Ok, it's been in my head for a while now

Well I've been having dreams and the dreams sort of go in a story plot. The dreams have reoccuring characters that never really change (except for this one part) and I have been looking forward to going to sleep lately because I no that there will be a new adventure waiting in my dream. So today I though "What the heck, I'm gonna put these dreams on paper" and so here I am. These are just random lines from the very begging of the 'series' if I'll call it that.

-AHEM-

Ari took off the hulster and chucked it on her bed lazily, railgun falling half out as it hit the surface. She threw her jacket off and it landed on the floor gracefully as she walked over to her window she gazed out of it, deep inside she felt something coming.

"Do you get pleasure in hurting people?" The girl who was shrouded in the shadows asked curtly. "I-I, that's, NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!" The crook yelled as he threw the beaten man back on the ground. The girl was furious at his answer and she pulled open a old style japanese fan. The man looked at it as it shone brightly in the dark. "Then go away!" The girl yelled as she swiped the fan at the man, the enormous wind pushed him right out of the alley and into the middle of the street. By the time he barely managed to look back for the girl she was gone.

"Is it ready yet?" Asked a man all dressed in military uniform asked a woman who was in a white lab coat, her blonde hair hung down to the middle of her back, her eyes as blue as the sky in summer. She nodded and pressed a button on the control panel infront of her. The large test tube, that was big enough to hold a full grown man, opened and a young girl, no older than 11 walked out. Her hair was black and it hung roughly down to the back of her knees. "Ava, say hello" the woman gestured to the military man. "Hello" the girl said without a wince of expression in her tone or face. "Ava?" The man questioned. The lady nodded, "Automatic Achiver" The woman answerd, "but the 'V'..." the man was cut off by the woman walking over to the desk. She pulled out a piece of paper and she wrote, automaticVachiver. "The 'V' is purely made for decoration. The man nodded and walked out. "Come on Ava, lets get you some clothes" the lady smiled.

-END-

Ok those are the 3 main characters in the story, please tell me what you think.

A little confusing for me.

But great base line, you could do something good with this! xD xD

Best Wishes,

[[.x..barky..x.]]

Ok heres chapter 1. ^^

Chapter 1

Arianna, also known as Ari aimed her gun and shot without flaw, her petit body was pushed back a fraction from the recoil. She cringed from the pain in her wrist, she looked at the target that she had been firering at and saw every shot was dead on, yet she sighed. She shoved the gun into the hulster on her right thigh and began to walk out of the shooting range.

Being an assasain for a highly recognized group could have an affect on a person, especially if that person is a 12 year old girl. The bell on her bracelet rang as she walked home in the dark night. Ari wasn't as helpless as she looked, her red hair was just below her shoulders and jaggered at the edges, her bangs covered her eyes which were dark brown.

The gun she always carried was called 'Railgun' and it stayed in her hulster unless needed, because she could really live on her martial arts skills alone. She was trained to be an assain since she was three and never had any other life.

She reached the front to her appartment, she stood at the door silently. She ran her wrist in circles hearing it crack after every rotation. She grabbed hold of the door knob and turned it. Walking inside her dark apartment she searched for the light switch.

She found the switch and turned on the light, it was a small house that had many lights but it was so small it really only needed the one. She unbuckled the hulster and threw it and Railgun onto the bed and it hit the bed with a thud and Railgun falling half way out of it.

She threw her long coat off and it feel onto the floor silently, she walked over to her large window and gazed out of it and sighed.

"Surely, there is more than this..." Ari questioned her life as she looked at the sky.

"Do you find pleasure in hurting innocent people?" The young girl asked, she was shrouded in shadows, the only thing that could be seen was the glimmer of a shaped that she held in her left hand. "What do you care!" The crook spat as he dropped his beaten victim to the ground. "You scum" the girl said curtly as she opened to object in her hand, it was reveald to be an old time japanese fan.

"What the..." The man was cut off by the girl swaying the fan his way and in a strong gust of wind that knocked him all they way out of the dark alley into the street. Before he could gather the strength to get up and search for the girl, she was gone.

The young girl ran through the night and along the long streets. Her mini school skirt blew with the wind that was created when she ran, her school tie hung losely around her neck and her bag was heavy in her hand.

