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Poem of Flaws


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mimitchi ^o^

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Posted 29 January 2013 - 11:29 PM ( #1 )

I was inspired by dazzilitchigirls poem.


My poem

An open book has not been read
A restless soul has long since lead
A warrior sings an open tune
A life goes by in one short moon

People are judged as time goes by
People are met with an honest lie
One hopes to never leave so simply
But captured sickness has no sympathy

A newborn bird fails to fly
A clock stops ticking as time goes by
A ready tiger has no claws
The world we know of is full of flaws

People are judged as time goes by
People are met with an honest lie
One hopes to never leave so simply
But captured sickness has no sympathy

One lost a leg. One lost an arm.
They are bullied, But it's no harm
Some fail to see what is the truth
Some lives are like an empty booth

People are judged as time goes by
People are met with an honest lie
One hopes to never leave so simply
But captured sickness has no sympathy


Replies

4

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300

Started

29 Jan 2013

Last Post

01 Feb 2013

daniinthetardis

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Posted 30 January 2013 - 02:06 AM ( #2 )

It is quite good.
I never could get the hang of poetry.

dazzilitchigirl

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Posted 01 February 2013 - 03:32 PM ( #3 )

That's way better than my poem! The meaning's not obvious, you have to think about it. All I can do is make plain sentences rhyme, but you make it seem more musical. :)

mimitchi ^o^

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Posted 01 February 2013 - 07:30 PM ( #4 )

That's way better than my poem! The meaning's not obvious, you have to think about it. All I can do is make plain sentences rhyme, but you make it seem more musical. :)

No, you have WAYY better poem skills than I do. :)

What?

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Posted 01 February 2013 - 10:57 PM ( #5 )

I like it! It could be sung as a song as well.