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An attempt at a poem.


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.:VeganCheeseBurgerFTW:.

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Posted 26 August 2009 - 10:53 PM ( #1 )

I had a dream that inspired me to write this poem. A rather sadistic dream really. This poem just describes how my dream played out in rhyme. I know there is a lot I could improve on. But this is my first poem attempt in quite a while.
Feedback? Thanks.

Her screams pierced through innocent ears.
Crimson knife placed by her side.
Bloody cheeks stained with her tears.
Wrists bound, ankles tied.

She was almost unknown.
Therefore they all forgot.
Her screams, a deafening tone.
She tries to scream louder, yet she cannot.

Her attempts to be heard fade into the night.
Now her heartbeat completely flat lined.
Morning comes, so does sunlight.
Innocent eyes, scarred by their find.

Days, months, years go by.
Piles of evidence, leading no where.
Her case fades, and begins to die.
Almost as if they donít even care.

On the wrong side of life.
From this she couldn't rebound.
Now dead beside that crimson knife.
Her body, lifeless, lying sound.
This concludes her troubled life.
Her killer, never found.


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Started

26 Aug 2009

Last Post

01 Oct 2009

x.Cant//Knit.x

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Posted 27 August 2009 - 01:58 AM ( #2 )

MICHELLE. I didn't know you were this poetic!

This poem sounds very.. gory. But the rhyming's epic and use of language is too.
I actually wanna hear about your dream now. Must've been terrifying. :0

.:VeganCheeseBurgerFTW:.

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Posted 27 August 2009 - 02:12 AM ( #3 )

Thanks (:
It was almost musical, my dream.
It was I was a loner girl, lost in a big world. I had issues and a bad life.
And one day I was walking alone and a guy jumped out of a bush, tied me up and started stabbing me. I screamed and screamed but no one could hear me. I cried at the thought of dying and my tears left streaks of white in the blood on my cheeks. The guy left the knife at my side and walked off. Then I died.
I was discovered by children 'Innocent eyes' and those children were emotionally scarred after that.
No one realised I was gone, nor did they care.
Police didn't work hard on my case and let it go cold.
Then it jumped forward 10 years and I saw the murderer with his family like a normal person and knew he was never found guilty of his crime.
It was quite graphic. When I woke up I had to check I wasn't dead, thats how real it seemed.

.tee.hee...x

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Posted 27 August 2009 - 02:20 AM ( #4 )

...Can I be scared?

Wow, just wow, That is an epic poem!

.:VeganCheeseBurgerFTW:.

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Posted 27 August 2009 - 02:22 AM ( #5 )

Fear is normal. Mum thinks there is something wrong with my brain and told me I'm not allowed near the knives anymore.

RawryCakes.x

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Posted 27 August 2009 - 11:43 AM ( #6 )

Michelle, it's amazing.

-Tamacandy

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Posted 27 August 2009 - 02:05 PM ( #7 )

That is amazing.
That's all I can say. That one word: amazing.

GotchiGirl96

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Posted 28 August 2009 - 04:21 PM ( #8 )

Michelle, you are amazing. o:

Tamatoshu2

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Posted 01 October 2009 - 11:24 PM ( #9 )

ehmegawd after reading that i got the shivers, it was so,graphic,it was like i was there as i read that, and i'm not going near anyone with knives anytime soon 0.0



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