Going with someone smarter than me..

TamaTalk

Help Support TamaTalk:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.
Status
Not open for further replies.

ChocoToken

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 21, 2009
Messages
845
Reaction score
1
Ohkay, I have a boyfriend.. he's like a month younger than me, and 1 grade lower than me. But it bothers me, because he is soo smart, and intelligent. He takes higher classes than me, he's so ahead. In fact, he even got his license. He knows more things than me, he took classes I've already taken.. He plays over numerous instruments.. Usually if I go with someone, they are extremely stupid, or extremely intelligent.. and he is so smart it makes me feel icky.. But he's like really, nice, sweet, and romantic.. he tells me beauty is my talent. It's not like I'm a slack person or anything, I just try hard and I don't end up with the greatest results. But I'm just bummed out, that he likes me so much, but there's not nothing special about me really. =.=

Help, thanks in advance.

 
I don't understand your problem. You say you usually go out with ppl way more stupid than you or way more intelligent. He is the latter. Why is it a problem?

If he is so smart he makes you feel "icky"(?), then why are you hanging around with him? If you are bummed out that he likes you and you don't think you are special, how is this not just a little selfish?

How about just enjoying a relationship whilst it lasts without trying to think of things that will spoil it?

:kusatchi:

 
I agree with TM.

I think that your problem is (just a hunch really, since I don't know you in person :kusatchi: ) that you're not used to having someone so sweet and willing to throw compliments your way, and because of this, it seems awkward. Stop focusing on what you lack in character and what he possesses. This is causing you to become way too self conscious and is thus ruining your relationship. You can't be perfect, no one can. If he can't like you for YOU, then you're better off without him. So don't worry about it. You already said yourself that he likes you very much, so quit beating yourself up over this.

Besides, if he is really as sweet as you say he is, it is rare to find someone who is like this so be thankful and hold onto him. ;D

 
I think you might be underestimating yourself a little. If he didn't truly believe that you were talented enough for him to like you then he wouldn't be with you in the first place.

You said yourself that you aren't a slacker and you try really hard, so don't compare yourself with him, because everybody's good at different things. :)

But if you really can't help feeling so insignificant with him then I don't think you should continue dating him..

 
I think you might be selling yourself short. There's a reason why your boyfriend wants to be with you. Whatever it is, he sees it in you. Personally, I prefer being in a relationship with a man who is just as smart, smarter, or ends up being more successful (I know some people who might be bothered about that) with his career, etc., and I am, very happily at that! I don't think I would be as happy if I were with someone who wasn't quick on the draw or the sharpest tool in the shed, you know? Besides, it's all a matter of perception. Take my boyfriend and me, for instance. I absolutely suck at anything and everything physics-related. Math is no better for me. He's fantastic at that stuff, while he can barely remember all the organelles in a cell or cringes at the sight of things in a medical textbook (things that I'm really into). Also, smartness is all relative. I've got my college degree, I consider myself intelligent but like I said before, I shudder at the thought of physics, and I'm bad at it too. There's a multitude of things out there that I still need to learn and may never learn. We all have a special knack for different things. Plus, it seems that he's a good guy. He doesn't patronize or belittle you. Try not to feel so bummed out or icky. I think you've got a good thing going on here.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
The whole reason you're going out with him is for his personality, not reputation or intelligence. Yes?

Instead of feeling the way you do, try to be pleased for him and support him. And if he's so intelligent, he obviously knows you're good for him. Don't doubt yourself.

 
You could ask him to help you in whatever you need help in. (good grades, etc.)

That way you could get a bit at level with him.

And don't underestimate yourself.

I hope I helped .

 
He plays over numerous instruments..
This is the first thing I saw. No freaking joke. (Sorry, I just came back from band camp today..)

ANYWAY.... Intellegence shouldn't matter... He loves you for you, not for your brain.

 
He's going out with you, isn't he? What more proof do you need that he already thinks you're special?
No, I think he means that he feels "icky" and "awkward" with someone younger but smarter than him, not because he thinks he's not considered special by him.

I would take some help from him(like in improving grades or whatever)...and be proud of who I am.

There might be something you do that he can't do, too.

You are special, you just need to believe in yourself....(;

 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Latest posts

Back
Top