[DemonSlayer5050]

Ok here's the Introduction of it :3

I immersed my hands into the cool, clear, navy pond water. I watched as the pond altered from its cerulean color to an enchanting shadowy magenta hue. I suddenly whipped my hands from the water. The cherry shaded pond water didn’t return to its original color. I stood up and backed away slowly. I tittered slightly to myself and half-smiled. It was evident that my ability to subdue my powers was very faint. But it was there. I could feel it deep within my veins. I stared at the pond. I would have to do my best to undo the damage I’d caused. I pointed my hands to the pond. I sealed my eyes, doing my best to focus all of my power on the pond surface. With a slight circular twirl of my body, a glimmering array of pink beams appeared from my hands and shot toward the rose tinted water. I watched as the pink water changed back to its glistening indigo self. I grinned crookedly and began to walk away from the pond.




Leave an opinion ;D

[kittystar]

OMG i luv it!!!!!!! u own as a writer and i dnt lk it... jealousy is boiling over me as i finally start 2 think again...

[dmoquinn]

I love it, Sango.
Any more results?

[Shatagama]

That's really good! Will you be posting more? I know a good website for writers if you want to get it critiqued fully (And I do mean fully! They analyze ever detail!) PM me if you're interested.
Can't wait to read on!
Fellow Writer,
-Shatagama-

Edited by Shatagama, 23 February 2009 - 09:53 AM.

[[ B e t h ] ~ x3]

Wow, this is really good!~
I love it. :D
I hope you post more, it's great to read. [:

[Chrissie~]

Cool.
I love it!
Lotsa details.
Awesome.
* kisses story. *
XDD

Edited by Chrissie~, 23 February 2009 - 04:07 PM.

[Mr.Brightside]

I am in love with it, Sango O:
The sensory detail is amazing.
[LikeYourAvatar.]

[DemonSlayer5050]

That's really good! Will you be posting more? I know a good website for writers if you want to get it critiqued fully (And I do mean fully! They analyze ever detail!) PM me if you're interested.
Can't wait to read on!
Fellow Writer,
-Shatagama-

I might. Currently I'm working on chapter one but I have Writer's Block. xP

[kittystar]

lol sango do you still have writers block! Cant wait 4 more xD

[ilovekuchipa555]

That's so cool. xP

[kk445]

You need to post more 8D

Tis goodie

[The Invisible Ice Climbers]

Thats AWSOME! It would make A good fantasy (i.e.; about a girl with magic powers) You could even publish that!

[DemonSlayer5050]

Thats AWSOME! It would make A good fantasy (i.e.; about a girl with magic powers) You could even publish that!

Thanks! ^-^ I've got more so I'll post more in a bit ;D

[hanatchi99]

Ooh, that's good. I'd just cut out a few adjectives though. There's a lot in that paragraph c.c

[Neon Tiger.]

hrmmz.

i like it.

[Memetchi Dreamer]

Wow! Your story has some great imagery. I could practically see the scene in my head! Oh, and writer's block stinks. But there's a way to get rid of it. if you're having a hard time thinking about what to write next, start planning ahead. Creating an entire outline for your story is a good idea. Then you'll know just what's going to happen...snd you can just write !

I like your story! Keep working on it!

[DemonSlayer5050]

Ooh, that's good. I'd just cut out a few adjectives though. There's a lot in that paragraph c.c

i heart adjectives >

[DemonSlayer5050]

Wow! Your story has some great imagery. I could practically see the scene in my head! Oh, and writer's block stinks. But there's a way to get rid of it. if you're having a hard time thinking about what to write next, start planning ahead. Creating an entire outline for your story is a good idea. Then you'll know just what's going to happen...snd you can just write !

I like your story! Keep working on it!

I usually do that. I have been doing that with this story, but there's some scenes that are kind of hard to describe you know?

[Oreo_Mini_Cakesters]

I loves the descriptive words! I couldn't do that, I would die. I like it so far~
Keep writing!

[DemonSlayer5050]

I loves the descriptive words! I couldn't do that, I would die. I like it so far~
Keep writing!

thank you, I love describing things so, expect to see a lot more descriptive words xD