Step by Step - A Tamagotchi Log (comments OK)

[skyyoyo]

Hi! A little while back, I created a log for a P1 rerelease tama that I ran. I enjoyed writing it so I thought I'd share it with all of you to enjoy as well. I'm planning to post once a day so it's not a huge block of text

Day 1 -- Sunday
I'm not even sure why I decided to start now, sprawled out on my bed surrounded by three different homework assignments. It's been a few months since I quit my job, moved hours away from my family, and went back to college for graduate school. At this point, it feels like I should have got things figured out, but it seems like life had other plans. Between spraining my toe (I fell down the stairs), slicing my thumb open on a tuna can (at least the stitches are out now), mysterious joint pain, and having nothing but my thoughts to keep me company in this 1-bedroom apartment, maybe it's no wonder I got my P1 rerelease out of a box of electronic things I stuffed in my closet and forgot about. After changing the batteries and hitting the reset button, I jumped at the loud beep that resounded through my apartment, the loudest sound to come from my apartment since I fell down the stairs in a tumbleweed of confusion.
At first, the thoughts of "I am way too busy for this" continued. I tried watching recorded lectures from the past week, but little Muffin (that's what I decided to name him -- mainly because it was the first thing I thought of) required my attention every five minutes or so. In the last 30 minutes however, I decided to take a little break from my homework to get him through the baby stage. Now he's a child and much more manageable to take care of, though he still requires a decent amount of attention.
When he went to bed at 8PM, I planned to be awake for a while longer since my classes on Monday were in the evening. Lately, I'd been going to bed well past midnight, which didn't bode well for Muffin's 9AM wakeup time. So, pushing away the fear of tossing and turning into the night, I actually went to bed at a reasonable time...

Stay tuned for more updates!

 

[skyyoyo]

Day 2 -- Monday

I woke up a few minutes before Muffin. Whenever I decide to wake up for something (like going on a trip or attending an early virtual meeting) I usually seem to wake up without an alarm (though I set one just in case). It seems "Muffin's wakeup time" and "Zoom meeting for my job" held the same importance in my brain. Not that I mind, since it ended up being a productive morning! Recently, I've been spending a lot of time in bed before I get up, wasting away an hour on social media before I actually get up. But the inability to see Muffin's screen in my dark bedroom forced me to get out of bed and get somewhere light. Monday during the day was quite similar to Sunday since I was just doing homework still. But as day turned to night, it was time for me to set out with Muffin for the first time. We boarded the bus and headed over to campus.
I've done this trip dozens of times, but this was one of the more eventful ones. To avoid turning this into a poop-story, let's just say the pasta sauce I had for lunch definitely didn't agree with me. I hopped off the bus early, hobbling my way to a public bathroom I know of. My saving grace was deep breathing, focusing on one step after another, and playing constant games of "left or right" even though Muffin was already at 4 happiness hearts. Before I knew it, I made it to the bathroom, victorious! Unfortunately, that meant I now had to walk the rest of the way to class. And that's the story of Muffin and I's first true adventure!
At this point I wasn't sure if I wanted to play with pausing or not. But, for some unknown reason, the university thought it was a good idea to do 2.5-hour grad-school classes one day a week, instead of spreading them out into shorter sessions 2-3 times a week like normal classes. I eventually decided it would be better to pause since I was worried Muffin would become randomly ill and pass away somewhere in the 2.5 hour marathon that was my evening Monday class. And besides, I really needed to focus, since I was pretty unfamiliar with the material. But thanks to the reading ahead I was able to do over the weekend, I was able to keep up with the class for today. It felt wrong to advance Muffin's clock, so I let him stay awake until 10:30 instead of the usual 8, and then advanced the clock back to normal after he had fallen asleep.

