An attempt?

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x.Cant//Knit.x

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I got bored last night so at like 1AM I decided I'd write something.

It's only short and I'm really not that great of a writer, especially compared to some of you guys, buuut it's a try I suppose. Oh and I'm not actually suicidal, just a poemmm.

Her life is filled

With gloom and despair,

Her biggest wish

Is for someone to care.

 

Every day, she grabs the knife,

Tears speeding down her cheek,

Sweaty hands and shaking all over,

This is her only relief.

 

Her mind is puzzled,

She's done enough harm,

But now, with no hesitation,

She slams it onto her arm.

 

Her heart rate slows down,

It gets harder to breathe,

She loses grip of the knife,

And of this pain, she's relieved.

Use of vocabulary could be expanded a bit, I know -.-

 
[SIZE=21pt]POTATO![/SIZE]

 
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*Cough* IS [SIZE=21pt]POTATO[/SIZE] suppost to be a good thing

anyway i liked it it was... very deep

 
omg i love. I think you shouldn't change anything, the vocab is fine 2 me :(

@kuchikid

what do you mean by potato??? I think she was looking for feedback or comments not a vegtable,, wait is a potato a vegatable.

 
This is aweosme Kseniaa! I didn't know you could write that well n.n

 
[SIZE=21pt]KUMQUAT![/SIZE]
Okay, I know we're not playing edit, but I had to do that.

Anyways.

Wow Ksenia :D

This is emotional and dark. Never expected this from you (lol, Azula quote), but it's great :)

 
Ksenia's a poet and I didn't know it. xD

I love it. It seems well structured and I like the darkness of it.

 
I never knew you were such a good writer o:

It's like you're describing me actually, haha. I think it's good. The words might be a little choppy/repetitive/simple, but if you could be bothered to work on it and you really wanted to, you could turn it into something awesome.

:3

 
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