Dad's Dying

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Kiwitchi_Fan

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I ment to make this post a long time ago, but I just couldn't bring myself to it. It made me cry every time I tried to start, but I think Tamatalk deserves to know.

My dad has cancer- serious abdominal cancer that's impossible to treat. *gulp* Hecame out of the hospital since there's nothing they can do. And chemo doesn't work on this kind of cancer. His life expectancy is two weeks, since there's so much cancer and he can't eat anything. One week's already gone by. I don't know what to think. Every night I pray and pray for a miracle, knowing it's impossible. Most of my other online friends aren't too sympathetic about it. Okay enough with the calm talk I think I have to get it out:

OMG WHY ME??? WHY HIM?! HE'S THE BEST DAD IN THE WORLD WHY DOES HE HAVE TO HAVE STUPID CANCER?! HOW COME THEY CAN'T TREAT IT?! WHY DOES LIFE SUCK?!

My world's falling apart. ^_^ I can't imagine life without him. It's not.... fair. Why him? I hate cancer. WHY CAN'T I JUST PUNCH THE CANCER CELLS? THEY'RE TINY I WANT TO KILL THEM! I DON'T WANT HIM TO DIE!

And don't respond saying, "Maybe he won't die".

Because he will die. The hospital people confirmed it. One week left. It's awful.

Please don't PM me about this, or e-mail. If ya wanna show sympathy, do it here.

 
why me?

why him?

theres alot of that in the world, but things just happen. its very hard, but it does.

i am very sorry.

just make him as comfortable as possible make sure he knows you love him.

make his last days the best of his life.

life can suck, but try not to think about the end.

think about all the good times you have had together.

i will pray for you- that you and your family will be comforted.

God bless you!

 
omg... you poor soul(not sarcasticly) my mom and i work with relay for life the american cancer society. you should make a teem if you live in america. i suggest keeping a record of what you and him do for, sorry if this makes you feel worse, the last few days with him. this way you can remember the last days whith him... how old are you? :(

 
I'm REALLY sorry I know people who have gone threw that before. I know it is going to be very hard going threw life without him, I couldn't think of going threw life without one of my family members. Don't let this interfear with your life, though I realise it a BIG deal and that you will cry for a few days, even weeks! but I'm sure your dad would rather see you move on and be successful in life, then become nothing, because of him.

I.. I.. No I really don't know what to say that is TERRIBLE I can't bieleve you could type that whole thing, I would break down crying. I know what I just said about getting on with life, but I would probally not speak to anyone for days or weeks! Execept for my family and my dad! I'm REALLY sorry

-speachless-

KC7 :(

 
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Oh my god. I feel so sorry for you *hugs you so tight you squeak*. I guess you just have to accept that death is a part of life. Your father just fell victim to it earlier than planned. At least you know that he's going to die anyway, and even though that's not much consellation, it's true. And at least you know that he's going to a better place.

Try to make sure he doesn't suffer, that might help. I can't possibly imagine what your going through.

Do as best you can to handle the grief. Ask your mum if you can stay home from school, but if you can't, you can always go in mourning for him (e.g. wear a black armband to school.) I did when my aunt died. Mum stayed at home and cried, and I went to school because I couldn't cope with her and to get my mnd off things, and I wore a black armband, choker and headband to school everyday. It helped.

I'm really sorry.

 
Here is a poem, I know your dad isn't gone yet, so please don't feel offended, but I think this is a really good poem.

Just Remeber Me

When tomorrow starts without you and you're not here to see how very much I loved you and how precious and dear you are to me, all I ask is that you just remember me.

You were my life, my friend, and my only love. You were the strength that kept me going through the good times and the bad. You pushed me and encouraged me to be the person I needed to be. So when tomorrow starts without you, just remember me.

I love you and I miss you and I think about you every day. I have your pictures and memories, but that is just not the same. I talk to you often and visit your grave, but it's so hard to realize that you're really gone. At times I feel your presence letting me know everything will be okay. So when tomorrow starts without you, and you're not here to see, just always remember me.

Life is so hard without you and I've cried a million tears just wishing and waiting for you to come back to me. It's so hard to give you up and that's one thing I don't really want to do, but I know it's really final that you're really, truly gone. For this, I'm really trying, but it's very hard to do, to go with life just as you would want me to do. You left so many things unfinished and so many things to do, so it's just so hard to imagine what you would do. So when tomorrow starts without you and you're not here to see just be my Guardian Angel and remember to look out for me.

I know you're safe in heaven without the cancer and the pain and you have a heavenly body, but I miss you just the same. I know you're safe with Jesus and have seen him face to face, and are rejoicing with your loved ones and all the other saints who have been called home. I know that you're singing in that heavenly choir, and that you're probably singing Amazing Grace and how he set you free the loudest of all. So when tomorrow starts without you and you're not here to see, just always remember me.

