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By Knighttchi's Ballad
I saw a video on youtube where a girl made a song using a song lyric generator for hilarious results. I wanted to try the same thing and when I found the website's poem generator, I instantly wanted to generate a Tamagotchi poem. The major problem was that the generator doesn't recognize non-standard words and thus couldn't really use "Tamagotchi" because it couldn't match it up with anything. And it also didn't do well with my standard, insane phrases - like "Grandma's teeth" - and instead replaced them with more sensible equivalents. So, having some literary talent, I decided I would modify them myself to be closer to what I actually wanted to create while still partially following the generator's formula. I made two of them and the words in [square brackets] are my modifications, while the rest are the generator and the selections it accepted. They even generated automatic reviews!
Just a note about the first, it references the "Penguin-keeper's got a network of penguin minions monitoring the Mod Break topic, ready to squawk and send us back to square one" in-joke. ("Squawk" is such a hard word to spell.)
by K. Ballad
I cannot help but stop and look at the Monochrome screen [subculture].
Does the [subculture] make you shiver?
Pay attention to the fact,
the fact is the most made in 1996 realness of all.
Does the fact make you shiver?
Just like a penguin minion squawking, is the failure.
Failure - the true source of squawk.
The yellow [beeping] sings like an abundance of cheap knock-offs
Never forget the chromatic and colored [beeping].
And time to see the critic reviews:
Oh boy, wait till they read my next masterpiece! I actually put some effort into the modifications as it practically rejected all of my choices so I had to add them back and make them work.
The Glitched Stranger At Japanese Nonsense - A Narrative Poem
by K. Ballad
One day at a Japan You Want shop,
I met a man selling [leveled gotchis, extra flat],
For money he wanted to swap,
But I really wanted some [Devilgotchis, extra matte].
"Got any [Devilgotchis]?" asked I.
"For that's how I'll spend my money."
"No [Devilgotchis] here!" said the guy.
He seemed to find it quite funny.
"We've got some lovely [weird stuff],
I'll give you a very fine price."
"I'd rather have some [geared stuff]."
The man blinked rapidly thrice.
The man seemed exceptionally [Kuchipatchi, kissy face and all],
And his manner was strangely [Tamatchi-d, like a smiling ball].
He wasn't what I would call [Kusatchi, no leaves squiggled],
Great disdain he noticeably [Zatchi-d, arms constantly wriggled].
Like others, he thought I was odd,
Some say I'm a bit [switched].
Still he gave me a courteous nod,
As if he thought I was plenty [glitched].
So in search of my goal I departed,
But before the Japan You Want shop could I leave,
The man came running full-hearted,
"I can help you I believe."
"[Leveled gotchis, Devilgotchis], you shall find.
[Grandma’s teeth, penguins beneath], you can get.
You must now open your mind,
And get down to Japanese Nonsense Market.
So to Japanese Nonsense Market I decided to go,
In search of the [Devilgotchis] I craved.
The winds it did eerily blow.
But I felt that the day could be saved.
There were stalls selling rings,
TamaTalkers in many shades.
There were even stalls selling wings
People were scattered from many trades
I was greeted by a peculiar lady,
She seemed to be rather [switched]
I couldn't help thinking she might be quite shady.
I wondered if she was at all [glitched].
Before I could open my mouth,
She shouted, "For you, I have some [Devilgotchis]!"
I headed towards her, to the south,
Past some [Granny teeth and leveled gotchis].
"But how did you know?" I asked,
"Do you want them or not?" she did say.
Silently, the [Devilgotchis] she passed.
Then vanished before I could pay.
As I walked away I [heard] a crackle
Or was it, perhaps, a hushed cackle?
And the critics loved it:
I have a feeling these people have little subcultural relevance as Enid Kibbler seems to be oblivious to the value of a Devilgotchi. And to that I demande, "Go educate yourself, normie!"
If this entertained you, why not rig up a poem yourself? Or maybe even a song or other form of writing from one of the other generators?
By Knighttchi's Ballad
Oh boy, do I have a strange story for TamaTalk for once. It centers on this:
While I was connecting Sotilde, my Hanerutchi, to my Akai using the same-version connection, suddenly this weird flashing image pops up before the usual connection seeking animation. It flashed between black and white or negative colours and positive colours. Unfortunately, I didn't get to take a positive coloured image but I can tell you it looked like a weird Kusatchi creature leaning out of its pot and crying, or possibly just being super anxious. After the flashing was over, it then transitioned to a screen displaying an empty meter at the top with a timer counting down from 9 seconds. It turned out I had to mash the A button in order to fill up the meter before the time ran out. The B button would make a noise but wouldn't fill up the meter and I didn't get to try the C button. Of course, button mashing is hard enough and I failed the first time and was then abruptly transitioned to the usual connection seeking screen. I exited out of the connection but was still in the connection menu so I selected same version connection again. The game reappeared! I tried my best to fill up the meter now that I had effectively unlimited retries unless I exited the menu altogether, as I did later. My button mashing skills were not good enough and at best I was two blocks away from completion. I was also getting nervous about harming Sotilde's device, considering she is a long-living oldie being 3 human years old. That's why I wouldn't have given her to my brother who's got excellent button mashing skills 'cause he'd probably total her.
Now this isn't the first time this event has happened. I know for certain it happened twice on my Akai while I was unfortunately completely flabbergasted and unable to get any pictures because it ended so fast. The first time it happened, I thought I was hallucinating because such a weird, unexplained things started happening to my Tamagotchi for a few, brief confusing seconds and then it was just gone. And of course, the whole line of Japanese at the top made me even more confused. I tried rendering it in romaji using my Japanese connection chart but it looks like some of the characters are either truncated or completely unique. It would have helped if I got the normal picture of it but I can't so I'll have to wait for my next opportunity. I have a feeling this minigame might not be as uncommon as it appeared since I don't do that many connections to begin with, and most people probably don't.
I wonder if this minigame actually requires prior connections or if it might be some special Easter egg intended to be stumbled upon by a bored kid messing around with the connection feature even though they didn't have another tama. Does anybody have any info on this?
We’re going to play a game; how many tamas on Tamagotchi Planet are there?
This is a forum game that's on another fansite that I absolutely adore. You basically say the alphabet, but.. it doesn't start over. Like counting, it goes on!
Several posts later...
Get it? The user below me begins! Let's all make it to ZZZ,ZZZ!
So guys. I came across a list of "rarest tamagotchis" while browsing and I had to know because of the title being like "We're concerned if you paid this much for a tamagotchi" or something or other. Anyways heres the image. What do you all think? I can't stop laughing and genuinely being concerned of who listed this as well as wrote the article, which if you google "Rarest tamagotchi" google makes it the first link. Have fun!