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Poem: Can You See Me Now?

poetry sadness depression

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Posted 28 January 2014 - 07:43 PM ( #1 )

Can you see me now?

Isn’t this what you wanted?

That’s what I thought so I tried so hard

But now you look so haunted.

I just wanted to please you

And make you see me for me.

But you refuse to glance my way

And when I approach you flee.


Does it burn?

Does it hurt you inside?

That I have found so easily

What you could never find.


These Friends? This boy?

The acceptance you crave so much?

It is not to me what it may seem.

It’s my distraction. It’s my crutch.

It is something I would gladly trade

For just one glance from you.

To know that you missed me

Even half as much as I miss you.


But that will never happen

Because to you I am no longer here.

When you glance in my direction

Your face has only a blank stare.


But I have done what you asked.

I have tried my best.

I know it’s still not good enough

But I am working on the rest.

So look my way just once.

Show me that I’m real.

You are so filled with anger

But I know there’s more you feel.


So get off that mighty throne of yours.

Take off that gaudy crown.

Look down at all the things I do

And tell me…


Can you see me now?




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28 Jan 2014

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30 Jan 2014


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Posted 29 January 2014 - 07:11 AM ( #2 )

I really like this poem.


The cadence is comfortable and your use of assonance works well.  It reads like the kind of poem I would expect to find published in a poetry collection. :)

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Posted 29 January 2014 - 06:58 PM ( #3 )

I love that. It warmed my heart. The poem gives a feeling and sets the mood and tone.


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Posted 30 January 2014 - 06:50 AM ( #4 )

I don't understand it, nor do I relate to it. I'm sure it's good but all I see is a bunch of sentences that happen to rhyme. I don't get the meaning, but at least I can say it has good rhyming. :P

Also tagged with one or more of these keywords: poetry, sadness, depression