I dunno what to call it, so read it and make a suggestion.
And this is terrible. If you look on Missbehave's topic What books annoy you most? you will see that this is a type of book that annoys me... I just had an inspiration to write it!!
[SIZE=21pt]Chapter One[/SIZE]
[SIZE=10pt] Heather giggled furiously while Ellie rocked back and forth with laughter. Sometimes I think they overact, but my opinion is not always the truth. Jokes about baby apes' beds aren't that funny, are they? [/SIZE]
I guess they liked it. Oh well! Friends are friends. And they are different people in themselves. I dunno if that makes sense. Oh well again!
“You're so funny, Natasha!” Heather said admiringly.
“Yeah, you really are,” Ellie agreed.
Ha! Funny? Me? Never. Never ever. But as I was about to say this, Heather's stomach rumbled loudly, and her face went as red as a rose. I just laughed and said, “Your face!”
Ellie caught on and giggled softly too.
“Are you two hungry? Just say, 'cause there's, like, a whole feast downstairs!” I said, and smiled. I got up, and automatically Ellie and Heather followed.
Downstairs, I really did have a feast for us. A midnight feast! I set everything up on the kitchen table, very creatively and imaginatively, and then I exclaimed, “Tuck in!”
Both of them hesitated.
“All right, I guess you'll have to watch me eat!” I picked up a strawberry and dipped it in the melted Galaxy chocolate. As I put it in my mouth, I go, “Mmmm, yum,” and slowly bite into it. All this lovely chocolately taste spreads over my mouth and I smile. Mum had cut off all the tops of the strawberries, so you can just pop it in your mouth. But I bite about half, then eat the rest.
Heather dived her hand into a glass bowl full of marshmallows.
“I wish my mum was this nice,” Ellie sighed, dipping her finger in one of the smaller bowls of melted Galaxy dotted over the table.
“It... took a while to persuade her, but, here we are! She said she'd only make a few titbits, but then got right into it.”
It's hard for me. I have two best friends that are really great pals, but they're not... well... it's mean to say it like this, but they're not like me. I mean, I'm slim and pretty and not at all modest sometimes, like now. Ellie and Heather are, well, fat. They're not cool or popular. They don't get invited to nearly as many parties as I do. It's seriously hard to keep this friendship when you have everyone in the whole class and out of class wanting to be your friend. I suppose I've sort of made Heather and Ellie noticeable, since they hang around me, and I sometimes get crowds of people shouting and pushing and trying to get to me that will see Heather and Ellie. But all the people getting at me say to them things like, “Shove off,” and, “Go away, leave Nats alone.”.
People just don't get it. Even though Mum's quite rich and we've got this big house and stuff, they don't understand that Heather and Ellie are my friends.
But then, Ellie and Heather are totally different compared to me. I've got really nice golden layered hair, and loads of different clothes styles. They wear dull things all the time, and their school uniforms are crisp and clean and neat and tidy. I never do my tie up properly. Ellie and Heather do. I suppose their mums get together once in a while and have a good old natter about this and that, how Neil Rhinestone should have won Dancing: Legally because he was so good looking, and the way Miss Duncan (my P.E teacher) wears her skirt so high should be illegal, how well their daughters are doing in school, scowling and frowning at boys that hang around the shops with their trousers half-way down their legs. Mum only hangs out with famous, ex-famous, semi-famous and very good childhood friends. She doesn't like to make friends with new people, or should I say normal people. She's not snobbish or anything, she's really nice to all my friends, but she just... doesn't really like people that don't have loads of money. She talks to some kids' mothers' at my school, of course, like Ellie's mum Louise and Heather's mum Kelly.
“Nats, I really, really love cheese and pineapple! Ooh, it's soo yummy,” Ellie cried delightedly. I smiled to myself. At least their enjoying it, I though, until I noticed Heather sitting on one of our stools (the ones with a really long leg, that swivel around. Our kitchen is so funky, and modern), with a disgusted look on her face.
“What's wrong, Heather?” I said.
“I'm supposed to be on a diet. I just remembered,” she replied.
