Do you think this is a good idea

[~Red~Rose~]

Okay.

There's a girl who goes to a ballet school. But one term, her Mum says that she can't afford the fees. The girl has to come home and go to a normal school while her Mum finds a new job that's better payed. But she ends up being teased. She wishes she was back at the school. In the end, she goes back. happy ending!

What do you think? Should I write it?

 

[Shatagama]

To be honest, it sounds a bit ... flat ...

What is different about this story that will make it stand out from other stories? Is it just: she goes, she can't go and eventually she goes back? Make it a bit more exciting. Have something HUGE happen, not just that she can't afford it.

Hope I helped. If not, sorry.

-Shatagama-

 

[~Hello Kitty~]

Your story reminds me of the movie Bring It On!

But good story though!

 

[~Red~Rose~]

To Shatagama: Sorry, I forgot. She get bullied, blah blah blah, and she does not make a friend, blah blah blah, but then she gets lost on a school trip? I think

 

[barky]

Maybe what Shatagama meant was that instead of not just being able to afford it, they are kicked out of their house or something? I don't know

But otherwise, it could be good

Best Wishes,

barky

 

[~Red~Rose~]

^ thanks, I'll use that! And if it's ever published, I'll mention you! XD

 

[barky]

Lol thank you - I can see it now:

With special thanks to barky, from a Tamagotchi site I go on!

Hehe! :mimitchi:

Post the first chapter or something soon - I want to read it

Best Wishes,

barky

 

[tamtamkitty07]

Hm, it sounds a bit too ordinary.. Maybe if you add onto the conflict a little?

Well in the end, it all depends on how you write it. Go for it. ;D

 

[~Red~Rose~]

Okay...This is part of the first chapter...... I don't think it's that good, though

End of chapter 1

The glare of the lights was almost blinding, the noise almost deafening. But it gave me more energy, and made me carry on. Time for the reverence. Side, back, arms. En pointe. I could burst with happiness. Then, a loud bell awoke me, and shattered my dream.

Well, She's dreaming that she's the lead dancer in a ballet, and the bell is the morning bell for waking up.