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Characters:

Jessica Tashi: A kind and pleasant yet smart and funny girl. She is your typical 8th grader- obsessed with boys, celebrities, and fashion. She is Drew’s ex in the beginning but eventually gets back with him. She is class president at Haver Middle School.

Ken Niles: A star quarterback for the Haver Hawks. He is very handsome. Has an on/off relationship with Kirsten.

Kirsten Rockwell: She is a rather popular cheerleader at Haver Middle School. Her catchphrase is, “5, 6, 7, 8, ___ is totally great!” She is extremely fashionable.

Drew Hunter: Jessica Randall’s ex, and then becomes her boyfriend again. He is very arrogant and is a member of the basketball team.

Tricia Tashi: Jessica’s older sister, she has her license and is basically the party queen of Rose High School. She is a member of the cheer squad there, the Rose Rebels.

Katrina Tashi: Jessica’s mother. She works as a lawyer and is single.

Maria Wagner: Jessica’s enemy. She is very rich and spoiled.

Yasmin Bauer: Kirsten’s enemy. She is very rich and spoiled. She is also a bit blonde.

Madison Needham: Known as basically the class clown of Haver. She is smart and very good friends with Jessica and Kirsten.

Rick Gregory: An emo guy at Haver. He likes Maria, even though she doesn’t know it.

Adrian Amoroso: A dead serious tomboy at Haver. Madison says she never will be funny.

(Rolling credits)

(Scene in home, Kirsten and Jessica)

Kirsten: Get over it, Jess. Drew obviously just wanted to dump you easily.

(Jessica wails loudly)

Jessica: I know! But hello? Why would he send me A BOOK?!

(Kirsten looks puzzled)

Kirsten: I dunno. What book is it?

Jessica: It was, like, homemade. Construction paper and stuff.

(Kirsten picks up the book from the mess strewn across the coffee table)

Kirsten: Oh, my gosh, it’s titled, How to Please Drew!

(Kirsten throws at Jessica’s mannequin)

Kirsten: What is wrong with that self-centered, arrogant jerk?!

Jessica: That’s my problem! That, that....

Kirsten: Whatever. Let’s go shopping at Bonnie’s Boutique, they just got the summer shipment in! And there’s a sa-ale....

(Jessica jumps up)

Jessica: Let’s go!

(Scene Two)

(At Bonnie’s boutique, Maria Wagner and Yasmin Bauer)

Maria: Yasmin! Come look at this gorgeous top!

Yasmin: Awesome, Maria, Drew will absolutely LOVE you in that top.

(Yasmin picks up a miniskirt)

Yasmin: Think this will go with my white lacy tank top?

(two look at each other)

Maria and Yasmin: NAH!

(Jessica and Kirsten enter)

Jessica: Hey, look, Kirsten, it’s the DoubleSnob twins!

Maria: It’s the Doublemint Twins.

Kirsten: Funny, I never thought of you as models.

Yasmin: You don’t know the first thing about modeling.

Bonnie: She doesn’t, but I do.

(sweet voice) Chorus: Hi, Bonnie!

Bonnie: And I can tell you, Yasmin, that the four of you have taken my modeling course. Now, since you four are my favorite customers, I’ll let you take home one free thing today.

(Girls run for expensive racks)

(Maria and Yasmin pick out identical dresses, Kirsten buys skirt, and Jessica takes jacket)

Chorus: Thanks, Bonnie!

(Bonnie shoos them out)

(Maria and Yasmin flounce off, Kirsten and Jessica go to food court for dinner)

Jessica: Cheeseburger with no pickles, medium order of fries, and a small Coke, please.

Kirsten: Swiss burger with extra cheese, large order of fries, and a large Diet Coke.

Cashier: That’ll be $12.58.

(Jessica gives a 20 dollar bill and gets change and food)

(Kirsten and Jessica begin eating)

Jessica: Whychuordershomushfoosh?

Kirsten: Say what?

Jessica (swallowed): Why’d you order so much food?

Kirsten: I’m hungry and I ordered a Diet Coke.

(Jessica shrugs and returns to wolfing down fries with ketchup)

(Girls eat in silence for awhile before all is left are fries and sodas)

Jessica: So, what should I do about Drew?

Kirsten: Leave it to me, girl.

Jessica: Okay... oh, my gosh, I have to go home! Later!

(Kirsten waves and Jessica runs home)

(Kirsten whips out cell phone)

Kirsten: Leave it to Kirsten.

(Kirsten calls Drew)

Drew: Hello?

Kirsten: Hey Drew!

Drew: Oh, hey Kirsten.

Kirsten: So I was wondering if you’d like to go out on Friday.

Drew: You know I’m single. And sure.

Kirsten: Okay, pick me up at 6:00, buh bye!

(Both hang up and Kirsten grins wickedly)

-next day-

(At school)

Drew: Hey Kirsten!

Jessica (when he is out of hearing distance): What was that ‘bout?

Kirsten: Nothing. Nothing at all.

(Bell rings and everyone goes to classes)

A topic like this should probably be in "Stuff We Read".

I think it's a great story, and it would be good for a play because of the way it has been written. Good job!

A topic like this should probably be in "Stuff We Listen To".I think it's a great story, and it would be good for a play because of the way it has been written. Good job!

Click to expand...

Why should this be in "Stuff We Listen To?"

 

Anyway, it's a good piece of writing but might look better in sentence form. Are you planning on performing it?

This should be in "Stuff We Read".

And if you want someone to valuate your writing, we can't do it if you write in script.

This should be in "Stuff We Read".
And if you want someone to valuate your writing, we can't do it if you write in script.

Click to expand...

Yup with both. Maybe try rewriting it in normal?

Please rate and give suggestive comments?

Well--

Nevermind. You'll get it some day. XD

I think you mean critisism.

-reads-

Um, if that will ever be a novel or a short story, you need to do it in proper writing form. Unless your doing a screenplay, that format is unacceptable. Okay spelling, but, its a bit plotless. Though, I bet it is only a sample, so..

I agree with princess08. If you are doing a script for a TV Show, play, or Movie, that would be fine, but if it is a short story, you have to write it in proper writing form, example: Kirsten yells at Jess, "Get over it, Jess. Drew obviously wanted to dump you easily."

Stuff like that.

^ Yup, agreed. When you write like that, you get no description and the plot can get confussing easily.

It was...erm...how can I put this? Empty.

I didn't feel this was a story...it was just so empty. Don't write in that format unless it's a script...it sucks all the emotion and meaning out of the story, and all you have left is empty words.

You have to describe things, like people, places, items, etc. You can't just go through the story like a normal conversation.

If you re-write it in the right format, it could be really good!

Why should this be in "Stuff We Listen To?" 

Anyway, it's a good piece of writing but might look better in sentence form. Are you planning on performing it?

Click to expand...

Oops! What was I thinking? Confusing Stuff We Listen To with Stuff We Read?! :furawatchi:

Hehe. The things I do when I'm half asleep

Please excuse my idiotic-ness.

Please rate and give suggestive comments?
Well--

Nevermind. You'll get it some day. XD

Click to expand...

That's exactly what I was thinking when I saw the title. XD

ANYWAY...

Can you try to write it over in normal form? It's nice but we can't really give (constructive) criticism if it's written as a script. :]