"No, no, no, no!" The girl whisperd strongly to herself. She finally got to a large house. She shoved open the door and panted as she shut it, "Skyelet Jamie Robenson! You are late!" A tall, thin and tired looking lady walked in. Skyelet was taken aback when she saw how furious the lady looked.

"Ah, sorry mum, it's just, Laura and I got caught up in our project and..." "I don't care" Skyelet's mother cut in, Skyelet huffed and went red at how rude her mother could be. She kicked her shoes off and stormed upstairs.

"But dinner!" Her mother called out to her, "I ate at Laura's!" She yelled down the stairs. Skyelet shut herself off in her room, she placed her bag on her bed and she opened it and pulled out the fan. It had a cherry blossom petal pattern all over it. She pushed it close to her chest and walked over to her window. "Dad, I've have something I want to do..." She smiled cheekily to herself.

"Is it ready yet?" Asked a man all dressed in military uniform asked a woman who was in a white lab coat, her blonde hair hung down to the middle of her back, her eyes as blue as the sky in summer.

She nodded and pressed a button on the control panel infront of her. The large test tube, that was big enough to hold a full grown man, opened and a young girl, no older than 11 walked out. Her hair was black and it hung roughly down to the back of her knees.

"Ava, say hello" the woman gestured to the military man.

"Hello" the girl said without a wince of expression in her tone or face.

"Ava?" The man questioned.

The lady nodded, "Automatic Achiver" the woman answerd, "but the 'V'..." the man was cut off by the woman walking over to the desk. She pulled out a piece of paper and she wrote, automaticVachiver. "The 'V' is purely made for decoration. The man nodded and walked out.

"Come on Ava, lets get you some clothes" the lady smiled. Ava followed the lady without question. In the back of Ava's mind she was thinking about something and wondering about it. 'Free-dom' said in her mind.

.:END:.

Ok so that is chapter 1 wat do u guyz think?

please tell me wat u think coz i really wanna write chapter 2

ok?

please someone comment

its cool red ireally like the automaticVachiver and the carry on the fans

very japanese

its cool red ireally like the automaticVachiver and the carry on the fansvery japanese

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thanks thats wat i was going for, ill post chapter 2 soon ^^

im telling you this story rocks! you will become a famous writer one day

ok chappie 2 everyone ^^

Chapter 2:

Ari mumbled as she fluttered awake from her sleep. She looked over on the table to see 'Railgun' on the table, it glimmerd in the morning light. Ari sat up in her bed and stretched her arms. She flung her legs over the side of the bed and let the long sleeved, button up shirt hang losely off of her shoulders.

She stood and went and got dressed. For the final touch she buckled her hulster on her right thigh and placed 'Railgun' in it. She left the house ready for another day of assasination.

Meanwhile.

"Mum, I'm going!" Skyelet yelled out as she opened the front door with and bag in her other hand. "Bye sweetie! By good!" Her mother called back as Skyelet ran out the front door. She panted as she ran all the way to school. She got to her first class which was english with her favorite teacher Mr. Baltic, she idolised him as a father since her father died long ago.

"Do you have any comments Sky?" Mr. Baltic asked her. She stood up from her seat and just as she was about to speak the windows of the glass room broke towards all the students. Skyelet felt panic hit her as she heared screams and crys from her fellow students.

Then something that she thought she would never hear, a gunshot. She dismissed the still falling glass and looked to the front of the classroom. There she saw a young girl holding a gun in her hand with her arm streched out infront of her.

Skylet turned her attention to the body lying on the ground.

"Mr..." Skyelet gently whispered but then broke out to a yell, "Baltic!" tears trickled down her cheeks. "Murderer!" Skyelet screamed as she got to her feet, she charge at the girl holding the gun and flew a punch at her.

The girl dodged it with ease and tripped Skyelet then the girl took off. "Get back!" Skyelet screamed as she chased after the girl. Skyelet heard someone scream her name as she exited the classroom. She made sure to run past her bag and snatch her fan.

"Where are you!" Skyelet screamed through tears as she passed the halls. Thats when she saw it, the girl standing at the school entrance doors.

"There you are" Skyelet panted as she stood aproximently 5 meters from the girl.

