Posted 27 January 2010 - 08:48 PM
Posted 27 January 2010 - 09:27 PM
It's just a wall of text. Quite a bit of spelling mistakes, and a few awkward sentences.
I just got lost at When he arived just as the elves put there weapons a while bunch of creatures burst in killing the inocent
I have absolutely not clue what's going on in that sentence.
Really, this is also too short for a prolouge. It's like, the outline of one. I see no plot delevopment starting. (Really, that's what a prolouge is, the story behind the main story) I get that this is about mythical creatures, but this is just a jumbled mess of ideas, stitched together to try and form some sort of a plot.
Posted 27 January 2010 - 09:44 PM
p.s this is based in a book I'm acutuly writing only this ones diffrent
p.s.s thanks for telling me this stuff so in my real book I can make it less confusing.
Posted 27 January 2010 - 09:48 PM
Posted 28 January 2010 - 03:19 PM
It's just a jumbled mess of a story. This isn't a prolouge, it's an outline. Your prolouge isn't your idea notebook, it's your buildup to the storyline.