 

[skyyoyo]

Day 4 -- Wednesday
I was woken up this morning by a loud beeping from Muffin, and saw that he had evolved into the good teenager! I was totally exhausted after yesterday, where I had an early morning class and a handful of makeup work to do for a class I enrolled in at the last second. But Wednesday is my "catch-up" day, so hopefully things will be calm today. Muffin joined me as I washed my dishes, did my laundry, and swept up all outside grime I've been tracking in on my shoes. After I was done, I realized I had almost no food and needed to go grocery shopping. I had been putting it off because of my toe and being afraid of injuring it more, but according to the internet it should be fine to at least walk with. So I set out, one careful step after another, to the grocery store.
The trip mostly consisted of carefully focusing on one step after another, and failing "left or right" with a frequency yet unseen by vintage tama players. But, I made it, and with Muffin in hand, I grabbed a cart and went into the store. I was able to make it through to checkout when something caught my eye. Usually I'm not a fan of scratch-off tickets, but I had actually picked up a few that I had been meaning to redeem last year, meaning I had $8 to spend. And Muffin had just evolved that morning, why not celebrate? Then what pushed me over the edge was that the machine had a $1 ticket that was 8-bit! I ended up spending $4 on 8-bit tickets, and the other $4 on various other $1 tickets. But before I could get comfortable and see if Muffin was a big winner, I needed to get me and my 3 reusable bags of groceries home.
At first, everything was fine. One step after another, occasionally checking Muffin's status screen to top up his hearts. But suddenly things turned for the worse as pain shot through my ankle. My toe had been a concern recently, but my ankles were also constantly giving me problems as well over the past year. Clutching Muffin tightly, I limped my way back to the apartment building, which was thankfully close at this point. By the time I had got up the elevator and into my room, the pain was subsiding. But, I took some ice out of the freezer anyways and decided to elevate it. Usually I would be obsessing about if I would be able to make it to class tomorrow, but Muffin and I had some money to win! Muffin won a free $1 ticket on one of the 8-bit ones and I won $5 on one of the 4 others! Looks like we have another few scratch-offs to play on our next grocery run! Distracted by the excitement of my newfound $6, I stood up to make dinner and found my ankle was feeling much better. If not for Muffin and wanting to celebrate him evolving a little, I might have just taken the $8, but the distraction proved to be just what I needed.

 

[skyyoyo]

Day 5&6 -- Thursday and Friday
On Thursdays I have class at a brutal 8AM. Combine that with needing to make breakfast, lunch, taking a shower, doing some morning stretches, and catching a bus, means I need to be awake at 6:15. Meanwhile, Muffin blissfully sleeps until 9AM and my class ends at 9:15, meaning no pausing necessary! After class I headed over to the research lab where I do my work. As a graduate student, I have an office cube in a building down the street where I can do homework or research. Everyone else in my lab (about 20ish people) has a cube in there as well, and sometimes it feels more home-y than my apartment, since there's people coming and going to chat with. I get into the lab and find a thumbtack to push into the mesh wall of my cubicle, so I can hang Muffin up by his chain. He sits there as I work on some homework and other things throughout the day. He is mostly quiet, and most people don't notice him because of the way my cube wall is facing, so it ends up being a pretty quiet day.
Friday ends up being a pretty quiet day as well, just Muffin sitting on my desk at home as I do homework. I have no classes on Friday so I don't end up going onto campus because of the hassle of taking the bus.
The main thing I do is go to physical therapy. My joints have always been trouble so I got an appointment to get my elbows looked at. Muffin, of course, comes along too. I'm not sure about this PT person though, they seem super busy and it seems like I might be a little self guided...

 

[skyyoyo]

Missed a few days from being busy but I'm back!

