One of the easiest and simplest ways to make Chat a nice place to visit is to behave nicely towards others - even the annoying ones (they can't report you if you're being nice to them and it annoys the heck out of them without you breaking any rules).
If that really is beyond you, and you are getting mad then just stop responding to someone if they are trying to start a flame war. No one likes attention seekers but if you keep replying to them then you give them all the attention they hoped for.
Like Admin says - it's not one "strike" and you're out. Members get lots of chances to change or learn from mistakes (way more than 4th chances IMO).
Usually we try to moderate by PM and ask why something happened or make suggestions on how to avoid a similar problem occuring.
OK - I will admit that you CAN get kicked straight out if you are going to do something totally lame like post an inappropriate link or post reams of abuse or plain spiteful messages towards members (any members... even ones you find irritating)... that's the kind of behaviour not welcome in Chat.
No one gets kicked out "for no reason" - there's usually some prior behaviour involved - and even if you don't know what it was, the member who was kicked usually knows why (even if they don't want anyone else to know why).
Chat's supposed to be somewhere you can meet friends and make friends without having to worry about being bullied or abused or put down just because you're not the same age as everyone else or interested in the same things as everyone else.
Likewise no one should enter Chat and expect to have everyone stop what they are doing and pay attention to them.
Neither is it reasonable to interrupt a friendly conversation between others to try to take it off topic and onto a subject you want to chat about... nor expect other members to stop what they are chatting about to "teach" you or explain something in detail to you - especially when you can spend a little time reading through previous replies on the board to bring yourself up to speed with what everyone has been chatting about (or use Google to research and read up on something you don't know about...)
Sometimes these things are not obvious - or they have to be learned.
(Like the fact that you should follow the site rules in Chat even when a mod is not there....)