I'm writing this for a short story contest, let me know what you think. It's called "Crush"
I was basically shaking with excitement as I waited for the Valentines Day Dance. This was going to be great! I had a red dress that had little white ribbons at the waist, and it was ruffled in all the right places, with white two inch straps. My friend, Julia, put a hand on my shoulder.
“Calm down you spaz.” She giggled. “We’re gonna be in there soon.”
“I know! But I have such a rush! I’m so excited! I love the Valentines Day Dance, it’s so fun. Plus…” I cut myself off, not wanting to reveal my secret.
“Plus you’re gonna get to dance with this mysterious crush you haven’t been dropping hints about!” Julia said, her voice mocking, but I could tell there was a sense of impatience.
“You’ll find out when we get in there. If he lets me dance with him… It’ll be really obvious…” I acted defeated, but my true secret was safe so a wave of relief hit me. It’s not the easiest thing hiding the fact you’re a vampire. I’ve trained myself not to be tempted by blood, and, luckily, I can age, unlike some vampires.
“Well now I’m anxious to get in.” Julia started fidgeting. We waited a few more minutes and we got to the front of the line. The person at the desk checked off our names and we hurried into the gym. The sight made me smile.
It was really dark, but you could still see. They were playing American Boy by Estelle. There were red streamers and red hearts all around. There were already a lot of people dancing. It was so hard to describe with words how amazing it looked. It was totally romantic.
“Come on!” Julia shattered my thoughts as she grabbed my hand pulled me into the crowd of people dancing. Eventually we found our group of friends and started dancing in the group. After a couple of songs, the DJ grabbed the microphone.
“SNOWBALL!” he bellowed into the mic. I glanced at Julia; my expression was totally excited then walked to my left. On my left there was one long straight line that only girls were lined up in and on my right there was the same thing, except with boys. I heard the DJ bellow “SNOWBALL!” again. Julia was standing next to me.
“Get ready to find out.” I whispered. She smiled. Crush by David Archuleta started playing. Of course, about 6 boys immediately went over to a girl and they automatically started slow dancing. Couples, of course. I wriggled with eagerness, searching the boys’ line for my crush. A boy with black hair, and slight acne was in front of my Julia. It was Jake, the hottest and most popular guy in school. He’s a really nice guy.
“Do you wanna dance?” he asked her. Julia looked at me with an amazed and truly happy smile, calmed down then looked back at Jake.
“Of course.” She said. They walked out into the dance floor and started slow dancing. I watched them until I heard a voice in front of me. I turned to see my crush smiling at me. He was taller than me by a few inches, with brown hair swishing to the side, and brown eyes.
“Can I dance with you?” he asked.
“It’d be my pleasure.” I replied. He smiled and took my hand. He lead me next to where Julia and Jake were. He hugged me with his arms around my waist, and my arms around his neck and we began swaying. When me and Julia momentarily came face to face, she mouthed to me Luke?! I nodded and kept swaying. The song is only, like, 3:33 minutes, but it felt like a lifetime. A lifetime, with happiness filling it.
The song, sadly, eventually ended. We stopped swaying but Luke hugged me for about 10 more seconds, then pulled away.
“Thank you so much.” He said, his soft voice soothing me. I smiled, closing my eyes, and when I opened them, he was gone. He always did this, which made me love him even more. He was so mysterious, you wouldn’t believe it. I backed away from the spot, the smile still on my face and I stumbled around until I found Julia, who pulled me to the side.
“Luke? Luke. Luke?!” she questioned.
“What…?” I murmured, shuffling my feet.
“Why do you like him? He’s so… creepy…” Julia shuddered.
“I like him for my own reasons, just like you like Jake for your reasons.” I stated simply. I had rehearsed this at home, knowing Julia was going to ask me that.
“Speaking of Jake. In the middle of the dance, he asked me out! Me and Jake are boyfriend and girlfriend now!” Julia exclaimed happily.
“That’s great!” I smiled, still blown away by Luke.
“Come on, let’s go dance!” Julia grabbed my arm and we started dancing in the group again. Of course, Hannah, the queen of gossip, kept shooting question after question at me about Luke. I just ignored her, and she turned her focus on Julia, who happily answered questions about Jake. I glanced over at Jake who was chattering with his friends, Cooper and Gabe. He occasionally glanced over here, and I knew he was telling them about Julia. I cocked my head in his direction slightly and listened. Being a vampire had it’s advantages.
