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A poem.


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Goggle-Face

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Posted 02 December 2009 - 02:41 PM ( #1 )

I wrote this during lunch today. Any comments?


So everyone, lets work hard
For our own destiny.
Opening all the curtians
Of the new world.

The summer cicadas sing
Their haunting pslams of life.
To triumph the hardships
Of the fated lives.

Now that all of the troubles are done,
Lets all smile and be happy.
Listen, to the angelic winds,
Of summer, the peace, of this town.

Move onto the new world,
Everyone, take my hand!
We'll open the windows,
To breath the new world's air.

Cicadas voices cry into our ears.
Their songs brough pride and
Courage to us.


Replies

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298

Started

02 Dec 2009

Last Post

05 Dec 2009

Let_It_S h i n e

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Posted 02 December 2009 - 04:34 PM ( #2 )

TK, this is really good O:

I like it (:

GotchiGirl96

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Posted 02 December 2009 - 04:40 PM ( #3 )

The organization is kind of choppy, like it doesn't really flow together. I also don't understand what cicadas have to do with the story.

Goggle-Face

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Posted 03 December 2009 - 04:09 PM ( #4 )

The organization is kind of choppy, like it doesn't really flow together. I also don't understand what cicadas have to do with the story.

I was reading up on insects in Science, and we read ciadas. So then I was kinda 'inspired' by them ^.^;;

.::Le:.:Cheshire:.:Chat::.

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Posted 05 December 2009 - 10:45 AM ( #5 )

amazing claire, purely amazing <3