Big Decision Ahead

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ta9394

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Well, my parents are divorced. My dad remarried, and I live with my dad, stepmother, stepbrothers, stepsister, and real sister.

I am 12, and when I am 13 I have to choose who I am going to live with until I am 18.

The problem is, my mom is not religous. She smokes, drinks sometimes, and is pretty much a bad influence. I go down to her house every summer, and she takes me to do alot of fun things, (disneyland ect.) she even told me that she cries at night when i am not there with her (talk about making me sad for her) She has been married 3 times, counting my dad.

On the other hand, my dad and family I am living with is great! They are LDS (latter day saints) they have really high standards, and I have been baptised and am a devoted LDS member. Though we don't get to do fun things that often, I am more comfortable around them. I am never pressured to do something that would be bad for me. (drinking, ect.)

I am leaning towards living with my dad, but i think it will break my momma's heart. HELP!

 
Hmm... It does sound like a really hard decision. Stuck between a rock and a hard place, eh?

Well, think: Who do you think is able to fully support you for 5 years? It could be both. I think you should talk to both of your parents about it. And, talk freely with both about your opinions. Ask what they think too. You can also talk to some close friends about it. ;)

I hope it all works out for you, both your parents, and all your possible step-family too. Best of wishes.

 
Every time I talk about it, i cry. So I try to avoid it. It is hard. My dad gave me a blessing about it 2 weeks ago though.

 
Heather's opinion! :huh:

You need to do whatever you think is the best thing. It sounds to me that you'd be better at your dad's. You're not around bad behavior or things that will badly influence you.

Even if you don't get to do fun things often, it seems like you'd be better off with your dad.

Being around drinking and smoking at a young age can be hard to deal with later on. Also, at your dad's it sounds like you have a religious backing to lean on if things get hard, where at your mom's I don't think you would, or at least it doesn't sound so.

*If you think/feel this way*

You just need to tell your mom that you think it would be best for you to stay at your dad's. It sounds to me like a healthier environment for you to grow up in.

 
Well my advice is to follow your heart, not your mum's, not your dad's, yours.

You'll still be able to see the other parent wont you?

I think that your dad sounds the better parent for you to live in.

 
Ask if both family's can stay together!Don't feel bad!

If something happins to my parents I either go to:

•Pennsyvania and never come back here at TT!(never get to see them.)

•Grandma (if I don't go there I wil break her heart!)

•Aunt and Uncle and never come back to TT!(live across the street from Grandma!)

 
Thanks ya'll for your help! (i can't ask them to stay together! My dad already re-married)

I think i will choose my dad.

THANK YOU!

 
Ta9394: I am so sorry. I think its a really better decision to stay with ur dad. Because I mean think of it this way. The reason you are on earth is because Heavenly Father is seeing if you will follow his plan and live in the Gospel. Right? So if you go live with ur mom it sounds like she will kind of be taking away that. Like I mean you wont go to church, mutual, babtize for the dead, blessings, and everything will be gone. I am sure ur mom is a wonderful woman. But I think ur dad is a better plan to stay with. I would prey about it and see what happens. But earth is only a test. I know its hard. But there is always problems and you told Heavenly Father you would except them. And unforunitaly some are harder than others. And this is one of the hard ones. But I think you should stay with ur dad. And still visit ur mom. I am not saying this because I live where you live and if you move we wont see eachother. But I am saying this because I think it will be a lot easier and Heavenly Father would want you to live with ur dad. And you have friends here and you are doing good in this enviorment and you are well taught and you have a church living family and love in ur home. So if it was me I would stay with ur dad. I bet ur mom will understand. Like it says in the Book of Mormon. Dont be something just because ur parents are be what u believe in. Because ur mom probably isnt the best romodel right now. But I am sure she is a GREAT person and will take care of you greatly. But ur dad will do everything she does and also chooses the right. Good luck. And remember to prey about it.

ur friend/ Animallover45

 
I think that your better off with your dad. So what if you don't have as much fun? Your dad seems better for you. Tell your om that you love her with all your heart, but you think your dad is a bettwer enviroment for you, as he doesn't drink and smoke.

 
Why dont you halve it? 2 1/2 with your mum 2 1/2 with your dad??

 
I think that would be too much hassle..

Your dad sounds a better enviroment. But make sure to let your mom know you still love her in a special way.

 
I agree with everyone's opinion here. I know it is hard for you mother to be going through so much, but she will understand because she will want what is best for you, and in this case it's living with your dad. Be sure to call her lots and things like that, and when you say "I love you" make sure you mean because it will mean the world.

 
Live with your mom. Religon sucks.

 
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I think your dad's house would be a better decision, since it is a better enviorment. You can still do some fun things with your dad, like ask him to go outside and play if the weather is nice. He should do that, right? Plus, you can always visit your mother and make sure she knows you still love her just as much.

Phew! What a hard decision. But this is only my opinion. Choose whatever you really think you should do, and tell us how things are going!

 
tell ur mom (in private) that you would like to stay with her but that u cant 'cause she drinks and does drugs. tell her if she will quit drugs that is the only way for her to have a chance of living with u. every day ur at her house secretly throw away 1 cigarate and dump out a bit of alcihol. this will help her quit drugs. -_- she'll gradwally get away from it. (if she goes away from it to quikly she'll get RELLY sick.) :(

 
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