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A Story I'm Writing

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  • animelover22 user photo
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Posted 26 June 2009 - 08:37 PM ( #1 )

Well, really, I've been slacking off from writing and I want to start again. I don't have a title for it yet, or really a plot, or an ending..... anyways, I'm still working on it but here's a small part of my new book.

Mao watched the thrashers circle above her head and land upon the trees for shelter from the pounding rain. Her bare feet were bit and bruised, and her face caked with mud. A perfect day to her. She hid under the blanket covered with a material that protected her from the rain that was turned into a small shelter, just by hanging it on a tree. Two pairs of clothes, shoes, meat in container and water in another, a smaller blanket and a small pocket knife was everything she owned. Her fire was put out by the rain, and she was alone.

She ran away from home about two weeks back. 5 policemen and 2 watchdogs have been used, but havenít succeeded. I wonder when theyíll give up. I canít stay covered for very long. Mao thought silently to herself, as she did many times. Suddenly her eyelids felt heavy and they drooped for a while until the rain slowly lulled her to sleep.

A low, growling noise was to be heard that startled Mao when she woke up. Her arm was cut and bruised and her head felt swollen. The ground seemed cold and wet. She looked up and she saw that the containers had been over and knocked over. The pocket knife lay beside her. The blanket was tattered. Mao looked around for the thing that had done this.

EDIT: I edited the last paragraph.

Edited by animelover22, 26 June 2009 - 08:39 PM.






26 Jun 2009

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  • demonslayer5050 user photo
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Posted 26 June 2009 - 08:54 PM ( #2 )

I really like it.

I think it's excellent. It has just the right amount of everything a story (well, beginning anyway) needs. Excellent work, I hope to see more :wub:


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Posted 01 July 2009 - 01:28 PM ( #3 )

I love it!

If you write more, please post it because it's very good! :gozarutchi: