My poetry

I love writing poetry. I want to make a book. But I'm wondering...am I good enough?

(NOTE: I don't usually name my poetry. Well, I do later. Just not now And you don't have to rate all of them. If you only read a certain one, or few, just name them and rate them. Thanks.)

A few samples...

The girl sits beneath a tree,

Hoping, wanting to be free.

She's been used and abused,

To see her pain, others refused.

She would like to escape this fear,

But her pain is a pain no one would hear.

So she hides in a different place,

And no one is able to find her face.

Still, she weeps, she's still scared

But to take her, no one dared.

So she wishes someone would come,

But instead she's treated like a bum.

No one listens or hears her cries,

And the girl inside her slowly dies.

~~~

I see nothing but dark grey skies,

They scream, they stomp, they let out cries.

I can't sense anything but its sounds and size.

Nothing is clear, except a cloud shedding a tear.

An ear-piercing, blaring sound.

Kind of like a howling hound,

Along with rain from clouds to the ground.

Rain is pouring, thunder is roaring.

Children run through "ponds" and "lakes",

As their feet touch water, the water shakes.

They're so dirty, for goodness sakes.

Some have fun, others wish for sun.

There's so much rain, everywhere is wet.

I'm so happy that the sun has set.

But there's more rain that we will get.

Many raindrops, feeding farmers' crops.

I love the rain, I love the hail,

I'm glad that this rain will prevail,

To enchant one, it will never fail.

~~~

A Magical Summer Sunrise

Part One

We seek the sun's firey delight

But the dawn stays nowhere in sight.

You see, 'tis the twenty-first of June

The morning of Summer Solstice!

Summer will begin soon.

Part Two

Look! An orange light of summer!

See that orange, yellow and red,

Now there is light for us to tread.

Never will I want to leave those colours, warm and enchanting.

Watch the sun, quite the vision,

Witness it with perfect precision.

This place is filled with magic,

But I know it'll end...won't it be tragic.

Though now that summer has began,

Let the warmth penetrate the land.

What do you think?

(EDIT: Now I've shortened it down to three poems because no one is coming. I don't know what difference that makes, but oh well. I don't want you to feel pressured to read all of them...but I just want some constructive criticism.)

Here's another poem I've written - an attempt to write non rhyming.

Here is my newest poem. An attempt to write non-rhyming poetry...except that one rhyming part.

The moon, it shines so bright,

We watch intently and gaze with wonder.

We wish to dance upon it,

We dream to take flight in the middle of the night,

But what wonders does it behold?

Is it an illusion?

A hallucination?

A delusion?

Alas, only few shall know,

Those who explore.

If it is an illusion,

We can believe it's there.

A night-light at bedtime.

The dominant of the night sky.

A finishing light of night before sunrise.

Opinions? (I know, I get way too impatient. I'll just try to calm myself while I wait for that oh-so-longed-for opinion.)

Wow, you're awesome at poetry! Great work, and yes, I think you should make a book. ^^

You are really good. You should make your book.

But I think that it would be a good idea to put morals in your poems.

(And I <3 your none rhyming poems bette, im not a rhyming poem fan)

Thank you to all!

(And to Fishfreak, I have just began writing non-rhyming. My dad told me that you can say something like meaningful poetry even if it doesn't rhyme. So I tried rhyming. Everybody likes my non-rhyming poetry better. My teacher said that she'd try to publish the non-rhyming one in the school newsletter but only said, "that's good" at the rhyming ones. So yeah ^^ I should start writing more non-rhyming. Thanks!)

New poetry. I finally got around to writing a poem about snow which I've been longing to for the longest time. I'm getting into weather poetry.

Thoughts? Opinions? Constructive criticism?

Untitled

Snowflakes tumble down,

From a beautiful white sky.

So intricate, so delicate.

They lace the tree branches.

Some melt on our snowsuits,

While others pile up

Making a team of deep snow,

Glistening, alighting.

It makes me feel guilty,

Trudging through its shining completion,

Ruining the natural feeling.

For I am a mere human,

Not nearly as kind, graceful, or divine as the snow.

Written another one.

Colours on the trees,

Falling off,

Red, yellow, gold, orange.

Children laugh,

Jumping into leaf piles.

The crinkling sound of leaves,

It lurks in the air.

Adults raking the leaves,

It pierces them.

Divine shapes

So colourful

So delicate.

If I were a human,

I'd be laughing,

with no sympathy.

But no, not I

For I am one of the leaves, tumbling down off a tree.

Luckily, I fell a bit later than the others

To tell the story.

But I see a rake coming by.

Skidding, dragging itself.

It sweeps over me.

I'm in a leaf pile, dying...

dying...

Gone.

Would someone review, please?

It's lovely.

You're an amazing poet.

sry

sry again

Your poetry is pretty good! If you keep writing it will get even better!

Thanks!

metcalf, could you put your poetry in a different topic, please? Sorry...I just want reviews for mine. I'm so selfish.

sry. lol and i luv ur poems

Phooey, now I feel bad. Thanks. I like your poetry too - cute.

I have another one. My friend requested it from me. She wanted to give it to her father for Father's Day. She told me she'd give me credit. And she wanted rhyming. Not my best poem. Especially the last cliche lines.

Ever since I was young,

I've always been so strung. (Not in the poem...but I didn't mean my friend. Haw.)

But in your heart I've been stowed,

See how much I have grown.

You put up with my worst,

But still, I am one of the first

In your great big heart.

You're the best...

Food feeder

Life leader

Happiness puffer

Mistake snuffer

Storyteller

Word speller

...And much much more.

Daddy, I'm sure

It's ever so obvious

That I love you very much.

metcalf, could you put your poetry in a different topic, please? Sorry...I just want reviews for mine. I'm so selfish.

Click to expand...

thts kinda mean.........

I know. Read my last post.

(Siggy poem, I know.)

His broken wings in pain, he stood on the cliff,

Staring into the great folded ocean.

Unlike usual, it wasn't moving - it was stiff.

Nervous, just like him.

Lad, please make no attempt,

Don't fly off the cliff's rim.

The ocean is just a fool.

I can do it.

The ocean was ignored,

And he died in the pool.

^

That was a pretty poem, though the ending was sad. I still like it though, keep it up!

Thanks.

Okay, metcalf, I've come to realize how selfish I was. I get impulsive like that sometimes and I'm sorry. Post here.