Open Book [fourth remake]

So... I decided to make [yet another] remake of Open Book, seeing how the other three times I tried to write it failed. I'd like honest opinions, but not harsh comments, please? Criticism is always welcome. There's going to be more than this... I just can't be bothered to write more right now.

I lay half awake on the bed, wishing that I had never woken in the first place. It was only seven in the morning, and on the weekend, too. I rolled onto my stomach and buried my face in my pillow. The quiet tapping sounds of raindrops on my window seemed a thousand times louder due to the silence of the house. Typical Canadian spring weather. I rolled around on my bed a few times before falling onto the floor with a loud bang. Dammit. I just hope that nobody was awake to hear that. I sat up and looked around my room. A small twin bed in one corner, a closet in another, various posters covering my green wall... the usual. I turned to look at myself in the mirror. The face I seen staring back at me was the pale, green-eyed, orange-haired Clarice that I had seen so many times before in my life.

It was then I realised that somebody was awake, as I heard footsteps running towards my room. When a familiar blond male appeared in my doorway, I instantly recognised him as my older brother, Nelson. Stupid Nelson. I thought I had told him to not panic whenever the slightest thing happened to me. Before he could ask the obvious question, I told him "I'm fine. Now leave me alone and stop worrying."

Obviously, he payed no attention to me. "What happened, Clarice?" he asked, a little too concerned. With me being the fourteen year old little sister, and him being the seventeen year old older brother, he always felt the need to look after me. "Are you hurt? Why are you awake this early?" Of course, since I always sleep in, he'd have to ask me why I was awake. I wasn't in the mood for his stupid overreactions, and right then, I just wanted to punch him in the face.

"I already said I'm fine! Leave me the hell alone!" I flopped down on the floor and sighed as I looked up at my ceiling. Did I really want to fight with him this early in the morning? "I'm hungry. Make me breakfast." I said using my whining tone of voice. Of course, I didn't want to make it myself like I usually do. Since he had annoyed me this early in the morning, I'd consider this mild payback. "I want a bagel. Think you can handle that?"

Nelson stared at me, slightly confused. Although my mood swings were frequent, and he had gotten used to them, he was surprised to see me go from angry to childish this quickly. "You can make it yourself." he simply told me. An expected response.

I stayed on the floor, refusing to move. "Okay, then. I'm just going to lay here, to let me starve to death. That's fine with me."

"Fine, I'll make you breakfast. Just get up off the floor." he told me. I knew he still wasn't willing, but as long as he listened to me and did what he was told, I wouldn't have a problem with it. "You should stop being so demanding, Clarissa."

I sat up and glared at him. He called me that? How many times would I have to tell him not to? "DON'T CALL ME THAT!" I screamed. I hated whenever people called me Clarissa. It was the name on my birth certificate, yes, but that doesn't give people the right to go around calling me that. I didn't care if they started calling me the most ridiculous name ever heard, just as long as I don't get called Clarissa, I'll be happy.

This is awesome. How do I know? I started to feel bad for Nelson, which means you're expressing the emotions well. Poor Nelson xD He's being so caring and stuffffffff.

Hahah I agree with ~TearsxarexlikexStorms~ . When Clarice was acting childish I was thinking that and then you mentioned it. Great emotions, puncuations and grammar.

I’d definitely buy this book if I saw it in the bookshop. These kind of characters are awesome, especially if they’re the narrator, but not many people seem to write them. Not intentionally, anyway. There were no spelling, grammatical or punctuation errors I could notice, so you’ve earned yourself both Grace and Grammar Hitler’s approval.

I know I promised to read it a while back but I forgot :/

It was really really awesome Kris. I agree with Grace, I would defiantly buy this if it was on the shelf. It has gripped me even though you've only written a little bit. Not many stories do that to me.

Kristin, I don't think you know how talented you are.

This is great.

The rest of chapter one.