Day 7 -- Saturday
I knew today was going to be a special day. From what I'd experienced, most tamas evolved into adults on day 7. So, I was extra vigilant, since I hadn't seen the pre-evolution sickness that I often experienced with vintage tamagotchis. I figured that if today was going to be a special day, we should go out and do something special! I had always wanted to go to the nearby zoo and look at the birds, but I was nervous about my ankles ruining the experience. But I told myself that I could always go again, or just sit on a bench and look at the birds from afar, and that I owe it to Muffin to experience as much as we can while he's around. So I hopped on the bus and went, anixously checking the screen along the way to see when he would evolve.
At the zoo we saw all kinds of birds, from tropical rainforest ones to flamingoes, pelicans, and penguins. Muffin must have especially liked the penguins since he evolved while we were there! At first I was very confused, since he looked like a tamagotchi I'd never seen before: black little shoes and a frowny face with two little white horns bobbing back and forth. But I soon realized I had been holding the tamagotchi upside down and it was actually mametchi! We went off to watch the employees feed the terns (a kind of shorebird) and they grabbed the fish right out of their hands without landing, which was cool to see. The rainforest birds were able to catch their food midair, while the toucan leisurely enjoyed some grapes on a nearby branch. Afterwards, we got some chicken at a nearby place and headed back. I was so exhausted that I fell asleep around 6, but I guess Muffin wasn't tired since he stayed awake the whole time. But he went to bed around 10PM, and that left just me in my apartment to make dinner and go to bed for real this time.
I feel like a fear of "not being able to really enjoy things" ends up stopping me a lot from doing things I enjoy. Maybe that's why it's been years since I ran my last tama. I'm always looking for the "perfect" time to do things: When I don't have homework, when I don't have tests, when my joints don't hurt. But, maybe, the "perfect" time isn't some magical time when everything works out perfectly. Maybe the perfect time to do something is just when you see that there could be good and take a chance, and accept any bad that might come along with it. When you look at it that way, I think Muffin came along at the perfect time.

 

[Matches]

I agree a lot with your sentiments about the “perfect time”. If we keep waiting for the perfect time, we’ll never do anything fun! I’m glad you took the chance and enjoyed your time at the zoo. ^^

 

[skyyoyo]

Glad you found it relatable One of the main reasons I started posting this was to kind of explore how I was feeling about different things see if anyone else felt the same way at times.

Been missing days and the next two entries were short, so here they are!

Day 8 -- Sunday
Sunday was a pretty quiet day. After being out and about all of yesterday, it was nice. Muffin is really low maitenance now, since I don't have to worry too much about perfect care anymore. But that doesn't stop me from filling up his hearts any time he gets down to three! Today I was mostly doing stuff around the apartment: laundry, dishwashing, stuff like that. I made pasta for dinner tonight and finally got it right for once! I got a big pot because my old one would overflow any time I tried to make a full box of pasta, but I always put too much water in the big pot and it never actually boils. Waiting for the pot to boil may be one of the few occasions I don't mind losing left-or-right a few times, since it helps pass the time. Not that Muffin really needs it, since his hearts drop pretty slow these days. After he went to sleep, I continued studying math into the night. Maybe I should have started earlier since he might have wanted to join me... oops. Mametchis like math I think?

Day 9 -- Monday
Monday morning was mostly a continuation of last night, getting ready for my classes. As I made my way to class, something caught my eye though. There was a flyer for a "soldering" class. Soldering is when you take a hot piece of metal, and melt down this easily-meltable metal to "glue" electronic parts together. After the past few days, I decided that I wanted to give it a try! So I filled out the google form on the spot and headed off to class.
Class was brutal today: two and a half hours with no breaks! But I'm glad I did all the prep beforehand so I was able to keep up. I was so exhausted afterwards that I didn't really get to check on Muffin until he fell asleep. Then I saw something terrible: a poop I never flushed away! I was NOT going to let that poop stay, so I reset the clock back five minutes, flushed the poop, and then turned out the lights. Crisis averted!

 

[skyyoyo]

Day 11 -- Tuesday
Or so I thought... you may have noticed that I skipped day 10 in my numbering. It's actually not a mistake, it's just that in resetting the clock back five minutes to flush the poop, I must have advanced the clock an additional day! I'm hoping it's not that big a deal and I didn't get a care mistake or something.
After that, I headed back to the lab and worked most of the day. Muffin hung on the thumbtack in my cubicle wall all day, just watching along. One thing that's been going on that I haven't been mentioning is that I've been keeping up with my physical therapy stretches. I guess it's good that I've been able to do them multiple times a day, but the pain has been growing because of it. The kind of pain in my elbows can really take it out of me, because I can't even distract myself with video games or reading stuff on my phone without them hurting. Here's to hoping they'll feel better tomorrow!