“…said yes! So I pulled her out into the middle of the dance floor and we started dancing. Eventually, Luke came next to us, so I murmured real quiet in her ear ‘Will you be my girlfriend?’ and she said yes! I’m so happy, I’ve been crushing on her for so long, and now we finally get to go out.” Jake said, glancing over at Julia every time he said “her”, “girlfriend”, and “she”. I smiled. Jake really cared about my friend, so I wouldn’t have to hurt him in case he was using her. Ah, being 13 is really quite fun. But weird, oh yes, definitely weird! My favorite song, Scream by Tokio Hotel played, just before the DJ grabbed the mic.
“SNOWBALL!” I heard him bellow. Stop and Stare by One Republic was starting to play. I went back to the exact same spot as last time. This time, 7 guys immediantly started dancing with girls, considering Jake wasn’t afraid to ask Julia right away anymore. I watched them dance until I felt somebody take my hand and lead me to the same spot as last time. I turned to see Luke. I put my arms around his neck and hugged him, his arms around my waist. Instead of letting me rest my head on his shoulder, he pressed his forehead against mine gently, so the tips of our noses were touching. I heard a couple people next to us take some pictures on their phones. I ignored them, keeping my yellow eyes locked with his shockingly blue eyes. When my bangs got in the way of my eyes, he would brush them back behind my ear. The song ended, but we didn’t stop swaying. Even though the song was an incredibly fast one, we kept our slow sway going steady.
“Will you please be my girlfriend?” Luke murmured, closing his eyes softly. Mine widened a fraction.
“I would love that.” I whispered to him. He opened his eyes, and they were full of true happiness. He pushed his lips softly to mine and for a moment, we stood their, kissing. I heard the gasps of people around me. He pulled away, but kept his face close to mine. He said four words, which were the most magical words, I’ve ever heard in my life.
“I love you, Camille.”
I forbid anybody to use any part or the idea of this short story.
What do you think?
(btw I put that "I forbid anybody" thing because I don't want anybody to steal my story)
I was basically shaking with excitement as I waited for the Valentines Day Dance. This was going to be great! I had a red dress that had little white ribbons at the waist, and it was ruffled in all the right places, with white two inch straps. My friend, Julia, put a hand on my shoulder.
“Calm down you spaz.” She giggled. “We’re gonna be in there soon.”
“I know! But I have such a rush! I’m so excited! I love the Valentines Day Dance, it’s so fun. Plus…” I cut myself off, not wanting to reveal my secret.
“Plus you’re gonna get to dance with this mysterious crush you haven’t been dropping hints about!” Julia said, her voice mocking, but I could tell there was a sense of impatience.
“You’ll find out when we get in there. If he lets me dance with him… It’ll be really obvious…” I acted defeated, but my true secret was safe so a wave of relief hit me. It’s not the easiest thing hiding the fact you’re a vampire. I’ve trained myself not to be tempted by blood, and, luckily, I can age, unlike some vampires.
“Well now I’m anxious to get in.” Julia started fidgeting. We waited a few more minutes and we got to the front of the line. The person at the desk checked off our names and we hurried into the gym. The sight made me smile.
It was really dark, but you could still see. They were playing American Boy by Estelle. There were red streamers and red hearts all around. There were already a lot of people dancing. It was so hard to describe with words how amazing it looked. It was totally romantic.
“Come on!” Julia shattered my thoughts as she grabbed my hand pulled me into the crowd of people dancing. Eventually we found our group of friends and started dancing in the group. After a couple of songs, the DJ grabbed the microphone.
“SNOWBALL!” he bellowed into the mic. I glanced at Julia; my expression was totally excited then walked to my left. On my left there was one long straight line that only girls were lined up in and on my right there was the same thing, except with boys. I heard the DJ bellow “SNOWBALL!” again. Julia was standing next to me.
“Get ready to find out.” I whispered. She smiled. Crush by David Archuleta started playing. Of course, about 6 boys immediately went over to a girl and they automatically started slow dancing. Couples, of course. I wriggled with eagerness, searching the boys’ line for my crush. A boy with black hair, and slight acne was in front of my Julia. It was Jake, the hottest and most popular guy in school. He’s a really nice guy.
