.::Snowy::.
Well-known member
100 'I Shall Not..' rules to follow at Hogwarts. this is funny/
1) Seamus Finnigan is not after my lucky charms.
2) I do not weigh the same as a duck. Nor should I try to act like one.
3) "I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.
4) I will not sing "we're off to see the wizard" when sent to the Headmaster's office.
5) I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class. it will not get me extra credit.
6) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss.
7) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda.
8 ) Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar, especially one with metal spikes....no matter how attractive I think it is.
9) First years are not allowed to be fed to Fluffy, and I am not to tell them that it is their responsibility.
10) I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his "time of the month", no matter how sympathetic i think i am to the situation.
11) I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals.
12) I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin quidditch matches, nor will I lead the stand in a rousing chorus of it.
13) The Giant Squid is not an approriate date to the Yule Ball. he was grabby anyway.
14) When Death-Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout "To the Bat Mobile, Robin!".
15) When a classmate falls asleep, I shall not take advantage of the fact and draw a Dark Mark on his arm.
16) It's not necessary for me to yell "BURN!" every time Snape takes house points from Gryffindor.
17) Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is simply coincidental. At least that's what they want you to think....
18 ) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny. Even if he is wearing an orange anorak.
19) I will not refer to the Weasley Twins as "bookends" nor will I use them as such.
20) I will not dress up in a Dementor's suit and use a dust buster on Harry's lips to make him do what I want.
21) I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my older brother's old Calculus book.
22) I will not hold my wand in the air before I casting spells shouting "I got the power!"
23) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that the Knights who say Ni have challenged him to a duel and then have students yell "Ni!" from various directions.
24) I am not Xena: Warrior Princess and I shall not use war cries to signal my entrance when I enter a classroom...no matter how amusing the reaction.
25) Its not necessary fro me to yell "Bam!" every time I apparate.
26) I will not steal Gryffindors’s sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallway.
27) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music when wandering the halls. Nor am i allowed to use the theme from Mission Impossible.
28 ) "To conquer the earth with flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice. (Thank you for destroying my dream.)
29) I am not allowed to begin Herbology class by singing the theme song to "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" or songs from The Veggie Tales.
30) I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs.
31) The Whomping Willow is not an Entwife nor will it talk to you. I must not tell this to first years.
32) "Draco Malfoy, Take it up the A**" is not an acceptable quidditch chant.
33) I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween. Or Lucius Malfoy. Or Hitler.
34) I am not allowed to lock Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy in a closet to see if hot snogging will occur.
34) It is a mad idea to tell Professor McGonagall that she takes herself to seriously.
35) "Ya'll check this crud out!" is not an appropriate way to announce that I am about to conduct an experimental spell
36) I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life" to Voldemort.
37) I will not offer to pose nude for Collin Creevy.
38 ) I am no longer allowed to use the words "pimp cane" in front of Draco Malfoy.
39) Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera.
40) Dumbledore does not have "nakie time".
41) Bringing fortune cookies to Divinations class does not count as extra credit.
42)My name is not "Dark-Lord Happy Pants" and I shall not sign my papers as such.
43) I will not attempt to magically animate my marshmallow peeps. (Why Chocolate Frogs are allowed and not these is beyond me.)
44) I will not lock Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room and make bets on who will come out alive.
45) I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintball.
46) Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the residential ghosts
47) I will not use first year Slytherins and Gryffindors as Christmas lights
48 ) I will not refer to the Accio charm as "the Force".
49) There is not, nor was there ever, a fifth house at Hogwarts. Nor am I in that house or the founder of it.
50) I will not put books of muggle fairy-tales in the history section of the library
51) When fighting the Death Eater in the annual June battle of Good vs. Evil, I will not lift my wand skyward and yell "There can only be ONE!"
52) I am not the Defense Against the Boring Classes teacher.
53) I will not take a life insurance policy out on behalf of Harry Potter.
54) I will not wear A MUDBLOOD AND PROUD OF IT on my shirt to Death Eaters meetings and act surprised when they attack me.
55) I am not allowed to make light-saber sounds with my wand
56) I will not tell first years that they should build a tree-house in the whomping willow
57) I will not teach the house elves how to impersonate Jar Jar Binks
58 ) I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort...Especially if Harry Potter's life is in the bargain...
59) I will not follow potions instructions backwards just to see what will happen
60) I will not use silencing charms on my professors.
61. I will not go up to professors randomly and do the "Where's the baby" face from Ice Age.
62. I will not perform "vulgar" puppet shows for the first years.
63. I will not scream bloody murder everytime I see Filch
64. I am not to refer to Professor Snape as "Sevvie darlingest" in my Barbie voice.
65. I will not go skinny-dipping in the lake with Hagrid's dog Fang and the Giant Squid
66. I will not wear pants that are six sizes too big, fill them with bubble wrap, and go around Hogwarts causing general idiocy.
