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My Romance-Free Fail Poems

poetry failure

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dazzilitchigirl

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Posted 25 May 2012 - 11:02 AM ( #1 )

*removed by Dazzmina*

I will write more when I can find something to write about I won't get an awkward silence concerning. ;)

Edited by dazzilitchigirl, 26 May 2012 - 01:53 AM.


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25 May 2012

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Eternal Mametchi Fan

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Posted 26 May 2012 - 01:56 AM ( #2 )

Hey.... I was about to read it! :angry:

dazzilitchigirl

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Posted 26 May 2012 - 02:05 AM ( #3 )

Sorry, but it was too embarrassing and I REALLY didn't want an O_O from you. I'll write some more...

The Ultimate Doomer

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Posted 27 May 2012 - 05:22 AM ( #4 )

I didn't get to read them, but if they were in fact "romance-free", they would have been the best poems ever. :)

dazzilitchigirl

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Posted 27 May 2012 - 05:32 AM ( #5 )

OK, here is some stuff I made up on the spot:

I'M NOT A KID AT HEART
Sometimes I feel like a kid your age,
Living in a world of children.
Something tells me I'm just not
Eleven years old at heart.
I see so many fault-lines
In their relationships.
I see so many backward letters
In the story of their life.
I see so many untrue words
In those secrets they speak.
They think they mean something
But really...they're priceless.
As in: Worthless.

TAMAGOTCHI
I'm sorry I used to hate you,
Can I make it up to you?
I'm sorry I didn't love you,
Can I please repay you?
I'll do anything,
If only you could talk to me.
I know you won't forgive me
But please can you try.
I made mistakes and I know it
Please can you let me try.
I killed you and abused you
I know I have no sympathy
So this is just poetry
Probably failed like everything
Everything I try to do for you...
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Eternal Mametchi Fan

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Posted 27 May 2012 - 06:39 AM ( #6 )

>8(

PLEASE write the one you wrote before about me. Please. I WILL LIKE IT, RATE THIS TOPIC 5 STARS AND FOLLOW IT! PLEEASE?

dazzilitchigirl

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Posted 28 May 2012 - 08:48 AM ( #7 )

I might send it to you privately...I wouldn't want it on the public forums. What do you think of my current stuff? ">:(" isn't an appropriate answer...
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dazzilitchigirl

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Posted 01 June 2012 - 07:14 AM ( #8 )

MY LIFE'S LIVED IN WORDS
My life's lived in words.
Words and thoughts, not feelings,
Simple letters, not complex symbols.
I can describe what others can't
Describe my feelings in words.
They ask me how I feel right now,
I can't really say.
I can only feel the basic feelings
Happiness, sadness, jealously...
The rest are words and colours
Happiness is rainbow and the word makes me shiver
Shiver with fear and desire.
Sadness is deep green, deep brownish-green
The words makes me both restless and tired.
Jealously is a shining emerald
The word shines like a jewel...
Words are pictures
Words are symbols to me.

PEOPLE ARE ANNOYING
I can't make friends, you see
I find it so hard and people avoid me.
They hate me for no apparent reason
The first day at school, I mess up.
I act friendly, I smile the most
I don't bully and I don't boast.
I don't do anything wrong
But it's as if I just don't belong.
Is it because I'm not like them?
I'll admit I'm different.
But isn't that a good thing?
I actually have an imagination
They just follow the crowd like sheep.
All identical in their faces
Their likes, their hates, and their voices.
Is the problem what I read?
What's wrong with books for teenagers,
It's not like I throw them at people!
They do not like what I draw?
I draw well, as far as I know,
It's not like they have to like it!
I know, it is what I do?
I'm friendly to my brother
Well, that's better than them!
All they do is annoy their siblings!
I'm actually different
I don't follow the crowd,
I don't believe what they force me to.

When we're in a school assembly
They tell us to say a prayer.
I see all their heads bowed down
But I'm not among them.
I don't believe in their religion
Why, is it that I must?
Why must I be just like them?
Why can't I be like ME?!