“Nonsense! You don't need to go on a diet! You're as light as a feather!” I had to say that, didn't I? Oh well, she's my friend. A little white lie doesn't do anything, right? “Look, Feather Heather!”
“Oh, don't Natasha,” Heather looked sick. “You know I'm fat.”
“Rubbish,” piped up Ellie. “Who said you were?”
“My mum's going a diet. A really big one. Wants to lose a lot before next year's Dancing: Legally competition. She's taken up dancing as well. Not too bad, to be honest. Much better than I would be.
“Anyway, I asked if I could go on a diet with her, and she said I could lose a few pounds, that I have puppy fat, that's all. So I didn't argue, even though I know and she knows that I'm fat. Fat, fat, fat.”
“Feather Heather!” I said, sympathetically. “If you want, I'll go on a diet as well.”
“No. You're like a twig.”
“I'm insulted!” I said.
“I was joking. But if you go on the diet I'm going on, you'll starve to death,” Heather insisted.
“Fine. But what about all this food? What should me and Ellie do with it? We can't just eat it in front of you, and I don't want it to waste.”
“Eat it. I'm too tired, anyway,” Heather stifled a very fake yawn. “Maybe bring some stuff upstairs if you're allowed. You can eat while I sleep.”
So, while Heather 'slept' (with very loud, deep breaths), me and Ellie ate to our hearts desire. Melted chocolate, strawberries, cheese and pineapple on cocktail sticks, mini sausages, Twixes and Mars bars and Flakes, Celebrations and Quality Streets, and loads of other stuff.
Eventually, Heather's breathing fell into a sort of purr, and Ellie decided to go to sleep. I sat, eating, and thinking.
Maybe I could start writing a book. A book on how to deal with fat friends. I mean, I could earn a fortune. I wouldn't use the word fat once in the book. The title could be Fat Friends: How To Understand/Deal With Them. The first sentence: Do you have a friend that is perhaps a bit large? Needs to lose a few pounds, or has a total eating problem?
Or I could enter a dancing competition. Nah, they'd probably make me do classic dance. I'm into modern at the mo'...
Maybe I should just worry about the present right now. Loads of people worry about what's going to come, but not what's happening, and lose people valuable to them. That's what Mum says. I'm gonna take Mum's advice for now.
*
After Ellie had left, Louise showed up to collect Heather. She didn't want to stay too long, but ended up staying for three hours. I'm not being rude or anything to Louise, but her laugh is like a foghorn! It's like, 'Hawww. Hawww.' I find it funny, so while Heather's going on about her diet, I sit giggling to myself. We were sitting in the dining room, and Louise and Mum were in the kitchen. Mum had left all the strawberries and pineapple and all the healthy stuff from last night, for Ellie and Heather's mums' to snack a bit on.
After I started going into a sort of silent giggling fit, Heather stands up really quickly. Her chair falls over, and it was sort of like in a film.
“You find it funny, do you?” Heather said. She was breathing really quickly. “You think that because you're so slim and stuff, it's funny? Listen, Misses, there are two reasons I'm going on this stupid diet. One; because my mum is and I want to give her some support. Two is because I'm jealous of you. I want a nice figure, I'm so big and bulky.”
“Well, that's technically three,” I said. I swear I didn't do that on purpose. I kinda forgot my large bud was shouting at me, practically crying.
“This friendship is over, Natasha Smith,” she replied. She was crying now, silent tears falling down her face. “Ha, look at that. I don't even know your middle name! I can't believe you never told me, after eight years of knowing each other.”
Then she stormed off into the kitchen. Mum stopped talking abruptly as soon as I entered the room.
“Nats, go to your room. I'll talk to you later,” she said sternly.
When I was walking out, I heard Mum say,
“Yes, Louise I will punish her. I know what your going through. I do, I went through a stage when I just ate and ate and ate. At the end of the year, I was so large it was a struggle for me to walk round the block. I went right on to dieting the next year, nothing after five o' clock, only an fruit and vegetables to eat. I did, of course, have meats and breads.”
I smiled. Mum had never been fat. Maybe she was a bit overweight at one stage in her life, but never big enough for her not to walk the block. She went jogging every morning from when she left secondary school. How could she have been that fat?
