Meggie

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tamagirl303

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The leaves were rustling, Meggie could only hear here heart beat the moment had come.

Meggie

 

"you're going to get a headache if you read in the dark Meggie," Her mother said.

 

"But this book is just to good to put down and the power's out,"Exclaimed Meggie.

 

Her book was about a girl who met a boy that was perfect for her. She just loved romantic books she always wanted something like this to happen to her... But no, her life was too boring to be in a book. Well, at least that's what she thought...

 

When Meggie woke up the next day her parents told her that they were moving to France. She was sort of exited because that was were her book took place...but she would miss her friends.

 

When they finally arrived in France, they went to a pirate themed amusement park. But what they didn't know was that the theme was real.

 

Meggie went to the pirate ship ride when someone knocked her out with a rock. When she woke up she was at some place she didn't recognize. It was so warm, and hot. The land was almost barren, with almost no watter.

 

One of the boys came over to her. He said he was captured too. But he looked familiar... He looked like the boy in her book! And he was here!

 

Every day he helped her with her work. But she never found out his name. One day she decided to ask him.

 

"Oh, I didn't tell you my name?" "I am sooo sorrry." " My name is Jacob."

 

That was the name of the guy in her book. OK this was getting kinda creepy. She was wondering what was going on.

 

That night he told her he was sneaking her out. He told her to follow him. They had to go through a forest to get back to the park, she knew her way back from there. He took her through the forest, when they got th the end of the forest he said, "Well... I guess this is good-bye."

 

"I guess so"

 

" Meggie," he said, "I... I... I'll miss you."

 

" I'll miss you too."

 

He started to lean in towards her. The leaves were rustling, Meggie could only hear here heart beat the moment had come. The moment in her book. He leaned in to kiss her.

 

"B-b-but how... you're in my book! you..."

 

"Sometimes wishes come true," he said, "now go."

 

"Good bye"

 

 

20 years later.

Meggie or Meggan, as she was called now. Was 31 years old... And had still not forgotten the time she had spent with Jacob.

 

 

 

 

 

 

That is the end It would have been better if I had more time.

 
O.O I LOVE IT!lolz...I also love romantic stories and such...keep writing!

 
It's good, but I have a few suggestions.

Use more detail

Your lacking alot of important detail in your story. For example, why did they move to France? Did she say goobye to anybody? What happened in that time period between being at home and going to France?

Also, you should explain your characters more. Does she have blonde hair? Brown hair? Tan skin? Pale skin?

Slow down

You are going WAYYYY to fast.

A good story is slow-paced. You can't be jumping from one thing to another without any ''filling''.

If you slowed down your story and added alot more detail, it could turn out to be a really good story! :)

 
It was fast, and short for a book.

Use more detail. Try and correct your grammar and punctuation.

Otherwise, it's good for a romantic story.

Best Wishes,

[[.x..barky..x.]]

 

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