I know you have a mansion and are walking on streets of gold, and that you'll never be sick again and you'll never grow old. I'm waiting patiently to enter those pearly gates so we can be together in that heavenly place. We'll have a lot to talk about and loved ones to see, and we'll get to stroll together one more time. So when tomorrow starts without you and you're not here to see, just remember that I'll always love you and no one can take your place. So please just remember to watch out for me.

I love you with all my heart and miss you more than you know. I often wish for just one more day with you and imagine how it would be. I would tell you that I love you and ask you not to leave me as we have all our tomorrows with so many plans and things to do. So if my love for you could build a stairway and my memories a lane, I'd walk all the way to heaven to bring you back to me, but since that is impossible and cannot be, all I ask is that when tomorrow starts without you that you just always remember me.

 
That is so sad :( :D :angry: I know you told people not to say it, but there COULD be a 99% chance that he lives! My dad was suppossed to die when he had a serious case of pnemonia, but he didn't, so just keep praying.

 
*cries while writing* I absalutly ADORE my father. I once almost say him fall off a cliff too. I was crying and praying. You and your father should spend quality time together and learn as much about him as you can, so you can remember him. Every time my dad tells me something about himself and sad things that happend to him before i was born i just SOB AND SOB! my dad is a GREAT country singer and when he sang in church in front of every one i sobbed. don't be afraid to talk to him or your mother.

GOD RULES THE EARTH. IF IT IS HIS WILL WITH ONLY A THOUGHT YOUR FATHER CAN LIVE!

*HUGS YOU*

 
Think about all the good times you had together. Talk to him. Tell him you love him. Make a scrapbook about what you did with him. Take pictures. Remember, even if the body isn't around the spirit will remain in your heart forever.

Once he's gone he'll still be watching over you while he's in heaven.

Have a song:

So I won't give up

No I won't break down

Sooner than it seems life turns around

And I will be strong

Even if it all goes wrong

When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe

Someone's watching over me

So I won't give up

No I won't break down

Sooner than it seems life turns around

And I will be strong

Even if it all goes wrong

When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe

That I won't give up

No I won't break down

Sooner than it seems life turns around

And I will be strong

Even when it all goes wrong

When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe

That someone's watching over

Someone's watching over

Someone's watching over me

Someone's watching over me

 
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I'm very sorry for you. Just try to spend as much time with him as you can during the last week, and make sure he's comfortable. Again, I feel very sorry for you.

 
I know how it is to lose a parent. My father died from complications of Crohn's disease (not taking care of himself as he should have) when I was 10. It's not easy because I was just starting to get to know him growing up. Like REALLY know him. I think the positive you can get out of this is you get some time with him. My father's death was very sudden and never really was able to do a proper farewell. You have time. Cease the day and spend as much time with him as possible. It might not sotp the pain but it will start the healing sooner.

 
Ohh my! I am so sorry. I know you said not too say this but believe in him! Believe he will make it! Be strong about it. Dont let it just slip down your throat because it wont! I promise he will be alright!

 
Ohh my! I am so sorry. I know you said not too say this but believe in him! Believe he will make it! Be strong about it. Dont let it just slip down your throat because it wont! I promise he will be alright!
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I know your intentions are good...but promising that their parent won't pass on and then they pass on will make you look rather ridiculous don't you think? If it's been diagnosed as terminal then that's how it is. A positive outlook to this is you still have time, but chances of what you say will occur are slim to none. Best just to comfort her ;)

 
I had a friend with cancer. The hospitals told him he had 1 month to live. He died in 2002. He was given his 'news' in 1993. He lived 9 years longer than they expected him to.

Just because hospitals give an expected date doesn't mean they're always right.

It's hard for me to be sympathetic over the death of any father, considering mine isn't exactly wonderful, but I am sorry you and your family is going through something like this. I don't know what it's like to lose a parent, but I know what it's like to not have one.

 
Ohhh really Sweet Kandi?

Sweet kandi is right. Not all hospitals give a really date.

 
Oh, there there....i fell really sorry for you(really, not sarcastically) All you can do is make his days as happy as you can and help him remember the good times. Pray to the Good Lord and maybe your miracle might come along...

Keep praying~

Shilo

 
Oh my goodness! I know how you feel. My friends dad died when me and my friends were five! I really liked their dad. He was REALLY nice. I know you told us not to say it... but listen. It's true. Your dad has a 99.9% chance of dying... but, he has a .1% chance of living. Anyway, i feel relly srry 4 u. spend time with your dad. Get 2 no him beter.

LTL

 
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