A Poem I wrote! I know there are a lot but...

Here's a poem I wrote that I put in my siggy. Please tell me what you think. I really want to know your opinions and advice and stuff like that. Here it is.

True friends are for life.

True friends are miracles.

They are priceless gifts.

They are to be treated with care and respect.

Do it, and watch how long you will have true friends.

Forever ♥

~Me

It's really nice! Just watch your wording. Maybe use more similes and metaphors, and you'll have perfect poems in no time! ;D

Thanks and I see what you mean. Time to edit my poem!

True friends are for life.

True friends are miracles.

They are priceless gifts.

They are as fragile as newspaper.

Yet so strong in the long run.

Treat them with care and respect.

Do it, and watch how long true friends will last.

Forever ♥

OK, how's it now?

Much better! See what a difference metaphors and similes can make? Keep up the good work!

Thank you so much! Your advice helped a bunch!

Anyone else have any comments, questions, concerns? Anything?

Well, I really liked it . It's definitly true and very deep. .::♥::. took the words right out of my mouth , I liked how you edited it! Much better. You are a very good poet!

Thanks a bunch! I wrote a lot of poems in 3rd grade and my teachers were always very impressed so I decided to get back into the poet spirit by writing more poems a little out of my league. I usually do rhyming ones but I figured that the one I wrote without rhyming words would be even more beautiful. Here's another one.

Birds, so graceful, so luminous.

Building their nests for their babies.

Flying high, way above us.

Bird baths are a natural treat

To beat the summer heat.

Birds, so graceful, so luminous.

Oh how I wish, I could fly high with you.

I was in a rush, so it's not as good as the first one.

Aww... I would have to rate your poem a 10! Friendship, and life...

Thank you, Locky. I just wrote it while I was on the computer yesterday, just because I wanted to make a topic like this, LOL.

Your welcome! I'm not very good at Poems, I prefer comic books... xD

LOL. I don't know how you can compare comic books to poems but if that's what you prefer...

They are as fragile as newspaper.

Click to expand...

this line doesn't seem to go..It sounds really odd

but otehr than that it's great

nice! 8 out of 10!