Journey of Spells

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Jadeie

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NOTE: I will probably never post Ch. 2 because I just don't have the time, but anyways here is your story ;) AND my spellcheck isn't working :)

CHAPTER 1: The Earlier Morning

I heard an beeping noise, it started to aggravate me.

I launched my hand over to my long bedside table and turned off my beeping alarm, the annoying sound stopped.

I shut my eyes yet again to rest, then was again disturbed.

"Wake up honey! Its almost time for school!" yelled Mum, probably trying to get me to do the dishes in reality.

I opened my eyes once again, slipped my feet into my hunter green sneakers and gathered my school uniform from the large brown cupboard. I rubbed my eyes and looked at my bedside clock, it was 8:00 am.

"Mum! It's only 8:00!" I moaned, scratching my head as if I had headlice.

"Alexa! Did you want a slap?" snapped Mum, she got angry more easy than Dad so I prefer to be around Dad rather than Mum, even if Dad doesn't notice I exist.

"I guess not," I muttered to myself, throwing my uniform all over my untidied bed. I chucked on the ugly green pile of clothes.

I walked out into the kitchen and packed, or stuffed my bag with everything, books, food, the whole lot.

I could hear my Dad screaming at the television in the other room.

I walked over to him and changed the channel to sport for him.

"That's how you changed the channel," I said smirking at the fact Dad couldn't use a television. Dad rolled his eyes,

"I knew that." I grinned at Dad, he was clueless at everything, Dad waved his hand at me, signaling me to go. I glared at Dad then left, he never talked to me.

I peaked out the window, seeing a shining yellow school bus waiting for her outside.

"Bye Mum! Bye Dad!" I said quickly, before slamming the door and running into the school bus. I looked on the bus, only one empty seat. I walked over, it seemed longer than it was. I clipped on my seat belt than payed my attention to those around me. Everyone on the bus glared at me, I didn't really like that type of attention.

I sat on the seat and placed my bag gently under my seat, it was the usual bus ride to school, just down Gelding road.

The boys on the other side of the bus started to tease me.

"Nice hair!" said one. All the others laughed, I didn't get it.

I felt my hair, oops, I hadn't brushed it.

I crossed my arms until the boys stopped laughing at my hair, which I didn't find hilarious.

I pulled off my left shoe to check the sore on the bottom of them, I forgot which one had the sore, so I pulled my right shoe off too.

The bus doors flew open, showing the hard concrete path to school. I snatched my bag, so I could get out quickly.

Every kid on the bus began pushing and pulling to get out, I just got off my seat before a girl pushed me back on my seat to get through herself. I made it off, jumping onto the concrete.

"Ouch!" I yelled, sticks and twigs were on the ground, then I noticed I left my shoes on the bus.

I turned around and the bus doors shut at a rapid speed.

"Dammit," I mumbled to myself, first my hair wasn't brushed, now my shoes are lost? This may turn out as a worst day than expected.

I walked up the stone steps, they were freezing cold and sent a shiver running up my spine. It felt like forever to get up the stairs and finally enter the building.

"You have been chosen, Alexa," A voice came into my head, it was a very deep voice like in the movies.

"You have been chosen," the voice repeated.

I started to feel a tingle, slowly coming up my body from my feet.

"Why are you talking to me?" I asked the voice, I knew I would attract attention but I needed to find out. I got no response.

I noticed a bunch of kids staring at me, one cracked up laughing.

I suddenly felt tired, my legs were weak. My body fell to the ground, all I could see was black.

Hours later I woke up in a cold dark and damp place, the ground was hard and was pushing a bruise into my back.

A light switched on, I could see a blur of someone, it became more clear. I saw an old man with a long beard, Just like Santa Claus,

"Hello Alexa."

"Who? What? Where?" I questioned the man, I was so shocked I couldn't even finish off my questions. The old man chuckled, in a very deep voice.

"It will all be explained later," the old man said, he had a straight face.

"Who are you?" asked Alexa, still freaking out that an old man had somehow got me into this place.

"I am Dralicauts the third, but call me Dralick for short," the old man explained, holding out his hand. I shook his hand.

"Pleasure to meet you, now, What am I doing here?" I asked, I was getting calmer now that Dralick had mentioned his name.

"You are selected to be a magic-user," explained Dralick, not very well explained but, at least I knew what I was doing here; kind of.

