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Kristina's all.


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x.xRainingx.xSunshinex.x

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Posted 30 November 2009 - 03:53 PM ( #1 )

CHAPTER 1~

It was Cristmas eve,no sound,no scurry,not a sound.I crept down the hallway,half expecting to see my mom and dad,wrapping gifts and puting them under the tree....nothing.I crept back down the hallway to my little sisters room,I peeked in and turned on the light slowley to a dim glow,she wasn't there.I sighed and wonders:where could they all be?.I walked down to mom and dad's room,no one.So I slowley slugged back to my room.I sat on my bed,but I sat on somthing hard,a book.I opend it,nothing but about a thousand words per page and a few black and white pictures.I read the first few words and drifted to sleep,I awoke about an hour later,but not in my home. A few wilted black trees stood in the path infront of me,and a small house,small but very dull, with only scrathes of gray paint and moss stuck to the side.Where am I?

Thats all I got.

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Started

30 Nov 2009

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07 Dec 2009

GotchiGirl96

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Posted 30 November 2009 - 06:41 PM ( #2 )

You need to put spaces after your punctuation.

The story is nice though. Good beginning.

froggybebe

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Posted 07 December 2009 - 06:31 PM ( #3 )

CHAPTER 1~

  It was Cristmas eve,no sound,no scurry,not a sound.I crept down the hallway,half expecting to see my mom and dad,wrapping gifts and puting them under the tree....nothing.I crept back down the hallway to my little sisters room,I peeked in and turned on the light slowley to a dim glow,she wasn't there.I sighed and wonders:where could they all be?.I walked down to mom and dad's room,no one.So I slowley slugged back to my room.I sat on my bed,but I sat on somthing hard,a book.I opend it,nothing but about a thousand words per page and a few black and white pictures.I read the first few words and drifted to sleep,I awoke about an hour later,but not in my home. A few wilted black trees stood in the path infront of me,and a small house,small but very dull, with only scrathes of gray paint and moss stuck to the side.Where am I?

Thats all I got.


Hi! I don't want to be mean, but you have to space out more! Okay?

It was Cristmas eve, no sound, no scurry, not a sound. I crept down the hallway, half expecting to see my mom and dad, wrapping gifts and puting them under the tree....nothing. I crept back down the hallway to my little sisters room, I peeked in and turned on the light slowley to a dim glow, she wasn't there. I sighed and wondered: where could they all be?. I walked down to mom and dad's room, no one. So I slowly slugged back to my room. I sat on my bed, but I sat on somthing hard... a book. I opened it, nothing but about a thousand words per page and a few black and white pictures. I read the first few words and drifted to sleep, I awoke about an hour later,but not in my home. A few wilted black trees stood in the path infront of me, and a small house, small but very dull, with only scrathes of gray paint and moss stuck to the side. Where am I?