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Henry's Farewell

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Poll: What do you think of the short story I wrote for English last year? (I got an A by the way. ;D) (3 member(s) have cast votes)

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Posted 30 July 2009 - 07:44 PM ( #1 )

Henry’s Farewell Written by Ripcurl 1-26-09

It was in the year of 1861 that General Henry Walker made haste toward his home in Trenton, Georgia, the murky, grey clouds hanging desolately in the air. He sprinted onto the walkway, and flew to the front door, desperately searching for the key among the many things in his pockets to unlock the door. He finally found it and shoved it into the lock, throwing the door wide open, all the while frightening the maid half to death.
“Gracious Mr. Henry Sir, you startled me somethin’ awful, you did!” said the nurse maid Scarlett Jenson as she went to pick up the basketful of laundry she dropped.
“Sorry about that Scarlett. Would you be a dear and tell me where Andrea is? Something very important just came up and I really need to speak with her.”
“Oh, I’s sorry Mr. Henry, but miss Andrea done went a wonderin’ outside with lil’ Colin jus’ a while ago ‘fore you even done come in the house. I don’t know where she’s gone to. I’s a been in the house all day.” Henry nodded his thanks and went out the back door to look around. After some searching, he found Andrea sitting on the swing next to the pond with Colin cradled in her arms.
“Hello Andrea, honey. I have some bad news, dear.”
She gazed at him with lifeless eyes. “You have to go, don’t you?”
He nodded. “I’m afraid so.”
She turned away from him. He knew he had just broken her heart and could feel his breaking along with it. “Why do you have to go? There are plenty of other men to fight for the south. Why you? Don’t you know that you’re the only thing I have?” Her sorrow turned to anger.
“I’m sorry Andrea dear, there’s nothing I can do. I have to go.”
The tears flowed down her face. “But what about Colin?! He needs a father! You’re just going to abandon him?! Abandon me?!”
“Now you know as well as I do that that’s not true. It’s my duty to lead to those men out there. If I stay here, I’d be abandoning them, and I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I did that. Things might seem meek now, but try to think positive honey. Things might not turn out for the worst.”
Andrea sat Colin on the swing and Henry pulled her into a long hug. He kissed her and stroked her soft hair. She hugged back with all her might and cried in his arms. Colin began to cry loudly and Henry picked him up and kissed his forehead. Colin calmed and cooed in his fathers strong grasp. Henry hugged him and handed him to Andrea. “I have to go now.” Henry kissed Andrea and Colin one last time, savoring the moment which might be their last.
Andrea continued to weep as she let go of him. “Come back to me, love.”
“I will. I love you my dear Andrea.”
“I’ll be waiting,” she whispered as she watched his shadow slowly disappear into the horizon.

Edited by Ripcurl, 30 July 2009 - 09:37 PM.






30 Jul 2009

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06 Sep 2009


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Posted 06 September 2009 - 12:53 PM ( #2 )

That's brilliant!! I love the way the maid talks in it! There is a strong sense of atmospherey-whatsit: imagery in it, which is good. It's like you aren't reading at all; you are stood there watching the scene. Well done!!