67. I will not kiss any of my teachers pasionately, especially not the female ones.
68.I will not dress up in a sleeping bag and run around Hogwarts Grounds without knowing where I am going
69. I will not get really hyped up and roll around in the great hall and laugh saying that Snape would look so funny as a puppet for Sesame Street.
70. I will not ride around Hogwarts in an uncontrollable cart going really fast with no breaks, and chase Snape around while causing general chaos.
71. I will not pretend to be a deer in hunting season
72. I will not gather my roommates in the Great Hall to do a ‘Who’s Line is it Anyway’ Hogwarts style
73. I will not throw a surprise party for Snape and write him romantic poems.
74. I will not laugh hysterically in a serious moment.
75. I will not purposefully run face on into every wall I see.
76. I will not walk up to random first and second year students and scream ‘YOU PUT A DENT IN MY CAN!’
77. I will not challenge random people to duels with gift wrap tubes at Christmas.
78. Growing weed while not get me extra credit in Herbology.
79. I will not give the professors note telling them to check their flies.
80. I will not make popping sounds with my mouth(like Donkey from Shrek)and laugh when the teacher gives you a funny look.
81. I will not look at the ceiling for along time, and when I see other people looking at the ceiling too, trying to figure it out, say "What are you looking at?".
82. I will not install fake surveillance cameras in the prefects' bathrooms.
83. I will not grimace painfully while smacking my forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!" while around the younger students.
84. I will not answer the professors' questions with meows.
85. I will not stare at the first years for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the room.
86. I will not offer name-tags to students coming in the Great Hall, and wear mine upside-down.
87. I will not draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other students that this is my "personal space."
88. I will not get a black dog, name it Grim, and take it to Divination class.
89. I will not throw my voice into the Divination professor's crystal ball and in a squeaky voice say that the "Fates are on hold."
90. I will not invent a cereal. There are no such thing as Voldios, and they are not magically delicious.
91. I will not prank call Voldemort and say: “This is Hermione, and I called to say that I can’t hide it any longer: Voldemort, you are hot!’"
92. I will not write my Head of house a love letter signed "Chuck Norris".
93. I will not yell "Pick me! Pick me!" when Snape hands out detentions.
94. I will not use sticking charms to attach feminine products to Snape's shoes.
95. I will not tell the Slytherins to go snog a Dementor.
96. I will not sing The Song That Never Ends. While drunk. In the Great Hall. To the first years....
97. I will not wait for Snape to run away from me to yell "Why are you doing this, Severus? YOU KNOW THIS IS YOUR BABY!"
98. I will not pay the house elves to follow random students and sing love songs.
99. I will not send Snape love notes signed "Wormtail".
1) Seamus Finnigan is not after my lucky charms.
2) I do not weigh the same as a duck. Nor should I try to act like one.
3) "I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.
4) I will not sing "we're off to see the wizard" when sent to the Headmaster's office.
5) I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class. it will not get me extra credit.
6) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss.
7) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda.
8 ) Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar, especially one with metal spikes....no matter how attractive I think it is.
9) First years are not allowed to be fed to Fluffy, and I am not to tell them that it is their responsibility.
10) I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his "time of the month", no matter how sympathetic i think i am to the situation.
11) I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals.
12) I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin quidditch matches, nor will I lead the stand in a rousing chorus of it.
13) The Giant Squid is not an approriate date to the Yule Ball. he was grabby anyway.
14) When Death-Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout "To the Bat Mobile, Robin!".
15) When a classmate falls asleep, I shall not take advantage of the fact and draw a Dark Mark on his arm.
16) It's not necessary for me to yell "BURN!" every time Snape takes house points from Gryffindor.
17) Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is simply coincidental. At least that's what they want you to think....
18 ) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny. Even if he is wearing an orange anorak.
19) I will not refer to the Weasley Twins as "bookends" nor will I use them as such.
20) I will not dress up in a Dementor's suit and use a dust buster on Harry's lips to make him do what I want.
21) I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my older brother's old Calculus book.
22) I will not hold my wand in the air before I casting spells shouting "I got the power!"
23) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that the Knights who say Ni have challenged him to a duel and then have students yell "Ni!" from various directions.
24) I am not Xena: Warrior Princess and I shall not use war cries to signal my entrance when I enter a classroom...no matter how amusing the reaction.
25) Its not necessary fro me to yell "Bam!" every time I apparate.
26) I will not steal Gryffindors’s sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallway.
27) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music when wandering the halls. Nor am i allowed to use the theme from Mission Impossible.
28 ) "To conquer the earth with flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice. (Thank you for destroying my dream.)
29) I am not allowed to begin Herbology class by singing the theme song to "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" or songs from The Veggie Tales.
30) I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs.
31) The Whomping Willow is not an Entwife nor will it talk to you. I must not tell this to first years.
32) "Draco Malfoy, Take it up the A**" is not an acceptable quidditch chant.
33) I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween. Or Lucius Malfoy. Or Hitler.
34) I am not allowed to lock Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy in a closet to see if hot snogging will occur.
34) It is a mad idea to tell Professor McGonagall that she takes herself to seriously.