And this is terrible. If you look on Missbehave's topic What books annoy you most? you will see that this is a type of book that annoys me... I just had an inspiration to write it!!
[SIZE=21pt]Chapter One[/SIZE]
[SIZE=10pt] Heather giggled furiously while Ellie rocked back and forth with laughter. Sometimes I think they overact, but my opinion is not always the truth. Jokes about baby apes' beds aren't that funny, are they? [/SIZE]
I guess they liked it. Oh well! Friends are friends. And they are different people in themselves. I dunno if that makes sense. Oh well again!
“You're so funny, Natasha!” Heather said admiringly.
“Yeah, you really are,” Ellie agreed.
Ha! Funny? Me? Never. Never ever. But as I was about to say this, Heather's stomach rumbled loudly, and her face went as red as a rose. I just laughed and said, “Your face!”
Ellie caught on and giggled softly too.
“Are you two hungry? Just say, 'cause there's, like, a whole feast downstairs!” I said, and smiled. I got up, and automatically Ellie and Heather followed.
Downstairs, I really did have a feast for us. A midnight feast! I set everything up on the kitchen table, very creatively and imaginatively, and then I exclaimed, “Tuck in!”
Both of them hesitated.
“All right, I guess you'll have to watch me eat!” I picked up a strawberry and dipped it in the melted Galaxy chocolate. As I put it in my mouth, I go, “Mmmm, yum,” and slowly bite into it. All this lovely chocolately taste spreads over my mouth and I smile. Mum had cut off all the tops of the strawberries, so you can just pop it in your mouth. But I bite about half, then eat the rest.
Heather dived her hand into a glass bowl full of marshmallows.
“I wish my mum was this nice,” Ellie sighed, dipping her finger in one of the smaller bowls of melted Galaxy dotted over the table.
“It... took a while to persuade her, but, here we are! She said she'd only make a few titbits, but then got right into it.”
It's hard for me. I have two best friends that are really great pals, but they're not... well... it's mean to say it like this, but they're not like me. I mean, I'm slim and pretty and not at all modest sometimes, like now. Ellie and Heather are, well, fat. They're not cool or popular. They don't get invited to nearly as many parties as I do. It's seriously hard to keep this friendship when you have everyone in the whole class and out of class wanting to be your friend. I suppose I've sort of made Heather and Ellie noticeable, since they hang around me, and I sometimes get crowds of people shouting and pushing and trying to get to me that will see Heather and Ellie. But all the people getting at me say to them things like, “Shove off,” and, “Go away, leave Nats alone.”.
People just don't get it. Even though Mum's quite rich and we've got this big house and stuff, they don't understand that Heather and Ellie are my friends.
But then, Ellie and Heather are totally different compared to me. I've got really nice golden layered hair, and loads of different clothes styles. They wear dull things all the time, and their school uniforms are crisp and clean and neat and tidy. I never do my tie up properly. Ellie and Heather do. I suppose their mums get together once in a while and have a good old natter about this and that, how Neil Rhinestone should have won Dancing: Legally because he was so good looking, and the way Miss Duncan (my P.E teacher) wears her skirt so high should be illegal, how well their daughters are doing in school, scowling and frowning at boys that hang around the shops with their trousers half-way down their legs. Mum only hangs out with famous, ex-famous, semi-famous and very good childhood friends. She doesn't like to make friends with new people, or should I say normal people. She's not snobbish or anything, she's really nice to all my friends, but she just... doesn't really like people that don't have loads of money. She talks to some kids' mothers' at my school, of course, like Ellie's mum Louise and Heather's mum Kelly.
“Nats, I really, really love cheese and pineapple! Ooh, it's soo yummy,” Ellie cried delightedly. I smiled to myself. At least their enjoying it, I though, until I noticed Heather sitting on one of our stools (the ones with a really long leg, that swivel around. Our kitchen is so funky, and modern), with a disgusted look on her face.
“What's wrong, Heather?” I said.
“I'm supposed to be on a diet. I just remembered,” she replied.