"You screamed for me, so what do you want?" The girl simply asked.

"You...Who are you?" Skyelet questioned. "I'm Ari and to answer you're next question, I killed your teacher because I was ordered to" Ari looked Skyelet in the eyes.

"Who ordered you!" "The people I get paid by" Ari answered every question truthfully. In a fit of rage Skyelet snapped open her fan and swiped it at Ari "Wind Gust!", the gust hit Ari dead on yet she didn't move and inch.

"W-what! How come you didn't?" Skyelet was stunned that her attack did work. "You do have a strong attack, but it won't work on me."

The tears in Skyelet's eyes began to fall freely, "why did you follow the orders?" Skyelet wimpered. Ari's eyes widened, "excuse me?" She asked.

"Why did you follow the orders!? Who would follow orders to kill a man!? Why didn't you say no!?" Skyelet was furious.

"Because, because I couldn't say no!" Ari felt herself begin to shout.

"Of coarse you can say no! It's called freedom, you have that don't you!?" Skyelet began to calm down.

"You are right, I do have freedom and it's about time I use it" Ari turned her back to Skyelet, "thank you" she whisperd and in a flash.

"Ok Ava repeat the data I just inserted into you" the scientist told Ava.

"Primary objective 1, elimate 1 Ariana last name unkown, she works under the organization named Neos, she is thier elite assain make sure to take precaution" Ava repeated robotically.

*not qouting, it's too long*

Wow the prolouge (sp?), Chapter 1 and chapter 2 are all awesome! Love the...Japanesiness

omg thanks guys chapter 3 up very soon, i wish more people would comment though

[SIZE=7pt]One suggestion, try not saying "then she" "she said" "her dog" "her head" "she thought" so often, try mixing it up with the characters name, it will help with the little bit of confusion.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=7pt]One suggestion, try not saying "then she" "she said" "her dog" "her head" "she thought" so often, try mixing it up with the characters name, it will help with the little bit of confusion.[/SIZE]

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yeah i realised that when i just recently read it, i was so mad at my self and even i got annoyed, i will try to do better 4 chapter 3 ^^

ok chapter 3 everyone and i beg you please tell me wat you think ^^

Chapter 3

"Quit! What do you mean quit?" A tall girl stormed, "what I mean is that I give up, I no longer want to be an assasain" Ari stated simply.

"But, you can't do that Ari!" Ari pondered the older girls question for a bit, "oh, I think I can, Serinana" Ari smiled but then morfed her face into a serious expression.

"I-I, don't know what to say" this so called Serinana stammerd, "well I do, goodbye" Ari turned her back to the woman and left the room. Serinana stood in the same spot, speechless, she was un able to react to what was just told to her. No one had ever quit Neos, no one. Though does it mean that it is impossible, these thoughts ran through Serinana's head while Ari's head was filled with pride and satisfaction.

Meanwhile.

The police sirens and the noise of talking people passed through Skyelet's ears and into her head. She felt pats on her back and cooes of sympathy, but she basically tuned them out. The blonde clutched her fan tightly and she remember the words that she and Ari spoke. 'You're right I do have freedom and it'a about time I used it' 'thank you'. "So she didn't have a choice huh?" Skyelet looked out of her window, somehow in a short time she was thinking Skyelet was able to get back home.

"I want to talk to her, this Ari!" Skyelet jumped up and started to throw random clothes in a backpack. She snatched the fan off of her bedside table and held it so tight until her knuckles went white. "Ok, let's go!" The young girl inhaled a deep breathe then exhaled it with force. Skylet slowly opened her window and stood silently on the window sill, and with another deep breathe she jumped.

She landed on the ground with a thud but she wasn't fazed. Skyelet stood silently and took off into the night in search of Ari. Her blonde her flipped with the wind and her breathe shortened with every step. Skylet had no idea where she was running to but she seemed to get caught in the endless black with the occasional flicker of lights overhead. That's when she saw it out of the corner of her eye was a shadowy figure walking away into the night and Skyelet had to catch it before it dissapeard.

"Hey, you!" Skylet panted as she turned every corner and over come every obsticle in her way until she finally arrived at an old building that she had never seen before, she watched her figure jump up on the roof and Skyelet followed with ease.

