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"Dear You..."


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Goggle-Face

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Posted 22 January 2010 - 07:45 PM ( #1 )

Can I get some comments on this?

' You [ Faith ] '

I had no idea that my happiness wasnít going to last long.
So I simply knelt down to my approaching fate.

I used to have friends beside me.
But my actions made me feel like they left.
Centuries of guilt swallowed up my poor soul.
But Iíd grit my teeth and shake off the tears.

The feelings I had bottled up for many years,
Made me into this angry person I am now.
I just want someone to listen to me,
And believe that Iím not just a heartless person.

I want to hold your hand in my own,
So please donít leave me, I want to be heard.

The real reason I throw all of my real feelings away,
Is because I donít want to embarrass myself.
Any sense of laughter or smiles makes me cry inside,
Because I know that I will never truly express them.


Now that Iíve been brought into this new world,
I swear that Iíll try my best for a new life.
I promise that Iíll be as nice as I can be.
Standing higher, right by your side.

I had no idea that my happiness wasnít going to last long.
So I simply knelt down to my approaching fate.
My real feelings were always masked by glares,
Truly I wanted to cry in your arms.
Let me stand by you and make us feel safe.
I swear that Iíll make an effort for peace.


Replies

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Started

22 Jan 2010

Last Post

18 Feb 2010

mametchi_luver

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Posted 14 February 2010 - 12:00 AM ( #2 )

i love this

+[ b r u t a l ]+

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Posted 14 February 2010 - 12:04 AM ( #3 )

1oooo / 1oooo.
I'll say no more. 8D

Goggle-Face

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Posted 14 February 2010 - 10:27 AM ( #4 )

Thank you. 83

Oh Star.x

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Posted 14 February 2010 - 11:06 AM ( #5 )

Amazing.
I love it so much, especially the repetition.
<33

Goggle-Face

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Posted 14 February 2010 - 11:12 AM ( #6 )

Thank you, I'm glad to hear that. :3

mametchi_luver

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Posted 14 February 2010 - 11:13 AM ( #7 )

i like how it flows it was good u should right more

Twin

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Posted 17 February 2010 - 06:43 PM ( #8 )

Beautiful. It was written very nice, such emotion was put into the words. I love every word; it flowed nicely. There were hardly any rough edges or bumps to your poem. Good job.

Maria Prozac

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Posted 18 February 2010 - 12:24 AM ( #9 )

TK.

You are talented.
I'll say no more.

edit; lolsorry wrong account.

Edited by Maria Prozac, 18 February 2010 - 12:25 AM.


Goggle-Face

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Posted 18 February 2010 - 03:21 PM ( #10 )

Thank you, Maria <3 /lol



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