A lost heart

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Chatterbox

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TamaTalk Angelgotchi
Joined
Feb 5, 2006
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Location
Columbia, MO
My story:

My friend Seiga used to live where I live. My sister, he, and I would always go over to each others houses. We didn't have a care in the world, happily playing PS2 and legos, slurping drinkable Danimals yogurt, or just laying down in the lush grass and looking up at the sky.

I think my sister and I have always kind of had crushes on him. He was just so silly! ...but I always felt kind of out of place, because I was way younger than him and my sister....

Then he moved away.

It crushed everyone's heart, not being able to see his bubbly face or to hear his naive laughter. I see him in my dreams all the time, and when I wake up, he's gone again.

My sister. She's always been a jerk to me. Telling me that I'm just a naive little girl or that I'm stupid. Laughing out loud at my love for anime and manga, and telling me that I just waste my time. She'll never know how sly I am. That I secretly hack into her accounts and read the email messages between her and Seiga. She's all sweet to him, all the time. He'll never know. He'd never believe me if I told him.

I love him so much and miss him, but the bond between my sister and he is growing stronger day by day. It's suffocating me.

I don't know what to do, but I'm glad I could share my story..

I wish he could see me now...how much I've grown and changed.

Maybe then he'd love me.

 
[SIZE=7pt]you could always hack her email and pretend to be her while giving him rude emails and stuff like that..[/SIZE]

If he likes her, he likes her. It's not her fault. If they love each other than there is'nt really anything you can or should do. Let him go.

 
you type a mini diary thing online about your sister's abusement or whatever and then "accidentally" allow it to fall into his hands.

Actually, don't do that. If your sister is truly just plain mean, he'll figure it out soon enough. If he doesn't, just let him go.

 
Aww... -pats Chatter- But you'll always have me. 8D

 

Perhaps you should write him E-mails and try to increase your bond with him...

 
Uh... wait a second... your older sister is mean because she laughs at your hobbies and thinks you are naive and stupid ... :(

(I think there might be quite a few members with sisters/brothers like that... it kind of comes with older siblings...)

You, however, hack into her email account and read through her private, personal correspondence ... ?? :eek:

I'm really sorry Chatterbox, but I'm having trouble seeing how that makes you better than her, or a nicer person than her and more worthy of this guy's attention... :eek:

(If you don't want their growing relaltionship to suffocate you, don't read about it).

 
I know.

But the thing is, I wish my sister WOULD be nicer to me. I live in a small house with my grandma, aunt, uncle, mom, dad, and sister. I'm always being pushed aside, not ever being taken seriously, or being yelled at when I cry. I don't have people to turn to when I'm down, and to see my sister being RUDE to me kind of just makes me...angry. When I try to go up to her and start a nice, normal, conversation...she's always saying something rude back.

My parents don't even like Seiga. And I don't know why. Well, why should I be surprised? They're not normal in any way. They only love me for what I do for them, they'll never love me for me. They only congratulate me when I get into good math classes, not when I get the high score on my DDR game. My dad told me he doesn't care about how I feel now, he only cares about what I'll become in the future. He only cares about my future self.

And I hack into my sister's accounts because I'm fed up. Fed up with all of this. And she's not even SUPPOSED to have all these accounts, my parents would never allow it. But, alas, she's the older one. The older one that gets the good phone, the good mp3 player, the good laptop. Not the one with the hand-me-down Compaq and a broken Sansa.

I get it though. I'm mean and undeserving. It's okay.

 
I get it though. I'm mean and undeserving. It's okay.
Ok, your just being dramatic now. Of course. Older sisters are mean. I am one. But you just have to move on. Trust me. You younger siblings are seriously annoying too. And you are no different from any other younger sibling. And once you get old enough, nobody cares when you cry. And from your point of view and the state your in it probably feels worse than it actually is. So keep your head up like your nose is bleeding, and look on the bright side of things. Try to achomplish stuff too, your parents will respect you more.

 
Oh, Chatter ;-; I'm sorry that your friend moved away. I really don't know what other to say than I'm sorry...

-Mew

 
My parents will never respect me, unless I'm their robot and give in to all of their commands.

Right after I wrote my last post I went to go eat breakfast.

Right when I walk in, my sister says to me, "Gosh, mami (our aunt), always has to make breakfast. Can't you ever make something? You can't make anything! You're so useless..."

I just kind of sighed and looked out the window, where the sky is blue and clear, which made me feel a little better...in the midst of my sadness.

CB

PS: thanks Mew...

 
Ok, your just being dramatic now. Of course. Older sisters are mean. I am one. But you just have to move on. Trust me. You younger siblings are seriously annoying too. And you are no different from any other younger sibling. And once you get old enough, nobody cares when you cry. And from your point of view and the state your in it probably feels worse than it actually is. So keep your head up like your nose is bleeding, and look on the bright side of things. Try to achomplish stuff too, your parents will respect you more.
I agree with Phobo and TM on this. Especially with looking at someone else's email. That doesn't make you any better than your sister. I'm not on great terms with my sister and at times she's been rude when I've seeked her help and she rarely associates with our family anymore. She's far gone in Kitchener. That doesn't give me the right to sneak into her emails or "hack" anything on her end to snoop around. She respects my privacy at the very least and I do the same.