"You mean a Witch?" I asked, hopefully not as they weren't even real.

"Yes, you must complete a quest I have set for you," said Dralick slowly, making it sound exciting.

"That's great," I said sarcastically.

Dralick handed me a scroll, I unrolled it and read it.

This will be a test of skill, loyality, power, strength, friendship and trust. First we start your quest in Draythlin to behead the threat that guards the stone of willpower.

"What do you mean 'threat'?" I asked Dralick, looking up. But he was gone, suddenly some wall-torches light up which showed the exit. I walked up the staircase and looked to my left, there was a book just sitting there. I grabbed it and blew off the grey dust which revealed the title, 'Magic Words'. I flipped through a couple pages in the book, I imagined it must be a Witch's Spellbook.

I grabbed it then walked out through a hole, It looked much darker than before. A flash of light appeared, then I shook my head thinking it was my imagination. I looked through the book until I came to a spell that grabbed my attention.

Fragulatinus:

(Frah-gull-at-in-us)

A spell able to slaughter a beast.

Then I pulled out the scroll, maybe I could use the spell on the so called 'threat'. I continued to walk then I heard the voice again,

"Alexa, my advice is to rest and await morning."

The voice made a good point, I would probably get lost if I tried getting to Draythlin now.

I looked through my spellbook and saw a excellent spell.

Colidibus:

(Col-ee-dee-buh-us)

A spell to fall asleep if properly pronouced.

I stared at the spell, I needed to get to sleep.

"Colidibus!" I shouted, I could feel my body dropping to the ground and bouncing a little after hitting the lush grass.

 
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Its not, If it was it would be in a school, She wouldn;t be going around anywhere she wants and just because it has a witch doesn't mean its ripped off harry potter. I spent a couple days writing this.

 
Abusive, mean parental figures.

Chosen one at a very young age.

Made fun of on the first school day we see them go through.

Explanation of the plot for the novel. Only Harry Potter did it right.

Witch at an age I presume to be 11.

Spells similar to Harry Potter spells.

Stories on magicians are fine. Watering down Harry Potter is not.

And frankly I don't care if you spent a couple days working on it. I can write a full oneshot in a day. It could've taken you a year to write this and I still would've given you the same review.

 
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Shes 15, I presume Harry doesn't go around with a Spellbook, he has a wand and broomstick which neither are going to exist in this story. Harry wasn't picked on on his first day of school, more like people admiring him. Did Harry have alive parents? No, cuz they're dead.

 
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Shes 15, I presume Harry doesn't go around with a Spellbook, he has a wand and broomstick which neither are going to exist in this story. Harry wasn't picked on on his first day of school, more like people admiring him. Did Harry have alive parents? No, cuz they're dead.
Uh...The principles are still the same.

And no, Harry was picked on. We're talking about actual school, where he was picked on by Dudley and his gang. If you really want to talk about picked on in Hogwarts...Draco Malfoy, anybody?

And, what Claire said.

 
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Its only cause Goggle-Face pointed it out right? lol.

 
I don't even read/watch Harry Potter and I can see the resemblance. It's not a good story if you have to steal ideas from other popular books.

No, Claire didn't need to point it out. It's very painfully obvious.

 
I agree with Apple :/ It's ridiculously obvious. There are other things wrong with it, such as the lack of proper paragraph structure. Reading a story that's written like a story but organized like a poem is rather annoying. Your character lacks a backstory. Why do people hate her? Actually, I can see why. She's a sue. True the story has just started but with the way you've developed the character [though you haven't done much of that either] she appears to be a mary-sue. It's clear she is going to complete her quest. We already know how it's going to end and we know it's going to be boring, so there lacks a point in continuing. There are many other things but if I said them all I might reach the character limit for the post.

 
Her character has never changed. It's alwats been a sue.

I suggest you work on your story more before posting it here. You should try a mary-sue litmus test, then you'll see what we mean.

 
One thing to point out- I had no intentions to make it similar to Harry Potter nor copy, I just followed my imagination.

 
All right people, we get the point- This story is quite similar to Harry Potter, so enough with pointing it out. I'm not taking sides, I'm just saying perhaps if we stopped making negative comments about this, and let Jade follow his/her imagination, this could blossom into something truely amazing. We simply need to water the flowers, and see if they bloom into something great, right?

In other words: Just let Jade write and let's see how it turns out.

 
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