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Keanitchi

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Posted 24 November 2009 - 05:40 PM ( #1 )

this isnt a poem so yeah

If you are lost, i will find you,
if your in the dark, i will guide you,
and if your trapped, i will set you free,
why? because your my friend, and i will never let you down <3

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24 Nov 2009

Last Post

29 Nov 2009

GotchiGirl96

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Posted 26 November 2009 - 08:17 PM ( #2 )

I like this. The only thing I recommend would be to take out that "why" bit at the end. This is how I think it should go:

If you are lost, I will find you.
If you are in the dark, I will guide you.
And if you are trapped, I will set you free.
Because you are my friend, and I will never let you down.

Just a suggestion.

Keanitchi

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Posted 27 November 2009 - 06:58 AM ( #3 )

yah rhanx, thats how it originally went, but i wanted to make it longer, or sumthing, i cant remember

GotchiGirl96

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Posted 27 November 2009 - 12:16 PM ( #4 )

Either way, I think it sounds really nice. Great job. (:

Keanitchi

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Posted 27 November 2009 - 08:25 PM ( #5 )

thanx

xxxkiroxxx

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Posted 27 November 2009 - 08:56 PM ( #6 )

Thats cool. i love it ♥

.:Black~Sheep:.

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Posted 29 November 2009 - 01:53 AM ( #7 )

I think it's simply beautiful. xB The only thing I'd say about it is to include capitals in the beginning of each sentence and put capital I's where you need them. The 'your' can be changed to 'you're' or 'you are.' It sounds (and looks) visually more appealing that way. Kill me for being such a perfectionist. XD

And since you're using this as your signature it would help if you add some color to it. Most members pick colors that suit their avatars. I recommend following Ksenia's structure down there. That put aside, the main point is that you've made a good effort. <3

Edited by .:Black~Sheep:., 29 November 2009 - 05:34 AM.


x.Cant//Knit.x

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Posted 29 November 2009 - 02:09 AM ( #8 )

If you are lost, I will find you,
If you're in the dark, I will guide you,
And if you're trapped, I will set you f r e e,
Because you're my friend, and I will never let you down.



I am turning this into some siggy contest, yes? x'D
No, but the point is, it's a simply beautiful poem.

Edited by x.Cant//Knit.x, 29 November 2009 - 02:10 AM.