To connect, go to the fifth icon, which should be a heart with three rings around it. On both toys, select "OTHERS" once you open the icon. Then face both IR tabs together and press the B button on either one. It will say "CONNECT" and then one of your tamas will visit the other one, or both of them will go up and play a game.
To mate, you must have four hearts under that friend. Check to see if you have hearts or smiley faces by going to the book icon and selecting "FRIENDS". Once you get to that friend, press the B button, and you will see how many smiley faces or hearts you have with that friend.
Then, once you have four hearts for both friends, and both of the tamas are adults, then when you connect the tamas will look like they're shaking their heads. Press the B button on either tama, and the tama that you pressed the button on will go into the other tama's screen, and they will mate. The girl tama will pop out two babies, and one of them will go to the other version.
Then you have your babies! Hope I helped.
EDIT: Also, if it doesn't let you connect, most likely the problem is you're connecting them in sunlight. Take your tamas out of the light and into some shade, then try again, and your tamas will probably connect.