You probably won't really understand what its about, so I'll explain.
I'm currently dating someone, and I like him.. but I'm still in love with my ex,
who my cousin is ALMOST in a relationship with. She knows I still have feelings for him, but not how much it'd kill me for them to be together.
And I'm having issues with my boyfriend... I like him, but he's taking this too fast and I'm not ready for a serious relationship, and I'm starting to question my feelings about him. He feels more like a best friend than a boyfriend. But he keeps telling me how he has family problems and is always depressed, but since we've been dating, he's getting happy again and things are perfect. So I don't know what to do! I had been thinking of telling him it wasnt working out (our relationship is also long distance) but it'd break his heart, and I'm afraid he'll do something stupid .... but anyways, sorry for ranting. Heres the rough draft for the poem.
It's true what they say, how you two would make the most beautiful couple that this world have ever seen
But when I see him, all I think about is what we were, and what we could have been
I had my chance, and I blew everything
I wasn't good enough, I lost my everything
It seemed like it lasted forever, but at the same time, it went by too slow
And now, you need to tell me the truth, I gotta know
If I told you I was still in love with him, that I'll never be able to let go
If I told you that when you talk about him, I put on a fake smile, just to show
To show that I'm perfectly fine, that I don't care
That I don't wish he was here instead of there
Would you back away, would you understand
That this love that I'm feeling wasn't planned
I know that I'm no longer so alone, but my heart must be as cold as stone
I can't get myself to love him, I don't feel happy, is that so bad?
How can things get better when all I want is what I had?
But I guess it's your turn now, and I must move on
Yet maybe, just maybe, I'm not that strong
Little by little, I fall into this mess I've made
If I break his heart now, he'll feel lonesome, he'll be afraid
Time just keeps passing us by, his love; it grows with every last goodbye
But I keep falling, drowning, not knowing what to do
So, I'm asking you, what will you do?
Will you go after him, the only one I've ever loved?
After all the things we've been through?
It hurts to think of you in his arms, it actually kills me
But there's nothing I can do, nothing I can say,
I just wish for him the happiness he deserves, and for his skies to turn a brighter grey
Dearest friend of mine, our blood runs the same
And when it comes to his heart, no one can claim
But look into my eyes, and see how I long for his love
That he's the one I've been dreaming of
And maybe you'll finally realize, finally know the truth
Can you handle it, will it break your heart?
Because if so, then let us be torn apart
I love him so much
He's what makes my world go round
And even though we don't talk now,
my heart speaks to him without a sound
I'll wait forever, my heart resting on a shelf
So please don't take him from me,
or I might just die myself.