Day 12 -- Wednesday
Ow. Ow. Ow.
I can't believe it. It's so much worse. Even trying to press the buttons on Muffin is making my wrists and elbows hurt. All I want to do is lie on my bed in a ball of pain and wait for things to subside In the morning I thought that things had got a little better, but after some working on my computer I realized things were going downhill. And of course, the soldering class is today! I don't know what I'll do, it hurts to hold a pencil, nevermind a soldering iron. I guess Muffin isn't feeling too hot either, since he just got sick randomly. Although after some research it turns out that's expected, and not the result of me accidentally removing a day from his life. Although the online source said I should keep an eye out for day 15, so I'll be cautious of that.
I've been thinking about what I wrote back on Saturday, about it not being the "right time" to do things. I was really looking forward to learning how to solder. But I'm worried I won't be able to do it for more reasons than one.
I remember when I was back in high school, we had an assignment to teach us how to use this device to measure electricity called a multimeter. The teacher had to watch us use it correctly before we were allowed to go off on our own and use it. I remember trying to use the probes, and the teacher screaming at me, ripping the multimeter out of my hands, and writing "FAIL" on my little paper that said if I was allowed to use the multimeter by myself or not. Since then, I've been more than a little afraid that I'll somehow explode any electronic component that I put my hands on.
But this time is going to be different! And even if there's a chance it isn't... I want to believe things will work out. I took some Advil and headed out the door.
I headed into the room a little early. I wasn't sure where everyone was going to gather, so I stuck to the sides. Once I saw them come in, there was no close seats except the VERY front. At least I was first in line to pick up my equipment! I got all my electronic parts and settled in. At this point, the pain was still there, but the Advil combined with the anticipation was definitely helping me ignore it. I started soldering my parts onto the computer board one by one, enjoying how relaxing it was. The goal was to create a circuit board that had two lights and a speaker, that flashed the lights and made sounds when a battery was put in. I fully expected my board to not work, but when I was given the battery to test it I got blaring sirens and flashing lights! Perfect... another noisemaking friend for Muffin...
As I got back, the Advil started to wear off, but the pain wasn't as bad as before. Before I left, I thought the best course of action was to let the pain subside by being as still as possible. But all that stillness led to was rumination and more pain. Taking some painkillers and getting out ended up really being the way to feeling better. And, I had successfully put together my very own circuit board! Maybe this is the start of something I'll really enjoy.

 

[skyyoyo]

Day 13 -- Thursday
Today was another quiet day in the office. Muffin has taken up residence on my wall again, and now my coworker two cubes down asks how he's doing from time to time. I really ought to do more stuff with the people from the lab sometime. They actually started an intramural sports team, but of course with all my injuries I can't join... yet!
By the time I get home, I'm once again exhausted, but at least not in much pain. I flop down on the couch and begin surfing YouTube. That's when I realize Muffin isnt in my pockets or next to me. Thinking he must have fallen in the couch, I start to turn over all the cushions and look for him. I almost wish he would misbehave and call out so I can find him... until I find him in my coat pocket. As I was searching, I thought about what would happen if I had lost him... slowly losing hearts, eventually passing away. I haven't even really thought about Muffin passing, but it's bound to happen eventually. I'll just have to look out for Day 15, where apparently he'll get sick and I'll need to cure him in time.

Day 14 -- Friday
I finally got back to the physical therapist today in the morning. Unfortunately, they seem as detached as ever. She has a badge that says "supervisor", so I assume she's really busy working on paperwork or something like that? But still, strengthening is strengthening so as long as she gives me the stretches I'll keep doing them.
Right next to the physical therapist is the grocery store, which is great, because I was running out of food and needed to go anyways. I grab some food and see the scratch-off machine at the door, just to remember that I didn't bring the winners from last time to get more. I get 2 $1 anyways, the 8-bit ones Muffin likes. Back at home, they're both losers. It seems my left-or-right luck is about as good as my scratch-off luck. I get ready to head out to the lab to be productive... and immediately fall asleep. I guess getting only a few hours of sleep and waking up at 6am the past 2 days finally caught up to me. I think I'll try and do something fun tomorrow, it's the weekend after all. But not before I make sure Muffin is ok from his Day 15 sickness.