“Do you wanna dance?” he asked her. Julia looked at me with an amazed and truly happy smile, calmed down then looked back at Jake.
“Of course.” She said. They walked out into the dance floor and started slow dancing. I watched them until I heard a voice in front of me. I turned to see my crush smiling at me. He was taller than me by a few inches, with brown hair swishing to the side, and brown eyes.
“Can I dance with you?” he asked.
“It’d be my pleasure.” I replied. He smiled and took my hand. He lead me next to where Julia and Jake were. He hugged me with his arms around my waist, and my arms around his neck and we began swaying. When me and Julia momentarily came face to face, she mouthed to me Luke?! I nodded and kept swaying. The song is only, like, 3:33 minutes, but it felt like a lifetime. A lifetime, with happiness filling it.
The song, sadly, eventually ended. We stopped swaying but Luke hugged me for about 10 more seconds, then pulled away.
“Thank you so much.” He said, his soft voice soothing me. I smiled, closing my eyes, and when I opened them, he was gone. He always did this, which made me love him even more. He was so mysterious, you wouldn’t believe it. I backed away from the spot, the smile still on my face and I stumbled around until I found Julia, who pulled me to the side.
“Luke? Luke. Luke?!” she questioned.
“What…?” I murmured, shuffling my feet.
“Why do you like him? He’s so… creepy…” Julia shuddered.
“I like him for my own reasons, just like you like Jake for your reasons.” I stated simply. I had rehearsed this at home, knowing Julia was going to ask me that.
“Speaking of Jake. In the middle of the dance, he asked me out! Me and Jake are boyfriend and girlfriend now!” Julia exclaimed happily.
“That’s great!” I smiled, still blown away by Luke.
“Come on, let’s go dance!” Julia grabbed my arm and we started dancing in the group again. Of course, Hannah, the queen of gossip, kept shooting question after question at me about Luke. I just ignored her, and she turned her focus on Julia, who happily answered questions about Jake. I glanced over at Jake who was chattering with his friends, Cooper and Gabe. He occasionally glanced over here, and I knew he was telling them about Julia. I cocked my head in his direction slightly and listened. Being a vampire had it’s advantages.
“…said yes! So I pulled her out into the middle of the dance floor and we started dancing. Eventually, Luke came next to us, so I murmured real quiet in her ear ‘Will you be my girlfriend?’ and she said yes! I’m so happy, I’ve been crushing on her for so long, and now we finally get to go out.” Jake said, glancing over at Julia every time he said “her”, “girlfriend”, and “she”. I smiled. Jake really cared about my friend, so I wouldn’t have to hurt him in case he was using her. Ah, being 13 is really quite fun. But weird, oh yes, definitely weird! My favorite song, Scream by Tokio Hotel played, just before the DJ grabbed the mic.
“SNOWBALL!” I heard him bellow. Stop and Stare by One Republic was starting to play. I went back to the exact same spot as last time. This time, 7 guys immediantly started dancing with girls, considering Jake wasn’t afraid to ask Julia right away anymore. I watched them dance until I felt somebody take my hand and lead me to the same spot as last time. I turned to see Luke. I put my arms around his neck and hugged him, his arms around my waist. Instead of letting me rest my head on his shoulder, he pressed his forehead against mine gently, so the tips of our noses were touching. I heard a couple people next to us take some pictures on their phones. I ignored them, keeping my yellow eyes locked with his shockingly blue eyes. When my bangs got in the way of my eyes, he would brush them back behind my ear. The song ended, but we didn’t stop swaying. Even though the song was an incredibly fast one, we kept our slow sway going steady.
“Will you please be my girlfriend?” Luke murmured, closing his eyes softly. Mine widened a fraction.
“I would love that.” I whispered to him. He opened his eyes, and they were full of true happiness. He pushed his lips softly to mine and for a moment, we stood their, kissing. I heard the gasps of people around me. He pulled away, but kept his face close to mine. He said four words, which were the most magical words, I’ve ever heard in my life.
“I love you, Camille.”
I forbid anybody to use any part or the idea of this short story.
What do you think?
(btw I put that "I forbid anybody" thing because I don't want anybody to steal my story)