Eternal Mametchi Fan

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Posted 05 June 2012 - 12:21 AM ( #9 )

O_O

Sorry. XD
Lovely poems... But I wanna read the one about ME.

dazzilitchigirl

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Posted 05 June 2012 - 11:01 AM ( #10 )

O_O

Sorry. XD
Lovely poems... But I wanna read the one about ME.


Sorry but that O_O was really not funny to me...in fact, I find it kind of more hurtful than about twenty girls constantly mocking my accent for four days and stealing my stuff and yelling at me and swearing at me for four days, which is what just happened to me so I apologise for my bad mood and I'd better end this sentence now.

The one about you was something I wrote when I was stressed that you were leaving TT and it was just about me not wanting you to leave, not really about you.

kuchipatchi.is.blue55

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Posted 05 June 2012 - 12:11 PM ( #11 )

Your poetry is great. You obviously have a high aptitude for writing, much more talent and practice in your little finger than what some people older than you have in their whole body (I'm only basing this on people I know offline, LOL). As always, everybody, even bestselling writers, has some room to improve, and I encourage you to keep writing and improving on your work.
I think you should try different styles of poetry, like you could maybe experiment with haikus or limericks. :)
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dazzilitchigirl

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Posted 05 June 2012 - 12:30 PM ( #12 )

Your poetry is great. You obviously have a high aptitude for writing, much more talent and practice in your little finger than what some people older than you have in their whole body (I'm only basing this on people I know offline, LOL). As always, everybody, even bestselling writers, has some room to improve, and I encourage you to keep writing and improving on your work.
I think you should try different styles of poetry, like you could maybe experiment with haikus or limericks. :)


Thanks! I'm going to write a short poem now:

NOBODY CAN CHANGE ME
I will follow the path I chose,
I won't be changed by my friends or my foes.
I won't give anyone my love,
Nobody is below or above.
I will follow the path I like,
I won't share this virtual bike.
Nobody can ride down the road with me,
There are speeding cars they can't see.
I will follow the path I want,
Nobody will make this knife blunt.
It can cut through to the heart
Of any poisonous plant.
These plants are the people I meet
I can't trust no-one, it's a lesson I learned
I'm not cute and I'm not sweet,
I am me, Dazzmina, and my trust in you has burned.

Eternal Mametchi Fan

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Posted 06 June 2012 - 01:17 AM ( #13 )

Sorry but that O_O was really not funny to me...in fact, I find it kind of more hurtful than about twenty girls constantly mocking my accent for four days and stealing my stuff and yelling at me and swearing at me for four days, which is what just happened to me so I apologise for my bad mood and I'd better end this sentence now.

The one about you was something I wrote when I was stressed that you were leaving TT and it was just about me not wanting you to leave, not really about you.

Sorry. :(

... Are you going to send it to me? -_-

dazzilitchigirl

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Posted 25 June 2012 - 10:44 AM ( #14 )

I have a strong temptation just to stop writing these. No-one actually seems to like them and they just fail...but here's another one I wrote a while ago:

ONLY 11, ONLY A KID
I'm only 11, I'm only a kid.
Why shouldn't they call me stupid?
After all, my life is only a game.
Why should they ever take the blame?
I sometimes wish I was older.
Sometimes wish I was like my friends.
I sometimes wish I could just be normal.
Normal, like all the kids I know.
I sometimes wish I'd got what I wanted.
Well I have, but not in the form I wanted.
I know I can't get everything,
But it seems I can't get anything...

I DON'T UNDERSTAND...MYSELF
It started off when I was only four,
Little more than one metre tall.
It hasn't ended, and now I'm eleven
It was there when I was five, six, seven.
I always knew it, but I didn't understand
Why am I different? Am I different?
Is it an illusion that I'm not the same?
Or am I just escaping the blame?

