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Looking back on your life, what do you regret?


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SugaryGoesRAWR

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Posted 31 May 2013 - 02:54 AM ( #21 )

I regret;

Not trying hard enough in my first year of school and not doing homework

Being rude to my parents when they didn't deserve it

Finding it hard to make new friends



violetvioletchi

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Posted 01 June 2013 - 09:57 AM ( #22 )

Oh jeez, I regret so many things. I always say to keep moving forward, but really now, that just causes me to be even more ignorant.

 

Which, ignorance is the biggest thing I regret.

 

Maybe it was yet another thing out of my control...I'm super ADHD, and physically cannot focus on things for more than ten minutes or less. Usually less. Like I can't even watch a movie and understand it. People think it's funny when I mention this. Sure, it can be pretty funny; in fact, I use my ADHD to my advantage to make people laugh. But unfortunately, getting people to laugh doesn't give you good grades, and an impressed father.

 

Recently, I went to the school award ceremony. No, no, I certainly wasn't there to get an award. I was there to watch and support all my genius friends. Anyways, back to the point. Twenty Valedictorians. Twenty students had perfect grades from Freshman to Senior year. One of them even won an award for perfect attendance from Kindergarden to Senior year. I can't even begin to imagine how proud and impressed my dad would be if I was one of those people...But because I was ignorant and didn't exceed what I am physically capable of, I can't impress him. He tells me that trying your best isn't enough if you don't make it. It's the sad, honest truth.

 

I regret being blind to the truth.

Hey storyteller,

I just wanted to respond to your post because I wanted to say that academic success truly is not everything. When I was in high school (and frankly, even now) I was so obsessed with getting good grades that I failed miserably at everything else (friendships, learning how to do basic household things-I can't cook, don't know much about cleaning, can't budget money...) I'm also really bad at art even though it's something I'm passionate about. There are lots of different theories about intelligence and the main consensus is typically that school does not measure all of them. Additionally, I feel that my grades actually haven't helped me get a job at all so far. I have had two jobs, both in the restaurant industry and as a cashier, and they didn't care about my grades, it was all about experience and friendliness. Also there are lots of different types of careers out there. If your dream was to be a mathematician but it's not something that will happen, then maybe you can get a job as an assistant to a mathematician or something. There are all kinds of "support" jobs out there that are really necessary and important to society.

 

The reason your post affected me so much was because I have felt similarly, time and time again. I have really poor eyesight and almost zero physical fitness. The career field I am interested in requires good eyesight....at first it was a big blow to me but I realized that there are alternative career paths that don't have the requirement that I would also be very happy in/good at.

Best of luck <3


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Amat Gotchi

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Posted 01 June 2013 - 04:23 PM ( #23 )

violet, I agree. Our math teacher says our high school grades really DO matter, that her son got one B in high school and got a scholarship that was $2000 less than he would have gotten with all A's. Due to certain factors (financial, social, etc.), I feel like I have to keep my 4.0 GPA the whole 4 years of high school, even if it means taking easier classes or not sleeping much.

I also don't spend much time with my friends at all because of school, and afterschool activities, and homework, and everything else. They spend tons of time together, visiting each other's houses, driving each other to various places, and talking about all the things they've done. When I'm sitting right next to them, out of the loop and not sure what to say.

 

But the things I regret are:

Thinking people are one way just because of one thing they say or do.

Being offended at silly things

Telling everyone that I'll be a dermatologist when I grow up

Getting too competitive about things (especially ones I can't control)

Being very shy (especially when I was younger, but now I'm just shy around lots of people, especially if I don't know them very well)

Saying things I'm thinking about (I sound like an idiot on occasion)

Not saying things I'm thinking about (People sometimes will think I'm upset with them and giving them the cold shoulder; when actually I had a really ingenious thing to say but my mouth wouldn't open.)


Edited by Amat Gotchi, 01 June 2013 - 04:24 PM.


violetvioletchi

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Posted 01 June 2013 - 10:55 PM ( #24 )

Amat-

Ah yes, I went through a similar experience of feeling the pressure to keep my GPA high (after I got one 89.4 in middle school I gave up the all A's thing because I realized some teachers just won't give out A's...like they'll find something to hate on.) xD But yeah, the only reason I am able to attend college is because of financial aid, which I was eligible for partially because of my grades. At the same time though, it's okay to want to do your own thing at some point. A lot of my friends went to fancy colleges and I went to the local state one...I am enjoying my classes and honestly feel I am getting a good education (for a great price!) some of my friends who went to quote "better" schools don't seem to be enjoying school as much.

 

I do that even now, like I will get invited to hang out and like 80% of the time I have to say no because of school or work. It's hard but at the same time if they are truly your friends you'll still have that connection with them.