 

[skyyoyo]

Day 15 -- Saturday
The time I assumed he would get sick was sometime between 1:50 and 2:00. I was assuming this because that's when he seemed to get sick. In the morning I worked on some homework, as the time drew closer and closer. At 1:40 I couldn't focus, and my heart started beating faster. I couldn't let this be the end, not yet. At 1:50 I had decided to take a break from my work and devote all my time to starting at Muffin. He's going to get sick, but I'm going to be here to cure him!
1:55... the minutes passing like hours...
1:57... any minute now...
2:00... I must have made a mistake... maybe it was actually a little after 2?
2:05... still watching closely...
Then, it happened. At 2:10, Muffin's eyes narrow. He shakes slightly from left to right. I ready my fingers, for the fastest medicine administration tama-kind has ever seen...
He poops.
I sweated for the past half hour, to watch Muffin poop. Of course, I cleaned it up right away. Part of me decides to stay vigilant until 2:30 at least, just to make sure, when the phone rings.
It's my older brother. We talk fairly often, but I hadn't got the chance to talk one-on-one in a month or so. Before I knew it, it was 4:30, and Muffin still hadn't got sick. I guess the website was wrong? Maybe the re-releases worked differently? But as I think about it, what happened isn't all that different from what happened on Wednesday. I tortured myself with rumination, and the thing that ended up snapping me out of it and making me feel better was stepping away, even when it seemed like a bad idea. I find it strange that someone hasn't completely decoded the rerelease tamagotchi code to understand exactly what happens, but at the same time, I think I like it. It makes for situations like this, where you can understand yourself a little better from having gone through them.

 

[skyyoyo]

Day 16&17 -- Sunday and Monday
Despite the personal revelations, I still watched Muffin closely for any illness throughout Sunday. He didn't get sick all day. I decided in the morning to go for a little walk, since the days where I just stay in my apartment all day end up being the worst mentally. I also ran out of paper towels, so that's a good reason for getting out. On the way to the store, I pass a "kawaii" store with all kinds of cute plushies! I always told myself I'd go there, but I still hadn't yet, until today. I went in to look for some tamagotchi stuff, but they didn't seem to have any
Even though Muffin didn't get sick, his hearts do seem to be dropping faster. It looks like it's a little over an hour now, which is still very manageable.
During Monday, his hearts definitely started dropping noticeably faster. Now he's down to a little under an hour per heart. It was a pretty average Monday, getting ready for class and doing my stretches, so I thought I'd fit it in here as well.

 

[skyyoyo]

Day 18&19 -- Tuesday and Wednesday
It looks like Muffin's hearts are dropping even faster now... 30 minutes per heart. So far, it isn't too bad, but it makes me think of my last tamagotchi who died 24 hours after when the timer got to 15 minutes. With what looks like the end in sight, I've been looking back at the beginning of this journey. I had all kinds of concerns about my classes, my injury from falling down the stairs, and just the general stress of school and studying. But now, it feels like some of those concerns have been replaced with new ones. I've been scrambling to figure out a group project where my initial idea fell though, for example. It puts some of my concerns into perspective to see how they've come and gone in a little under three weeks, which isn't a long time at all.
On Wednesday I talked with a lot of my classmates in the lab, and they helped me figure out what to do with my project. I'm feeling better, which is good, since I didn't really sleep too well Tuesday night. I ended up freezing Muffin's clock for an hour so he could sleep in as well. He's is still hanging in there (literally, from the thumbtack in my cubicle) at 30 minutes per heart. I also went to physical therapy (I still haven't seen much improvement...) and grocery shopping again, and this time I remembered to bring the winning scratch offs! So we were able to get $6 worth of tickets this time. One had $2, but the rest were losers. Well, the back of the ticket said the odds were 1 in 4 so I guess that makes sense...