Eternal Mametchi Fan

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Posted 26 June 2012 - 12:32 AM ( #15 )

I have a strong temptation just to stop writing these. No-one actually seems to like them and they just fail...but here's another one I wrote a while ago:

ONLY 11, ONLY A KID
I'm only 11, I'm only a kid.
Why shouldn't they call me stupid?
After all, my life is only a game.
Why should they ever take the blame?
I sometimes wish I was older.
Sometimes wish I was like my friends.
I sometimes wish I could just be normal.
Normal, like all the kids I know.
I sometimes wish I'd got what I wanted.
Well I have, but not in the form I wanted.
I know I can't get everything,
But it seems I can't get anything...

I DON'T UNDERSTAND...MYSELF
It started off when I was only four,
Little more than one metre tall.
It hasn't ended, and now I'm eleven
It was there when I was five, six, seven.
I always knew it, but I didn't understand
Why am I different? Am I different?
Is it an illusion that I'm not the same?
Or am I just escaping the blame?

Lovely. -_-

But anyway, they don't have to be called "romance-free". I mean, they're romance-free, but they're also potato-free and elephant-free and exploding zombie brains-free. So why not call them your potato-free, elephant-free, exploding zombie brains-free fail poems. XD

dazzilitchigirl

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Posted 26 June 2012 - 08:40 AM ( #16 )

Lovely. -_-

But anyway, they don't have to be called "romance-free". I mean, they're romance-free, but they're also potato-free and elephant-free and exploding zombie brains-free. So why not call them your potato-free, elephant-free, exploding zombie brains-free fail poems. XD


Please can you stop saying lovely at stuff you probably think is really stupid? Comment with the truth, I'm not easily offended.

...Most poems contain romance. Not many contain potatoes and elephants and exploding zombie brains. That pretty much explains why I called it that. :P

dazzilitchigirl

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Posted 28 June 2012 - 09:02 AM ( #17 )

TAMATALK
When no-one seems to love me
When no-one seems to care
When no-one sees my problem
TamaTalk's always there.
I always have a message
Or a notification.
I always have a reply to my topic
Or some congregation.
When nobody else seems to care
When real life's let me down
When the sadness rushes like water
I just know I won't drown.
When the real world's gone bleak
I can rely on this site to make my world bright.
My tears dry like raindrops in the sun
And everything for me comes right.
I have friends here, my true friends are here
I can forget who I am really:
A lonely 11-year-old in the middle of nowhere
Although that's what I am truly...
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Eternal Mametchi Fan

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Posted 29 June 2012 - 03:47 AM ( #18 )

Okay, okay... Some of it seems kind of baffling, but they're still really interesting poems. Good for an 11-year-old, but they could convey more meaning. Yes, I'm sure they have messages in them... It just kind of hard to get. But maybe that's just me. :P Your latest poem is cool, but it reminds me of my "Tamagotchi Poem!" thread... :huh:

dazzilitchigirl

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Posted 01 July 2012 - 11:59 AM ( #19 )

Okay, okay... Some of it seems kind of baffling, but they're still really interesting poems. Good for an 11-year-old, but they could convey more meaning. Yes, I'm sure they have messages in them... It just kind of hard to get. But maybe that's just me. :P Your latest poem is cool, but it reminds me of my "Tamagotchi Poem!" thread... :huh:


It is just you - mine is very simple and conveys its meaning more clearly than most other poetry. I guess it's just things I feel very strongly about that maybe you don't? Most of them are about how I feel different to others my age, but I don't understand how or why.
I think we feel the same way about Tamas and TamaTalk. And I know I do use your style...but I've been writing rhyming poetry in that style for years so I doubt I managed to copy you unless I'm a time-traveller. XD

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Posted 21 July 2012 - 04:18 PM ( #20 )

Nice poems! I remember, when I was eleven, I was the worst writer in the whole world. It's nice to see people taking interest in poetry and writing at a younger age! (I started a bit later, and still I find it hard to make my poetry flow.) Keep posting!
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