<3


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Minecraft Addict

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Posted 02 June 2013 - 07:12 PM ( #25 )

@Amat Gotchi & violetvioletchi

 

Grades never have been something for me to stress over, but I do understand what you two mean. My grades are anywhere ranging from 50%-75% but always seem to at least hit 60% before the end of the year. I guess I don't care. I have put slightly more focus on friendship but the biggest problem I faced (and probably the biggest reason for my grades) is that I spend way too much time procrastination  It's a huge regret now that I think of it. I would always play video games, work on Minecraft server setup, and whatever else possible just so I don't have to work. I'm plain old lazy. The only classes I get high marks in (high mark for me is 80%+) would be a class based around programming or Computer Tech support. I had a class named Tech Support. Best grade I received in a long time (85% to be exact) 

I hope you two can gain the skills you need for a brighter future. I know I still have a lot of gaining to do :P


Edited by Minecraft Addict, 02 June 2013 - 07:13 PM.


violetvioletchi

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Posted 03 June 2013 - 08:00 PM ( #26 )

Minecraft Addict:

I definitely wish I wasn't so obsessed with getting certain grades, because I honestly do think friendship is more important in the long run and I feel it has made me be kind of an unreliable friend. :/ I also struggle with procrastination though, I think somehow because I feel like there will always be *more* work to do. As a kid whenever I finished an assignment early my parents would be like "Cool, now work on the one for the other class..." so it felt like if I did my homework ahead of time, I'd never have time for fun. So now I just do all my fun stuff before doing the homework...Dx



Amat Gotchi

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Posted 03 June 2013 - 08:29 PM ( #27 )

Minecraft Addict:

I definitely wish I wasn't so obsessed with getting certain grades, because I honestly do think friendship is more important in the long run and I feel it has made me be kind of an unreliable friend. :/ I also struggle with procrastination though, I think somehow because I feel like there will always be *more* work to do. As a kid whenever I finished an assignment early my parents would be like "Cool, now work on the one for the other class..." so it felt like if I did my homework ahead of time, I'd never have time for fun. So now I just do all my fun stuff before doing the homework...Dx

I do the same thing. xP

I sit around posting on TamaTalk (like I'm doing now) when I could/should be finishing my bio presentation. Work never ends, I suppose.

 

New thing to regret:

Not studying for some of my finals



dazzilitchigirl

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Posted 04 June 2013 - 12:37 AM ( #28 )

I regularly leave my homework to literally the last minute. I always do it about 10 times faster than the others, so I don't need to worry...yet.

 

I guess, when it comes to school stuff, I regret not learning to write about stuff I'm not interested in. When I was younger I'd simply find a way to include dolphins in any writing I did for school. Even outside of school I wrote about dolphins. Now I can't write well about anything that I'm not interested in, causing me to get 52% on my most recent English Language exam even though I'm actually really good at English. I got 92% on my English Literature exam. A 40% difference all because I can't write about stuff I don't like. -_-


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dazzilitchigirl

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Posted 10 June 2013 - 10:24 AM ( #29 )

I know the thing I regret the most - following all that "be yourself, don't let anyone influence you" advice. "Myself" is a person nobody wants me to be, and "myself" has ended up letting people down because I didn't change while I still could. I'm the only person to blame for others not accepting me for who I am.



violetvioletchi

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Posted 10 June 2013 - 06:16 PM ( #30 )

I know the thing I regret the most - following all that "be yourself, don't let anyone influence you" advice. "Myself" is a person nobody wants me to be, and "myself" has ended up letting people down because I didn't change while I still could. I'm the only person to blame for others not accepting me for who I am.

Awh, Dazzilitchigirl ):

I'm really sorry for whatever happened/is happening to make you feel that way <3 You seem like a really nice person and I don't really think it's my place to give you advice, but what I can tell you is that the worst years of my life were the ones I spent pretending to be somebody I'm not and blaming myself for the way people treated me. <3

I hope things get better for you soon. You can PM me anytime you want to talk  <3



dazzilitchigirl

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Posted 11 June 2013 - 10:02 AM ( #31 )

Minecraft Addict:

I definitely wish I wasn't so obsessed with getting certain grades, because I honestly do think friendship is more important in the long run and I feel it has made me be kind of an unreliable friend. :/ I also struggle with procrastination though, I think somehow because I feel like there will always be *more* work to do. As a kid whenever I finished an assignment early my parents would be like "Cool, now work on the one for the other class..." so it felt like if I did my homework ahead of time, I'd never have time for fun. So now I just do all my fun stuff before doing the homework...Dx

I sometimes get too worried about my grades as well. My parents have really high expectations of me (around 95% for tests on subjects I'm really good at, around 90% for ones I'm good at, definitely As in everything except PE) and that's okay because I can meet those expectations without working hard. But when I get older the expectations won't change but the difficulty of the work will, and I don't know if I'll be able to keep up with the marks I get now.

 

Awh, Dazzilitchigirl ):

I'm really sorry for whatever happened/is happening to make you feel that way <3 You seem like a really nice person and I don't really think it's my place to give you advice, but what I can tell you is that the worst years of my life were the ones I spent pretending to be somebody I'm not and blaming myself for the way people treated me. <3

I hope things get better for you soon. You can PM me anytime you want to talk  <3

Thanks...but I think people have good reasons for not accepting me. They do it "for my own good". Or because they think when you turn 18 you are instantly enabled to have feelings - which is what most people seem to believe. So instead of ending up getting made fun of by teenagers or adults, I just pretend I don't have any opinions beyond my favourite book or whatever. That's the short explanation of what happened to make me feel that way.