“Nonsense! You don't need to go on a diet! You're as light as a feather!” I had to say that, didn't I? Oh well, she's my friend. A little white lie doesn't do anything, right? “Look, Feather Heather!”
“Oh, don't Natasha,” Heather looked sick. “You know I'm fat.”
“Rubbish,” piped up Ellie. “Who said you were?”
“My mum's going a diet. A really big one. Wants to lose a lot before next year's Dancing: Legally competition. She's taken up dancing as well. Not too bad, to be honest. Much better than I would be.
“Anyway, I asked if I could go on a diet with her, and she said I could lose a few pounds, that I have puppy fat, that's all. So I didn't argue, even though I know and she knows that I'm fat. Fat, fat, fat.”
“Feather Heather!” I said, sympathetically. “If you want, I'll go on a diet as well.”
“No. You're like a twig.”
“I'm insulted!” I said.
“I was joking. But if you go on the diet I'm going on, you'll starve to death,” Heather insisted.
“Fine. But what about all this food? What should me and Ellie do with it? We can't just eat it in front of you, and I don't want it to waste.”
“Eat it. I'm too tired, anyway,” Heather stifled a very fake yawn. “Maybe bring some stuff upstairs if you're allowed. You can eat while I sleep.”
So, while Heather 'slept' (with very loud, deep breaths), me and Ellie ate to our hearts desire. Melted chocolate, strawberries, cheese and pineapple on cocktail sticks, mini sausages, Twixes and Mars bars and Flakes, Celebrations and Quality Streets, and loads of other stuff.
Eventually, Heather's breathing fell into a sort of purr, and Ellie decided to go to sleep. I sat, eating, and thinking.
Maybe I could start writing a book. A book on how to deal with fat friends. I mean, I could earn a fortune. I wouldn't use the word fat once in the book. The title could be Fat Friends: How To Understand/Deal With Them. The first sentence: Do you have a friend that is perhaps a bit large? Needs to lose a few pounds, or has a total eating problem?
Or I could enter a dancing competition. Nah, they'd probably make me do classic dance. I'm into modern at the mo'...
Maybe I should just worry about the present right now. Loads of people worry about what's going to come, but not what's happening, and lose people valuable to them. That's what Mum says. I'm gonna take Mum's advice for now.
*
After Ellie had left, Louise showed up to collect Heather. She didn't want to stay too long, but ended up staying for three hours. I'm not being rude or anything to Louise, but her laugh is like a foghorn! It's like, 'Hawww. Hawww.' I find it funny, so while Heather's going on about her diet, I sit giggling to myself. We were sitting in the dining room, and Louise and Mum were in the kitchen. Mum had left all the strawberries and pineapple and all the healthy stuff from last night, for Ellie and Heather's mums' to snack a bit on.
After I started going into a sort of silent giggling fit, Heather stands up really quickly. Her chair falls over, and it was sort of like in a film.
“You find it funny, do you?” Heather said. She was breathing really quickly. “You think that because you're so slim and stuff, it's funny? Listen, Misses, there are two reasons I'm going on this stupid diet. One; because my mum is and I want to give her some support. Two is because I'm jealous of you. I want a nice figure, I'm so big and bulky.”
“Well, that's technically three,” I said. I swear I didn't do that on purpose. I kinda forgot my large bud was shouting at me, practically crying.
“This friendship is over, Natasha Smith,” she replied. She was crying now, silent tears falling down her face. “Ha, look at that. I don't even know your middle name! I can't believe you never told me, after eight years of knowing each other.”
Then she stormed off into the kitchen. Mum stopped talking abruptly as soon as I entered the room.
“Nats, go to your room. I'll talk to you later,” she said sternly.
When I was walking out, I heard Mum say,
“Yes, Louise I will punish her. I know what your going through. I do, I went through a stage when I just ate and ate and ate. At the end of the year, I was so large it was a struggle for me to walk round the block. I went right on to dieting the next year, nothing after five o' clock, only an fruit and vegetables to eat. I did, of course, have meats and breads.”
I smiled. Mum had never been fat. Maybe she was a bit overweight at one stage in her life, but never big enough for her not to walk the block. She went jogging every morning from when she left secondary school. How could she have been that fat?
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