 

[skyyoyo]

Day 20 -- Thursday
I was back in the lab/office most of the day today. But on Thursdays we have a general meeting, so most of the people were in the lab instead of working remotely. I haven't gone yet this semester, but this time I decided to head out to lunch with a few people. It was nice to see them outside the office, but after I got back I realized I had completely ignored Muffin! I reached into my pocket, fully expecting him to be dead. But somehow he was still alive, albeit with the attention light on. I must have got a few care mistakes from that one. And to make matters worse, he now loses a heart every fifteen minutes. It wouldn't be an issue if this didn't mean I had to win left-or-right once every fifteen minutes. Recently, I've just started blindly mashing one direction under the table while I read notes for a minute or two, and assume that I've won at least once by the time my finger gets tired.

Day 21 -- Friday
I guess walking to lunch yesterday caught up with me, because this morning I can hardly get around my apartment. It's frustrating how easily things seem to fall apart for my joints, after weeks of being careful and stretching. Muffin was also feeling under the weather today, but I think I caught his illness pretty early. I've decided for the sake of my sanity that I can't play left-or-right every 15 minutes, so when he's down to 1 heart, I'll do a snack for one of them and left-or-right for the other two. Losses still take away one weight point, so hopefully this will keep Muffin's weight in check. I was really hoping to get out one last weekend with Muffin, since I'm doubting he'll make it to next weekend, but it looks like that might not happen.

 

[skyyoyo]

Day 22 -- Saturday
My foot is feeling a little better, but it looks like it should be another slow day. At least I have Muffin to keep me company. He's very needy now, so the main way he keeps me company is by beeping every hour to play games and eat tasty bread. I was thinking of making an appointment at the urgent care for my (possibly sprained) toe, but I have physical therapy on Monday, so I'll just wait until then. It's not like I can really go anywhere for now. I made a feast for dinner that included various frozen foods! Unfortunately while cutting little potatoes I sliced my thumb once again. It made me think of how all the way back on day 1, I mentioned that I had sliced my thumb open and needed stitches (this time a band-aid did the trick). It really feels like it's been a long time since I started this journey. I figured it would be fun to have a bag of things to remember Muffin by, so I decided to grab something from all the activities we did over the past few weeks (a map from the zoo, one of the (many) losing scratch-off tickets, a ticket to a basketball game I went to last Saturday, and the practice soldering board). Now I'm off to sleep so I can get an early start tomorrow.

 

[skyyoyo]

Day 23 -- Sunday
I woke up early to get started on the work I had to do, and I actually got through a good chunk of studying. I was feeling pretty cautious today because I remembered my last tamagotchi also passed away at age 23. I have a picture from right around when it died, so I know he died sometime around noon. So as noon came and went, I thought to myself that I'd set a new personal best! My shoulder was feeling weird from writing all morning, so I decided to take a little break and lie down for a little.
That's when I heard the classic beeps begin. The ones that meant death is imminent. Within a minute or two, Muffin left an egg behind and was gone.
Often times, I'll come across posts online that ask "what are your 'must play' games that everyone should play once in their life?" On these posts, you see the usual suspects: Portal 2, Hollow Knight, even some old games like Super Mario 64 and Tetris. I've never seen anyone say the vintage tamagotchi, but I think it definitely is one of those games everyone should try at least once.
Most games are filled with colorful visuals and exciting characters, but they only last as long as you're playing. Once you put the game down, the world is effectively frozen until you come back. Vintage tamagotchi is the exact opposite: it's black and white on a 32x16 pixel screen, but the world of the game never stops, because the game world is our world. Because of this, I find I can't help but put a part of myself into the game and the experience. Over these past few weeks, it's given a physical form to a voice inside me that tells me to try new things or make myself a little better than I was before, and push past whatever inadequacy I believe about myself or fear I have in the moment. Sometimes it's really easy to ignore that voice and give into negativity, but tamagotchi gave me something to hold in my hand as I tried those things I always wanted to do but was afraid to.
Another thing unique to vintage tamagotchi is the idea that nothing lasts forever. School, jobs, friendships, all these things at some point come and go. And, in the end, all we'll have left is what we learned from these experiences, our memories of them, and how they made us feel. I learned a lot and made a lot of memories over these past 23 days. Maybe that's the real point of playing tamagotchi, or really doing anything at all.

Thank you for reading! I hope whatever you're going through, you find the courage to believe that things can get better and never give up on making it happen.