Baines

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The Tamagotchi Guardian

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Baines - Part 1

Baines walked down the candle lit hallway, unaware of what was about to jump out at him. He studied each painting, commenting on it to himself. Baines was a massive critic. There was nothing you did he couldn’t criticise. He was criticising to himself, each individual painting. I don’t know why he did it. Nobody was there to be impressed by his unnecessary criticising but he still did it. He also commented to himself on the unstable stone walls, the polished marble floor and the bathroom tiled ceiling. To be honest, nobody actually EVER looked at him or listened to him when he criticised things. You could say he did it for his own benefit, you could say he did it because a loner, a serious loner.

He kicked the loose pieces of marble as he strolled, proudly down the hallway. His uncontrollable habit began to take over him. Not just the criticising, but the coughing and spluttering. He choked on particles of air before tripping over. It was like he was trying to impress somebody. But there was nobody around. Maybe, as I said he is a loner. Or maybe he was trying to communicate, communicate with the Gods.

It all started when I was de-icing my car on a Wednesday morning. I have a Ford Mondeo 2000. Not a very modern or high tech car I know, but I can drive in it and it was nice and cheap. As I said, I was de-icing my car with an old fashioned brush that I found on the floor a few weeks before. It was on the pavement, next to my neighbour’s garden. I don’t dare ask them about it, incase it was theirs. Anyway, I was by my car when a removal van appeared outside my house. I was shocked to find it was outside my house as there are plenty of decent parking places further down the road, near the other houses. Before I could begin to think why, a middle aged man leapt out of the lorry. He leapt out of a lorry which was black (same colour as my car) and had the words J.C.Removal spray painted on the side in yellow paint. It began to dawn on me that he may be lost, trying to find his way to another road, village or town and needed directions. But he didn’t. I’m shocked what happened next.

 

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