He laughed at me. Joke or not, I didn't find it funny. "Okay, okay. Now get up." He kicked my leg slightly with his foot in order to make his point. He was getting rather annoyed with me by now, and to be honest, I actually wanted to see him angered. He isn't angry very often, and when he is, I love every minute of it. That wasn’t going to happen, though. All he did was roll his eyes at me and sighed, before leaving the room. Well, at least he wasn’t going to bother me anymore.

I stood up and glared at him as he left the room and headed down the stairs. I picked up my hairbrush and untangled my messy hair. Wow. Only seven thirty in the morning and I was already awake. I rarely ever wake up this early during school days. Speaking of school, I'd have to go back tomorrow. Spring break always had to go by so quickly- it just isn't fair. Oh well... Summer break would be here soon. Though me being the impatient person I am, I didn’t want to wait three more months for it to come.

I was jolted from my thoughts when my brother yelled at me from downstairs. "So are you coming downstairs or not?" Why did Nelson always have to be so impatient? He'd only been waiting for me three minutes, not even that.

I set my brush back on my dresser and headed out the door. "Yes, yes. I'm coming, I'm coming." I told him. I seen my cat running up the stairs and chased after him. He was a tabby named Shoes. I found him in the woods by my house last year, and since there's no other houses nearby, assumed he was a stray. Although that necessarily wasn’t the case, I hadn’t seen any ‘missing’ posters around.

I picked up my cat and poked him lightly on the head a few times before he hissed at me. "Silly kitty!" I said to him. I held the furry creature tighter, with no intention of letting him go.

"Clarice! Put the cat down!" How did Nelson know I had the cat in my hand? Wasn’t he supposed to be in the kitchen making my breakfast like I told him too? I looked down the stairs, and there he was, looking up at me. I could tell he was frustrated.

I dropped shoes onto the floor, and he scurried off into the spare bedroom. He hated me, and I knew that. But of course, that never stopped me from picking him up and forcing him to fall asleep in my arms so I could carry him everywhere. I ran down the stairs, nearly tripping when I got to the bottom.

Not even bothering to talk to Nelson, I walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. I looked around for the television remote, and when I couldn’t find it, I questioned my brother. “Nelson! Where’s the remote for the T.V.?”

“You had it last. How would I know where you put it?” Was his response. Okay, so I admit that I can’t remember what I did with the remote yesterday. I still blame Nelson, though. Why? Because I always blame him, even when it’s not his fault.

I shrugged, lying down on the brown sofa and looked up at the white ceiling. I didn’t really want to watch the television anyway. There’s nothing on this early except for little kid cartoons and morning talk shows. It was then I wondered why my brother was taking so long with my breakfast. It was just a bagel- how hard could it be?

Just as I began to wonder this, in came Nelson with a bagel and orange juice. Did it really take him ten minutes? Well, that didn‘t matter. It was here now, and as long as I got to eat, I‘d be happy. “I kind of burnt your bagel. Sorry.”

I looked at it. Half was dark brown, the other half was black. I picked it up and tried to bend it, though it was solid as a rock. Well, at least he apologized, right? “Yeah… kind of burnt it!” I said sarcastically. Nelson never could cook. It was then that I wondered exactly why I wanted him to make my breakfast for me… oh right. I couldn’t be bothered to do it myself. I sighed, got up off the couch, and headed into the kitchen. “I’ll just go get myself some cereal, then.”

Nelson shrugged. “Okay. I don’t really care, to be honest.” he said. “Just don’t spill the milk all over the counter again.” How come every time I get myself some cereal, he has to remind me of the time the whole 4 litre carton went to waste. That was a one time thing- he didn’t have to keep reminding me.

I like it.

I love it, really. It's very good, and you're talented at writing. I love the way everything just sounds. It's not all flowery and overly wordy, it's just right.

I can't wait for more~

I like it.

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lolol Krystal, you never fail at making me laugh. xDD

And thanks. :3

It's awesome Kris!

better than I could ever do

It's awesome Kris!
better than I could ever do

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Sorry, wrong account :3