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A Story I'm writing :3


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DemonSlayer5050

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Posted 22 February 2009 - 10:51 PM ( #1 )

Ok here's the Introduction of it :3

I immersed my hands into the cool, clear, navy pond water. I watched as the pond altered from its cerulean color to an enchanting shadowy magenta hue. I suddenly whipped my hands from the water. The cherry shaded pond water didnít return to its original color. I stood up and backed away slowly. I tittered slightly to myself and half-smiled. It was evident that my ability to subdue my powers was very faint. But it was there. I could feel it deep within my veins. I stared at the pond. I would have to do my best to undo the damage Iíd caused. I pointed my hands to the pond. I sealed my eyes, doing my best to focus all of my power on the pond surface. With a slight circular twirl of my body, a glimmering array of pink beams appeared from my hands and shot toward the rose tinted water. I watched as the pink water changed back to its glistening indigo self. I grinned crookedly and began to walk away from the pond.




Leave an opinion ;D

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32

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Started

22 Feb 2009

Last Post

26 Sep 2009

kittystar

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Posted 22 February 2009 - 11:52 PM ( #2 )

OMG i luv it!!!!!!! u own as a writer and i dnt lk it... jealousy is boiling over me as i finally start 2 think again... :(

dmoquinn

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Posted 22 February 2009 - 11:56 PM ( #3 )

I love it, Sango.
Any more results? :(

Shatagama

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Posted 23 February 2009 - 09:52 AM ( #4 )

That's really good! Will you be posting more? I know a good website for writers if you want to get it critiqued fully (And I do mean fully! They analyze ever detail!) PM me if you're interested.
Can't wait to read on!
Fellow Writer,
-Shatagama-

Edited by Shatagama, 23 February 2009 - 09:53 AM.


[ B e t h ] ~ x3

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Posted 23 February 2009 - 12:39 PM ( #5 )

Wow, this is really good!~
I love it. :D
I hope you post more, it's great to read. [:

Chrissie~

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Posted 23 February 2009 - 03:06 PM ( #6 )

Cool.
I love it!
Lotsa details.
Awesome.
* kisses story. *
XDD

Edited by Chrissie~, 23 February 2009 - 04:07 PM.


Mr.Brightside

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Posted 23 February 2009 - 03:06 PM ( #7 )

I am in love with it, Sango O:
The sensory detail is amazing.
[LikeYourAvatar.]

DemonSlayer5050

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Posted 24 February 2009 - 11:42 PM ( #8 )

That's really good! Will you be posting more? I know a good website for writers if you want to get it critiqued fully (And I do mean fully! They analyze ever detail!) PM me if you're interested.
Can't wait to read on!
Fellow Writer,
-Shatagama-

I might. Currently I'm working on chapter one but I have Writer's Block. xP

kittystar

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Posted 26 February 2009 - 06:47 PM ( #9 )

lol sango do you still have writers block! Cant wait 4 more xD

ilovekuchipa555

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Posted 26 February 2009 - 09:40 PM ( #10 )

That's so cool. xP

kk445

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Posted 28 February 2009 - 04:06 PM ( #11 )

You need to post more 8D

Tis goodie

The Invisible Ice Climbers

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Posted 07 March 2009 - 01:47 PM ( #12 )

Thats AWSOME! It would make A good fantasy (i.e.; about a girl with magic powers) You could even publish that!

DemonSlayer5050

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Posted 07 March 2009 - 08:18 PM ( #13 )

Thats AWSOME! It would make A good fantasy (i.e.; about a girl with magic powers) You could even publish that!

Thanks! ^-^ I've got more so I'll post more in a bit ;D

hanatchi99

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Posted 19 March 2009 - 03:11 PM ( #14 )

Ooh, that's good. I'd just cut out a few adjectives though. There's a lot in that paragraph c.c

Neon Tiger.

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 03:48 AM ( #15 )

hrmmz.

i like it.

Memetchi Dreamer

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Posted 21 March 2009 - 09:46 AM ( #16 )

Wow! Your story has some great imagery. I could practically see the scene in my head! Oh, and writer's block stinks. But there's a way to get rid of it. if you're having a hard time thinking about what to write next, start planning ahead. Creating an entire outline for your story is a good idea. Then you'll know just what's going to happen...snd you can just write :ph34r:!

I like your story! Keep working on it!

DemonSlayer5050

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Posted 21 March 2009 - 09:50 PM ( #17 )

Ooh, that's good. I'd just cut out a few adjectives though. There's a lot in that paragraph c.c

i heart adjectives >:)

DemonSlayer5050

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Posted 21 March 2009 - 09:51 PM ( #18 )

Wow! Your story has some great imagery. I could practically see the scene in my head! Oh, and writer's block stinks. But there's a way to get rid of it. if you're having a hard time thinking about what to write next, start planning ahead. Creating an entire outline for your story is a good idea. Then you'll know just what's going to happen...snd you can just write :)!

I like your story! Keep working on it!

I usually do that. I have been doing that with this story, but there's some scenes that are kind of hard to describe you know?

Oreo_Mini_Cakesters

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Posted 21 March 2009 - 10:02 PM ( #19 )

I loves the descriptive words! I couldn't do that, I would die. I like it so far~
Keep writing!


DemonSlayer5050

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Posted 21 March 2009 - 10:07 PM ( #20 )

I loves the descriptive words! I couldn't do that, I would die. I like it so far~
Keep writing!

thank you, I love describing things so, expect to see a lot more descriptive words xD



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