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Posted 31 March 2012 - 11:49 PM ( #1 )

This is a stupid story I just started writing today... And this is like only a little of it. It sucks and probably has tons of typos.

April 7th


“Ughh…” I keep my eyes shut, not wanting to open them. I feel no desire to get up. At all.


“Fine…” After about five more seconds of pure euphoria spent lying in the warmth that was my bed, I finally roll out, landing on my two feet and then grabbing some random clothes before heading off to the bathroom to take a shower and get ready.

For what, you ask? Well, think about it. Why would a 14 year old male get up at 6 in the morning, against his desire? It would be seriously sad if somebody couldn’t figure this out. Obviously, I’m getting ready for school. Which of course, sucks. Is there anybody in the world who actually looks forward to spending their time sitting in a classroom and listening to an old man drone on about Newton’s Laws?

Definitely not me. I only like school because I have buddies to keep me entertained.
Even if I don’t have buddies in classes, I can still bother other people anyway.

That includes chicks, of course. Unfortunately for me, the hottest chicks are always flocking around the football boys. I’ve never been the type to play football. Jumping guys is definitely not my thing, not does getting jumped by other guys my gig either. The most I can do is play baseball, and basketball, although there really isn’t a guy out there who can’t play basketball. It’s simple. All you do is dribble a ball, dodge some people, and shoot. Easy as pie.

While I’m in the shower, I close my eyes, letting the hot water dribble down on me, waking me up from my half asleep state. Man. I don’t know what I would do without hot water. I’m pretty sure I would just die. I grab some soap, and wash myself off, taking my sweet time.

Unfortunately, me being the idiot I am, I end up losing track of time. This results in me having to walk out of the bathroom twenty minutes later only to realize I have ten minutes to eat breakfast and make it to the bus stop, which is probably impossible. I decide to just grab some Chewy bars before yelling a quick “Goodbye” to my mom, shoving my earbuds in my ear, and then running out the door. Hopefully, I remembered my homework and crud.

The cold morning air hits my face as soon as I open the door, but I ignore it, jogging off as fast as I can. I make it just in time, although there are already some other people there. Unfortunately for me, I don’t really know anyone, so I simply just stand alone, waiting for the bus.

What sucks about our bus is that it’s super crowded, since it has to transport both high school kids and junior high kids, which stinks since it means we have little kids on there. I’m a little freshman, and it sucks to have to share the bus with these little kids and these old loser seniors who haven’t bothered to get their licenses. The second I turn 16, I plan to have my license ready. Because there is no way in heck I’m going to ride the bus when I can just drive. The bus shows up about a couple minutes after I arrive, and I get on.

Luckily, this isn’t the last stop, so there are still some open seats. I quickly duck into a seat in the middle, scooting right up to the window so I can stare out it and think while listening to music while waiting for my buddy Derek to show up. He’s like my only friend who actually rides this bus. The bus’s engine roars to life, and the bus continues on.

I simply just sit alone, tuning out everybody else on the bus while waiting for Derek to get on. Sadly for me, the bus is crowded today, so at the next stop, some snot nosed 6th grader sits with me. Irritated, I simply turn the music on my iPod up higher, and then I wave at Derek when he gets on. He frowns, and I shrug at him, and then he nods and sits with a little kid. The poor boy. He should really consider coming out to my bus stop so we can get on together or something. But no, he’s lazier than a sloth and always gets up late.

Then again, I do that too.

Whatever. This is going to be a long ride. Shutting my eyes, I allow my mind to wander, while Coldplay blasts through my earbuds.

Edited by Runner, 01 April 2012 - 12:17 AM.






31 Mar 2012

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03 Apr 2012


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Posted 01 April 2012 - 09:56 AM ( #2 )

Why do you think it is stupid / it sucks?

It seems to be a pretty well structured opening chapter to me. You've got an easy to read, mature style of writing and you've delivered enough info to engage interest but not so much that it becomes wordy and over descriptive.

If you're planning to write more, then I would definitely say go for it.
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Posted 03 April 2012 - 04:56 PM ( #3 )

It is amazing. Keep writing. As I've seen from the RP's I've been in with you, and from this piece, you are an amazing writer.

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