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Kindi's Story


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monkeez_cutiez

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Posted 17 October 2009 - 09:24 PM ( #1 )

dang. I lost the paper I was going to write the story from. I'll write it soon!

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5

Views

295

Started

17 Oct 2009

Last Post

24 Dec 2009

GotchiGirl96

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Posted 19 October 2009 - 07:38 PM ( #2 )

Looking forward to reading it. (:

However, in the future, you should only create a story topic if you actually intend to put a story in the first post.

monkeez_cutiez

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Posted 23 October 2009 - 08:37 PM ( #3 )

i had the paper in my hand and put it down and now i cant find it.

monkeez_cutiez

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Posted 13 November 2009 - 08:53 PM ( #4 )

I'm Kindi. Many of you are probably thinking, umm ok. But this story is about what my life is like looking after my identical twin sister Sian. Sian has acute promyelocytic leukaemia. She's dying. And i'm the only one who can save her.

It started the morning I woke up and found her on the floor throwing up blood. She has had cancer since she was 2. But she had relapsed now. I was fgrightened that she would just die there and then on the floor.

GotchiGirl96

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Posted 14 November 2009 - 01:43 PM ( #5 )

It's a bit choppy, kind of like you skipped around. The organization is not there, and it doesn't sound very artistic, if you know what I mean. Play around with your wording a bit more, put your events into an organized sequence, and you'll have a good beginning. (:

monkeez_cutiez

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Posted 24 December 2009 - 01:20 AM ( #6 )

thanks for the advice.