Facing Death

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monkeez_cutiez

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This is a poem I wrote after writing my Criminal Minds story. The story focused mainly on a very violent murder attempt on JJ. This is from her point of view shortly after the attack, before anyone finds her.

It hurts so much

I wish I dead

It's killing me slowly

Messing with my head

Something inside me writhes and twists

There's nothing more than I fear

Than to die like this

The baby

Dear god, the baby

She'd better be ok

Or...more pain

If I survive

The blood is soaking me

Like red ribbons,

Entwining their way over my skin

I'm cold

I'm disoriented

So this is what dying feels like...

 
Jest to wiersz napisałem po napisaniu mojej historii Karnego Minds . Opowieść skupia się głównie na bardzo gwałtowne próby morderstwa na JJ. To z jej punktu widzenia wkrótce po ataku, zanim ktokolwiek ją znajdzie .
To tak bardzo boli

Chciałbym dead

To mnie zabija powoli

Messing z głową

Coś we mnie wije się i skręca

Nie ma nic więcej, niż strach

Niż umrzeć tak

Dziecko

Drogi Boże , dziecko

Że lepiej być ok

ból lub ... więcej

Jeżeli przeżyję

Krew mnie jest moczenie

Jak czerwone wstążki,

Łączący drogę przez moją skórę

Jestem zimny

Jestem zdezorientowany

Więc to, co czuje się jak umiera ...
Click to expand...
To tak bardzo boli

Chciałbym dead

To mnie zabija powoli

Messing z głową

Coś we mnie wije się i skręca

Nie ma nic więcej, niż strach

Niż umrzeć tak

Dziecko

Drogi Boże , dziecko

Że lepiej być ok

ból lub ... więcej

Jeżeli przeżyję

Krew mnie jest moczenie

Jak czerwone wstążki,

Łączący drogę przez moją skórę

Jestem zimny

Jestem zdezorientowany

Więc to, co czuje się jak umiera ...

Your line is translated into Polish.

 
WHY THE HECK WOULD YOU EVEN WRITE THAT? :D ^_^

 
Look, I want feedback, not people screaming abuse at me. If you're a fan of Criminal Minds, then screw it, so am I. I felt that JJ needed more action, so I gave it to her. She survives in the story, and then I decided to write a poem too. She will always survive, I'd never actually kill her, I'm not that sadistic.

 
A Polish translation? Odd.

Regardless.... Please excuse me but OH GOD JJ ;_; I LOVE YOUUUU

Now that that's out of my system.

This was pretty good. I see rhyming, but it wasn't that forced. Maybe work on your rhyming if you're going to rhyme, for sometimes it doesn't always work out. (Hence why I never rhyme in poems/songs... ; ^_^

But, this was really good. I lovelovelove JJ so freaking much if you can't tell, I think she's awesome ;x;

 
I didn't want to rhyme all the way through, because it got a little complicated. I love JJ too, and you'll agree with me (I hope) that she needs more action? I can type up the story and email it to you to read, if you like. Just PM me and let me know if you'd like to read it.

Thanks BTW for the comments.

 
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