35) "Ya'll check this crud out!" is not an appropriate way to announce that I am about to conduct an experimental spell
36) I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life" to Voldemort.
37) I will not offer to pose nude for Collin Creevy.
38 ) I am no longer allowed to use the words "pimp cane" in front of Draco Malfoy.
39) Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera.
40) Dumbledore does not have "nakie time".
41) Bringing fortune cookies to Divinations class does not count as extra credit.
42)My name is not "Dark-Lord Happy Pants" and I shall not sign my papers as such.
43) I will not attempt to magically animate my marshmallow peeps. (Why Chocolate Frogs are allowed and not these is beyond me.)
44) I will not lock Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room and make bets on who will come out alive.
45) I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintball.
46) Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the residential ghosts
47) I will not use first year Slytherins and Gryffindors as Christmas lights
48 ) I will not refer to the Accio charm as "the Force".
49) There is not, nor was there ever, a fifth house at Hogwarts. Nor am I in that house or the founder of it.
50) I will not put books of muggle fairy-tales in the history section of the library
51) When fighting the Death Eater in the annual June battle of Good vs. Evil, I will not lift my wand skyward and yell "There can only be ONE!"
52) I am not the Defense Against the Boring Classes teacher.
53) I will not take a life insurance policy out on behalf of Harry Potter.
54) I will not wear A MUDBLOOD AND PROUD OF IT on my shirt to Death Eaters meetings and act surprised when they attack me.
55) I am not allowed to make light-saber sounds with my wand
56) I will not tell first years that they should build a tree-house in the whomping willow
57) I will not teach the house elves how to impersonate Jar Jar Binks
58 ) I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort...Especially if Harry Potter's life is in the bargain...
59) I will not follow potions instructions backwards just to see what will happen
60) I will not use silencing charms on my professors.
61. I will not go up to professors randomly and do the "Where's the baby" face from Ice Age.
62. I will not perform "vulgar" puppet shows for the first years.
63. I will not scream bloody murder everytime I see Filch
64. I am not to refer to Professor Snape as "Sevvie darlingest" in my Barbie voice.
65. I will not go skinny-dipping in the lake with Hagrid's dog Fang and the Giant Squid
66. I will not wear pants that are six sizes too big, fill them with bubble wrap, and go around Hogwarts causing general idiocy.
67. I will not kiss any of my teachers pasionately, especially not the female ones.
68.I will not dress up in a sleeping bag and run around Hogwarts Grounds without knowing where I am going
69. I will not get really hyped up and roll around in the great hall and laugh saying that Snape would look so funny as a puppet for Sesame Street.
70. I will not ride around Hogwarts in an uncontrollable cart going really fast with no breaks, and chase Snape around while causing general chaos.
71. I will not pretend to be a deer in hunting season
72. I will not gather my roommates in the Great Hall to do a ‘Who’s Line is it Anyway’ Hogwarts style
73. I will not throw a surprise party for Snape and write him romantic poems.
74. I will not laugh hysterically in a serious moment.
75. I will not purposefully run face on into every wall I see.
76. I will not walk up to random first and second year students and scream ‘YOU PUT A DENT IN MY CAN!’
77. I will not challenge random people to duels with gift wrap tubes at Christmas.
78. Growing weed while not get me extra credit in Herbology.
79. I will not give the professors note telling them to check their flies.
80. I will not make popping sounds with my mouth(like Donkey from Shrek)and laugh when the teacher gives you a funny look.
81. I will not look at the ceiling for along time, and when I see other people looking at the ceiling too, trying to figure it out, say "What are you looking at?".
82. I will not install fake surveillance cameras in the prefects' bathrooms.
83. I will not grimace painfully while smacking my forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!" while around the younger students.
84. I will not answer the professors' questions with meows.
85. I will not stare at the first years for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the room.
86. I will not offer name-tags to students coming in the Great Hall, and wear mine upside-down.
87. I will not draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other students that this is my "personal space."
88. I will not get a black dog, name it Grim, and take it to Divination class.
89. I will not throw my voice into the Divination professor's crystal ball and in a squeaky voice say that the "Fates are on hold."
90. I will not invent a cereal. There are no such thing as Voldios, and they are not magically delicious.
91. I will not prank call Voldemort and say: “This is Hermione, and I called to say that I can’t hide it any longer: Voldemort, you are hot!’"
92. I will not write my Head of house a love letter signed "Chuck Norris".
93. I will not yell "Pick me! Pick me!" when Snape hands out detentions.
94. I will not use sticking charms to attach feminine products to Snape's shoes.
95. I will not tell the Slytherins to go snog a Dementor.
96. I will not sing The Song That Never Ends. While drunk. In the Great Hall. To the first years....
97. I will not wait for Snape to run away from me to yell "Why are you doing this, Severus? YOU KNOW THIS IS YOUR BABY!"
98. I will not pay the house elves to follow random students and sing love songs.
99. I will not send Snape love notes signed "Wormtail".