When she reached the top she noticed the person had already found a sturdy place on the roof and had sat down. "Come to talk or take revenge?" A voice rang as Skyelet walked closer to the shadowy figure.

"I, ah, I wanted to talk, really" Skyelet spoke as she sat next to the person, "Ari right?" Skyelet asked, Ari nodded and opened her mouth ready to talk when a explosion over took the both of them, "What the h-!" Skyelet stopped dead when she saw another person, a very small one with the longest hair she had ever seen.

"Who are you?" Somehow Ari had reappeard beside Skyelet. The figures eyes shone blood red and it spoke with emotion "termination one Arianna" the glint in her eyes become more full. "Oh no, JUMP!" Ari screamed as she pushed Skyelet in the opisite direction as herself.

Another explosion followed the two girls, Skyelet quickly ajusted to the situation and open her fan gracefully while Ari drew out her gun. Both were ready for a fight. With a swipe of her fan the enormous gust of wind that failed against Ari prevaled against this stranger and blew her off of her feet. Ari was behind the unkown girl in seconds with her gun jabbed into her back.

"Don't move" Ari silently commanded. "Terminate" the stranger whisperd, Skyelet saw the same glint in the girls eyes.

"Ari move!" Skyelet screamed. Ari moved her postition to the front of the person and noticed a dot on her head. With skill Ari ran back to Skyelet, "Yo, fan girl can you hit that purple dot on her head?" Ari panted as she gestured to the unkown fighter.

Skyelet nodded as she picked up a small stone and smacked her fan shut. She concentrated and aimed the stone efortlessly then smack the stone with her closed fan like a ball and bat. The stone flew at the stranger with unimaginable force and hit her dead on, Skyelet heard a 'hmph' of amazement utter from Ari's lips. The stranger fell to the groud hard and Ari and Skyelet approached her with caution.

The girl was on the ground, eyes wide open like she had seen a ghost, her breathes were shallow but there. "Like I said, who are you?" Ari crossed her arms and formed a smug look on her face. The girl turned her head slightly and looked at Ari and Skyelet. "Do you know of free-dom" the girl utterd.

u know dat storrie not cool

woh thats heaps exellent "not" haha

woh thats heaps exellent "not" haha

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fine i get it, it suz but no need to be so nasty, anyways i finished it all 23 chapters O_O but i won't post dem i will just tell ya wat happens...

-AHEM-

Ari, Skyelet and Ava become a 3 girl team and they find a woman called Eve, Eve is basically light and she dubs the 3 girls as 'Eden's weapons', Eve also has a sidekick or apprentice if u may called Rose. The villain in the story is Adam and his sidekick Madeline. These two are working to destroy 'Eden' which is a gem and if destroyed the world will go with it. On the girls journey they meet Skeet, a easy going guy who loves his music. Skeet is also trained in martial arts and considers himself a ninja. Skyelet has a crush on skeet BTW.

Also while they are traveling they meet Roe, a cool boy with a great attitude he wields a staff in which he can preform amazing fighting moves, Ari loves Roe and Roe loves Ari. So the now group of 5 track down Adam and try to convince him to stop but they can't so they have an allmighty battle and defeat him, thus keeping 'Eden' safe and saving the world.

But Madeline try's to avenge Adam's death (because she loved him) but fails and gets a good talking to them she goes off and has the normal life a 15 year old should (ie. school etc). Then the five seal 'Eden' away from good and den end of story ^^.

I decided to call it 'Eden's Weapons' and I am currently working on a sequal called

'Eden's Weapons: Rise of the Neos 12'

>_> not sure ill post it though, like i sed i dream this like a TV series and Im at the end of 'Neos 12' and at da begging of 'Living souls' and it gets REAAALLLLYYY good xD but like i sed, rude people like 'ameliahayes' really put me off of writting :\

It seems like a good Idea for a book, But as structured critisizm I would recomend a bit more detail, desription, and Metaphores/ similes.

And AmeliaHayes, You should be ashamed of yourself. She is sharing a stoy with us, that she wrote herself, and you are putting her down? I would like to see some of your storys on here soon, because writing is alot harder than it looks.