The Life of Doggie Biscuit and Egg

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Doggie Biscuit

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Sep 7, 2015
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Location
Burnaby, BC, Canada
-The Life of Doggie Biscuit and Egg-
1. Doggie Biscuit

Hi, my name is Doggie Biscuit, and I am a female Malti-Westie-Shih-Poo (a mixture of Maltese, West Highland White Terrier, Shih Tzu, and Poodle). That photo is me! See how cute I am? Having connections within PETA, I pre-ordered a pair of 3D-printed polymer opposable thumbs, enabling me to play Tamagotchi! If you don't believe the part about the thumbs, just Google "peta opposable thumbs for dogs". Anyways, my male human bought me a Silver Blue Tamagotchi Friends device. The device was handed to my human, and the person who gave it to him said: "Here are the three eggs you are eligible to choose from for this device. They are all vacuum frozen for a few days already, and when thawed, it will hatch in around a minute." I grabbed the one closest to me, which happened to be the striped one. The guy at the counter wrapped the egg and the device in a package.

Back home, I sat on my haunches and stared at the egg. After exactly sixty seconds, it burst open. I howled. The baby thing was a fluffy blue cloud, with two eyes, a pink mouth, and two stubby little... um... arms, or legs. The device beeped. On the screen, it said "Aokumotchi". It was pretty cute, but it would grow into something else, so I couldn't just call it Aokumotchi. "I'm going to call you Egg," I announced.

2. Egg

The first thing I can ever remember is darkness. Total darkness, without a hint of light, was how my life began. I tilted my head, and it hit something brittle. I somehow felt that I should push, and I did. A fissure appeared, and with it there was light. Light! I stretched towards the beautiful and terrifying brightness, and all at once, some thing shattered, and I stood wonderingly in the light. Then, I heard the first words in my life: "I'm going to call you Egg."

One thing about us Tamagotchis is that we, like baby chickens and ducks, imprint. This means that we will be loyal to our first master at birth for life, unless we are mistreated. Therefore, the first thing I saw, a drop-eared, cream coloured, furry creature emitting those words and staring at me, had already become my only leader ever since.

 
3. Doggie Biscuit

So, this is Egg so far; I've been taking good care of him. He ate a lot of bread, and we went to the arcade. I sucked at Driving and din't get Dancing, but I did pretty good for Find Ice Cream. We bought some baked potatoes and went home. I turned on my computer. "Let's get a prize, Egg!" I yipped. Egg beeped. I entered three tickets and got a muffin. "All right," I exclaimed. "let's take a look at your life cycle." I went to www.tamatalk.com and found a Tamagotchi Friends growth chart. "So... you're going to randomly evolve into Mitsumarutchi or Turtletchi, right?"

Egg had already fallen asleep.

4. Egg

I fell asleep for the first time. I wondered what would happen...

 
5. Doggie Biscuit

The next morning, Egg looked like this: red, with black sections and three very cute little spots.

The device beeped. On the screen, it read Mitsumarutchi. "You're still cute!" I enthused. "Awesome!"

6. Egg

I really felt different. I now had ears and four limbs, but I couldn't climb onto Doggie Biscuit's desk as easily. She went online again. "Aw, crap," she groaned. "You can't breed because you'll leave and die somewhere. Oh yeah, I hope I take good enough care of you for you into grow into Cosmotchi!

 
7. Doggie Biscuit

Egg was now 18 pounds, and he couldn't get on my desk anymore. However, we could fit on the same chair together, and that's how I kept researching facts about him. "I'd love you no matter what you grow into," I told him, "but it'd be really good to own a Cosmotchi." Egg beeped happily. We went to the arcade for around 5 hours, came home, and promptly fell asleep.

8.Egg

I wanted to make Doggie Biscuit proud. I silently decided to grow into Cosmotchi no matter how she treated me.

 
9. Doggie Biscuit

Guess what? Egg really did turn into Cosmotchi! "Nice!" I yipped. "I hope you turn into a Perfect Care adult. That is, Mametchi, Righttchi, or Knighttchi. But as I said, I'll love you no matter what you look like." I laughed as Egg toppled over because his halo was too heavy. We went to the arcade. Again. And again. And--again. Then we went to the park. Egg seemed to be more comfortable playing with other Tamagotchis now.

10. Egg

Now my eyes were really beautiful. They sparkled! Also, I had an awesome colour scheme, and a cool halo. Unfortunately, it was a bit too heavy, but ah, who cares. It was cool, that was what mattered. I met Nandetchi at the park and had second thoughts about just living alone with Doggie Biscuit forever.

 
11. Doggie Biscuit

Guess what! Egg really did turn into a Perfect Care adult! He was a Righttchi now. I knew that he would stay like that for the rest of his life. His visor is really cool; so is his yellow stripe. He looked at me and winked. He could wink now! I winked back and laughed.

12. Egg

I was still only two. I mean, it wasn't like I wanted to marry or anything, but today I saw a girl at Find Ice Cream in the arcade and she looked pretty cute...

 
13. Doggie Biscuit

Egg didn't change much all the way to ten. He could've married long ago, but then he would die soon after that. I didn't know what to do.

"What would you do, Egg?" I pondered.

But Egg only beeped.

14. Egg

I seriously couldn't decide: would I we willing to leave Doggie Biscuit forever to have a child? Doggie Biscuit, of course, said it was okay, but I thought she was just saying that to make me feel better.

 
15. Doggie Biscuit

This morning, I woke up to find Egg in a terrible state. His beeping was irregular and his face was contorted into a strange expression. Egg had never been sick before, and I didn't know what to do. There was a suitcase besides him, and inside was all the precious memorabilia he had during his short life. The buttons on the device wouldn't work.

There was only one option left. I severed the power from the device.

16. Egg

Bibibip bibibip... beep... bibup...



Bi...

 
17. Doggie Biscuit

I had insomnia that night, thinking about Egg. Instead of grieving and writing an epitome, I was bent on getting him back. He was in Limbo right now, neither alive or dead.

I was gonna bust him outta there.

 

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