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Little Red Riding Hood: The Wolf's Side of the Story


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Tinkalila

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Posted 16 January 2012 - 07:01 PM ( #1 )

After I got out of jail for harassing the Three Little Pigs, I rented a condo in

NYC. People say that New York is where dreams come true, but that’s a lie.

My dream was bacon and I still had none!

Anyway, one day I was in my condo, busily writing an apology letter to the

three little pigs, when my landlord walked in. He told me that since I could

not afford the rent, I was not going to be able to stay there any more. So, I

spent a few days out on the streets, until I had decided to travel to the

woods, where most wolves live. But, when I got there, I found a quaint little

house, (with a flatscreen TV!) that didn’t seem to be inhabited, so I moved

right in! Little did I know that this EPIC house belonged to Little Red Riding

Hood’s grandmother, who was currently vacationing in Hawaii.

Just as I started to get comfortable, I realized that I was practically

starving. So I set out to get some food. As a wolf, my instincts told me to

look for a supermarket, (usually Key Food) but obviously, there were no

supermarkets, much less a Key Food, in the heart of the woods.

I said to myself, “Hmm...this is going to be tougher than I thought.”

I started to walk away from my new home, hoping to find some sort of

food. After about ten minutes, I saw a girl in a red cape, who happened to be Little Red Riding Hood. Wait! Before I continue my story, I would like to

let you know that from here on out, I will be calling Little Red Riding Hood by

her shorter, real name: Gertrude.

Now you see, I didn’t even notice the picnic basket of bacon that she was

carrying to her grandmother’s house. If my memory serves me correctly,

that lovely cape was made from a fine variety of silk. I walked over to

Gertrude to compliment her on her cape when I noticed her picnic basket for

the first time, and this is how our conversation went:

“Hello there.”

“Um, hi, what’s up?”

“Oh, nothing. What have you got in that basket?”

“ Bacon. For me and my grandmother to share.”


“ How lovely! May I join you?”

“NO!”

She hit me over the head with the basket, stuck her tongue out at me, and

skipped away.

After this disturbing experience, I needed a nap, so I took a different path

than Gertrude and headed home. I got into bed right away. Just as I was

starting to get comfy, I heard a knock on the door.

“Come in!” I shouted. To my surprise it was Gertrude!

“Hi, Grandma!” Gertrude greeted me.

I was wondering why Gertrude called me her grandmother when I realized

with astonishment that this must be Gertrude’s grandmother’s house, and

Gertrude thought I was her Grandma. OK, I was wearing her grandmother’s

pajamas, but it was a bit chilly in there, so I borrowed them. This was

my chance to get some bacon, so I just played along.

“Why, what big teeth you have, Grandma!” Said Gertrude.

“ I’ve been meaning to get braces.” I replied truthfully.

“Why, what big ears you have, Grandma!”

“I’m sensitive about them, don’t talk about it.” I answered.

Gertrude stared at me for a second and them shouted,

“You’re not my Grandma! You’re that weird wolf!”

Of course, she called the cops and I was sent to jail for impersonation. But

the good part is, at least they give you food in jail, and sometimes even

bacon!

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Started

16 Jan 2012

Last Post

17 Jan 2012

Tinkalila

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Posted 16 January 2012 - 07:03 PM ( #2 )

Obviously, it's not any serious writing. I typed the first things that came into my mind. It's a draft for a writing assignment for school.

Edited by Tinkalila, 16 January 2012 - 07:32 PM.


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Posted 17 January 2012 - 12:08 PM ( #3 )

Serious writing or not... I enjoyed it! :D

Tinkalila

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Posted 17 January 2012 - 05:03 PM ( #4 )

Thank you. :)