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CrowFrost~

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Hope you like! It's based on me and my two bestest friends! (I am Vannah.)

Chapter 1: Mouthing Off.

Savannah sighed, “You HAVE to be kidding me! I mean a pop quiz? That’s uber lame!”

Nikki rolled her eyes, “That’s just like Mrs. Green I‘m surprised you weren’t ready for it!”

“I know, Van, you are falling behind!”

“NoNo, no one asked you Michael! C’mon, you’re so lame!” Savannah snapped, she didn’t mind Nikki as much as Michael.

“Sorry…” Michael sighed; his head fell, following his spirits. “Great, now I feel bad!” Savannah whispered to Nikki, who shrugged. “I don’t. “ Nikki continued eating. Sighing, Savannah got up and stomped to the trash can, throwing out her bagel and cream cheese which had around, a quarter of a bite in it. Her food was slowly thrown into the bin and her lunch box was emptied. When Savannah got back to the table, Michael had had a mood change, he was now in the stage of ‘No one is my friend, I only talk to guys’ or something. Just then, Bryan walked up, “Haha, Michael is being lame!” Nikki rolled her eyes. “Hey!” Savannah piped up, “Obviously you are being lame, coming over here just to torture him because you are a self centered jerk who has tormented him since preschool! GET A LIFE!” with that she was standing with her face about a penny away from his, “Now.” She growled, her hot breath coming in waves as she slowly took a step back, allowing Bryan to pass.

Nikki smiled, “Wow! Who knew, Van is crazy good!” she whispered, Savannah sighed, casting a long look at Michael, “I don’t under-“ she was cut off by Michael grabbing her shoulder, beckoning for Nikki to wait and pulling her over. “Look, I know you were kind of confused, about me going ballistic and choosing my friends.” He took a deep breath, his eyes wandered over to Nikki, who was pacing around. “But, I want to thank you, I don’t know too many girls who would walk up to the most popular guy in school and call him a self centered jerk!” Michael laughed, “It was pretty cool.” Savannah faked batting her eyelashes, “ThankyouThankyou!” she bowed, her pin straight, golden brown hair went flying, hitting Nikki in the face, making her fall, which in result ended up with a knot in both of their hair, but Nikki’s was naturally curly, which made it even harder. Then Michael tried to help, so by the end of lunch period everyone was on the floor, nothing accomplished, accept for Savannah mouthing back to Bryan.

Chapter 2: The call:

Savannah dropped her book bag on the floor, Nikki’s landed on top of hers as she flung it across the room easily, there was only a pencil and some candy in it anyway. “Hey, can I have the last cherry lollipop?” Savannah asked rummaging through the bag loudly. “Sure, I don’t like cherry anyway.” A sudden yell was heard from the basement,

“Are you girls home?” Savannah’s mom, Mrs. Step, called.

“Yea! Nik came too! She needs to cal-“a sudden ring from the kitchen made Savannah jump, dropping her candy halfway to her mouth, which Nikki quickly grabbed and yelled “Ten second roll!” before dashing after Savannah who was in the kitchen already. Savannah twirled the cord in her fingers as she listened to the person on the other line. “Mhhmmm…” she murmured. Nikki pressed her ear to the phone, trying to hear but all she heard was a deafening squeal that came from Savannah. “What what what?” Nikki pressed, only to have herself shushed. “Ok, Ok, sure!” Savannah pressed the phone to her shoulder and called, “MOMMMM!! PHONE!” her mother stomped up the stairs quickly. She grabbed the phone and pushed Savannah away. “Who was that?” Nikki whispered as Savannah pulled her by the arm up the stairs. “Wait until we get into my room,” Savannah let go of her arm once she knew that Nikki was following her. They walked into her teal room; pictures of the ‘trio’ were plastered to the wall, along with drawings and photographs of wolves, dogs, cats and other animals. She had recently hung snowflakes from the ceiling so those were there too, along with a pink lamp. Flopping down on her bed Savannah crossed her legs and smiled, “That was this guy…” Nikki leaned in closer, “He said that he saw my website.” Nikki nodded; Savannah had her own website that had pictures of her and videos of her singing and acting. “He says, that he wants me to go out to Cali and film a movie!” Nikki squealed, “When do you leave…?” she questioned. Savannah’s head fell. “Tomorrow morning… But he said I could bring a friend,” Nikki smiled, “But what about Michael? He will be lonely!” Nikki shrugged,

“He has Jayson!”

“So, what? He is our friend too!”

“Yea…so? “

“WE CAN’T JUST LEAVE HIM HERE!!!”

Nikki flinched, she knew Savannah liked Michael, but my gosh! “Ok, sorry.” Savannah hopped down the stairs, her mom handed her the phone.

“Excuse me, sir? Yes, this is her. Yes, yes. I was wondering if one more friend of mine could come along?”

A loud murmur was heard, Savannah let out what sounded like a growl. “Excuse me! This is the girl you want to work for you, yea? Well I won’t if my other friend can’t come too! Get me two tickets or nothing.” Savannah nodded a few times, flicking her hair out of her eyes. She looked at Nikki; no emotion was revealed as she thanked the person and handed the phone to her mom. “He is coming!” she screeched. Nikki, who still hadn’t taken off her coat screamed, “C’mon! Let’s go tell him!” Savannah ran out of the house, no coat or anything, the snow crunched under their feet as they ran. Savannah pounded on the door excitedly; she was shivering and chewing on her sleeve. “MICHAELLL!!!” she screamed, her chattering teeth making it sound deformed. The sound of stairs being clunked down was heard, then the door opened. It was his older sister, she was chewing gum and her hair was in a bun that looked mutant. “H-h-ii-ii” Savannah shivered, “I-is Michael there?” his sister nodded,

“DORK GET YOUR BUTT DOWN HERE, A BUNCH OF GIRLS ARE HERE.”

“MICHEELLEEE! SHUT UP!”

Michelle shrugged, “He’s coming.” She continued chewing her gum loudly until Michael shoved her out of his way. “What do you want?” he questioned them,

“Well…” Savannah shivered, Michael grabbed her by the arm and pulled her inside, “Now tell me.” He said, fidgeting with the lock to the door. “Remember the website that I have?” Michael nodded,

“Yea,”

“Well, this producer wants me to film a movie… and Nikki is coming.”

“Oh, ok.”

“I was wondering if you would like to come. To California, tomorrow morning.”

Michael just looked at her, his brown eyes were full of question and almost, happiness.

 
Good story and short-snappy chapters and it's kind of realistic like girls would act but you need to work on the punctuation because like different people talking have different paragraphs like:

"Moo," said Bob the cow

"Oink," said Betty the pig.

I'm not being a geek or anything, it's just the way of writing. It's still good though

 
Good story and short-snappy chapters and it's kind of realistic like girls would act but you need to work on the punctuation because like different people talking have different paragraphs like:
"Moo," said Bob the cow

"Oink," said Betty the pig.

I'm not being a geek or anything, it's just the way of writing. It's still good though
Yeah, when someone speaks you start a new paragraph.

Other than that, it was good. I got kind of confused when you said "We're going out to Cali" though. I thought you were saying "We're going to see someone named Cali".

 

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