I highly suggest you stop with the reading emails when you shouldn't and read everything you've told us so far. Then look at yourself in the mirror. Do you really think this is about your friend now or do you think it's a bit more than that? Like finding acceptance from anyone who's willing to listen and take you for what you are? That's the vibe I'm getting. Everyone's felt like this at least one time in their lives and those who say they haven't are lying.

Look for the positives in your life instead of wallowing in sorrow attempting to get pity or whatever it is you're trying to seek on here, and cut the dramatics. Not being hard on you, just being straightforward.

 
I agree with Phobo and TM on this. Especially with looking at someone else's email. That doesn't make you any better than your sister. I'm not on great terms with my sister and at times she's been rude when I've seeked her help and she rarely associates with our family anymore. She's far gone in Kitchener. That doesn't give me the right to sneak into her emails or "hack" anything on her end to snoop around. She respects my privacy at the very least and I do the same.
I highly suggest you stop with the reading emails when you shouldn't and read everything you've told us so far. Then look at yourself in the mirror. Do you really think this is about your friend now or do you think it's a bit more than that? Like finding acceptance from anyone who's willing to listen and take you for what you are? That's the vibe I'm getting. Everyone's felt like this at least one time in their lives and those who say they haven't are lying.

Look for the positives in your life instead of wallowing in sorrow attempting to get pity or whatever it is you're trying to seek on here, and cut the dramatics. Not being hard on you, just being straightforward.
I agree with TigerLily013. :D

 
Ah, well..

I guess I shouldn't have expected you guys to truly understand how I feel, or maybe I wasn't good enough at explaining.

Thank you anyways though, I really appreciate it. :)

CB

 
I know that it doesn't really have to do with the topic... but I know how you feel. Not the boy, but about family and... stuff.

I'm not the youngest, but the oldest. I have responsibilities thrust apon me, and when i can't carry through, I get yelled at. I don't feel like I'm that important to the family, but I've been trying. I'm not that respected... Even though my sister is younger, she's pretty bad to me... and she's good at it. There's a lot to say, and I don't really like to say it, but I know how you feel. It's not exactly the same, but... yeah. Sorry I have'nt helped o.o

 
I know that it doesn't really have to do with the topic... but I know how you feel. Not the boy, but about family and... stuff.
I'm not the youngest, but the oldest. I have responsibilities thrust apon me, and when i can't carry through, I get yelled at. I don't feel like I'm that important to the family, but I've been trying. I'm not that respected... Even though my sister is younger, she's pretty bad to me... and she's good at it. There's a lot to say, and I don't really like to say it, but I know how you feel. It's not exactly the same, but... yeah. Sorry I have'nt helped o.o
On the contrary, blueslip, I would hope that your comments show that Chatterbox is not alone in these thoughts and experiences.

They may not be directly helpful, but if CB looks through most of the replies, she will see that everyone seems to have or have had problems with a sibling or parents that don't seem to care or respect our ideas or feelings ...

Everyone has problems of their own that they carry around with them and as we grow we learn to deal with them in different ways.

I'm sad that Chatterbox is having these things to deal with in her life, but as members of TamaTalk and as ppl she knows, I think we also have a responsibility to tell her - or anyone else - when we disagree with a perspective and when we think something is just plain wrong :rolleyes:

There's been no offence intended; perhaps just a little more "home truths" than Chatterbox was expecting ?

 
Right when I walk in, my sister says to me, "Gosh, mami (our aunt), always has to make breakfast. Can't you ever make something? You can't make anything! You're so useless..."
=[ That's really mean. I feel so bad for you. I truthfully dislike my parents, but I somehow manage to just pretend that I do. So, I kinda know how you feel with how your dad doesn't care about your DDR score, because my dad wouldn't either. On my birthday, he took a nap when we were supposed to be doing things. He took like a 4 hour nap till dinner. >.> I just don't think he cares that much, I know he loves me, but he just is self consumed.

 
Ah, well..
I guess I shouldn't have expected you guys to truly understand how I feel, or maybe I wasn't good enough at explaining.

Thank you anyways though, I really appreciate it. :p

CB
I think it's been proven a number of times in this topic including myself that we can relate to you very closely when it comes to verbally abusive siblings. Personally I think you need to stop the pity party and start looking into working on youself and your self esteem :) We do understand, but it appears your negative approach to all of this is not being seen by clear eyes.

 
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Is it really that bad?

Well hacking into your sister's account is wrong. But who has not done it? :)

Talk to your parents and stuff they should love for who you are and about the guy, get his email and keep in touch but don't you and your sister both get into the love emails with him because he's in a awkward position too. Probaly worse than you.

How far away did he move would you ever see him again?

 
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