 

EDIT: That sounded really silly and insignificant, but that's just the simple way of explaining it and I'm not making a big deal out of nothing.


Edited by dazzilitchigirl, 12 June 2013 - 10:25 AM.


x.//StoryTeller//.x

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Posted 11 June 2013 - 11:43 PM ( #32 )

I know the thing I regret the most - following all that "be yourself, don't let anyone influence you" advice. "Myself" is a person nobody wants me to be, and "myself" has ended up letting people down because I didn't change while I still could. I'm the only person to blame for others not accepting me for who I am.

 

Oh, dude. Following that "be yourself" stuff is what you should do. I promise. If you try to be fake, others may be pleased by your facade, but you won't. It's hard to keep up a facade. If you be yourself, there is a chance that many won't approve, and trust me, I know that feeling. But there will always be someone out there that will approve and embrace who you are. You'll be much happier getting to be yourself. It may take some time, but the wait is so worth it.

 

You're a wonderful person. I approve. Embrace your natural-ness. ♥


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violetvioletchi

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Posted 13 June 2013 - 11:49 AM ( #33 )

I sometimes get too worried about my grades as well. My parents have really high expectations of me (around 95% for tests on subjects I'm really good at, around 90% for ones I'm good at, definitely As in everything except PE) and that's okay because I can meet those expectations without working hard. But when I get older the expectations won't change but the difficulty of the work will, and I don't know if I'll be able to keep up with the marks I get now.

 

Thanks...but I think people have good reasons for not accepting me. They do it "for my own good". Or because they think when you turn 18 you are instantly enabled to have feelings - which is what most people seem to believe. So instead of ending up getting made fun of by teenagers or adults, I just pretend I don't have any opinions beyond my favourite book or whatever. That's the short explanation of what happened to make me feel that way.

 

EDIT: That sounded really silly and insignificant, but that's just the simple way of explaining it and I'm not making a big deal out of nothing.

I can't remember whether you live in the US or not, but if it helps I can say that in my experience at university, it's more about study habits...if you have those strong study habits as well as being able to comprehend what you read quickly, it will be easier to succeed at university. Another tip would be to take advantage of the many resources most universities have, such as free tutoring in subjects that can be difficult.//

Oh dear. I'm sorry that you get treated that way. ): I remember feeling similarly before I turned 18 (to be honest I still feel like that sometimes). I feel like sometimes older adults don't take people seriously or they think everything is just a "phase" or we're being "overdramatic" or we simply don't know what we're talking about, which is a huge rude assumption. Just because we're young doesn't make our knowledge and opinions and feelings invalid. //

Not to worry, I'm not the type to pass judgment on people's feelings or experiences <3



dazzilitchigirl

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Posted 14 June 2013 - 11:14 AM ( #34 )

Oh, dude. Following that "be yourself" stuff is what you should do. I promise. If you try to be fake, others may be pleased by your facade, but you won't. It's hard to keep up a facade. If you be yourself, there is a chance that many won't approve, and trust me, I know that feeling. But there will always be someone out there that will approve and embrace who you are. You'll be much happier getting to be yourself. It may take some time, but the wait is so worth it.

 

You're a wonderful person. I approve. Embrace your natural-ness. ♥

 

I can't remember whether you live in the US or not, but if it helps I can say that in my experience at university, it's more about study habits...if you have those strong study habits as well as being able to comprehend what you read quickly, it will be easier to succeed at university. Another tip would be to take advantage of the many resources most universities have, such as free tutoring in subjects that can be difficult.//

Oh dear. I'm sorry that you get treated that way. ): I remember feeling similarly before I turned 18 (to be honest I still feel like that sometimes). I feel like sometimes older adults don't take people seriously or they think everything is just a "phase" or we're being "overdramatic" or we simply don't know what we're talking about, which is a huge rude assumption. Just because we're young doesn't make our knowledge and opinions and feelings invalid. //

Not to worry, I'm not the type to pass judgment on people's feelings or experiences <3

Sorry, I can't think of a response to your posts...just, thanks for being sympathetic and not making fun of me like most people probably would have. Every time I tried to write a response, it just ended up being stuff I shouldn't really put on the internet where anyone can see it. I'll just say, I do know when things will get better for me, but it's not any time soon. I'm not allowed to be myself, the same way I'm not allowed to go on my phone at night or go on the computer for more than 2 hours a day.



.bloopy

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Posted 19 June 2013 - 11:14 PM ( #35 )

> the entire year of 2010

 

Seriously though who doesn't regret their decisions in 2010.

But in all realness I mostly regret not taking chances. And not talking to someone I like when I could have.

 

I also regret some certain phases of my life that involve certain fandoms which I refuse to name :B