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Just some poems I've written.

poems

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idkhaha

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Posted 05 September 2013 - 04:23 PM ( #1 )

So, I've written poems, and I just want to share a couple and get some feedback. One is kind of depressing, the other one isn't, though. So, tell me what you think, but please don't be rude about it, these are important to me. Thanks. 

 

(My depression was bad when I wrote this, but I'm much happier now)

 

Drowning in my dreams, 

They won't take form tonight. 

My dreams of you and I. 

Still, I wish for them. 

Painfully, I know they're empty. 

Not coming alive, again. 

Dying still inside. 

A little more each night. 

I'm sorry that I took your time. 

I'm sorry that you've taken away, 

The person I was. 

I could have been enough, 

If you'd given me the chance. 

I could have been enough. 

 

(Now, for a better one, haha!)

 

As the embers slowly die out, 

The sky slowly fades into darkness. 

The essence of you and I, 

Still lingering. 

Something is telling me, 

You're the one. 

Months go by, 

Day by day. 

I wish for nothing more, 

Than to see you smile. 

Love is growing between us, 

Nothing greater than this. 

This is what I long for. 

Your affectionate love. 

It's you and I together, 

Fighting for what we believe in. 

Just you and I. 

 

 



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Started

05 Sep 2013

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06 Sep 2013

Amat Gotchi

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Posted 06 September 2013 - 09:12 PM ( #2 )

I can really relate to the first one (especially) and the second one too. I've felt exactly the same.

They're really well-written, I like your word choice!






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