Feeling Left Out

[x.Rachel]

There are 4 of us. S, N, D and me.

S,N and D always do stuff together. At school, in front of me, they will make plans like this:

S: "N! You and D are coming to my house after school!"

Me: "..."

I have invited them over, but they always make an excuse not to come.

They make me feel bad, and say stuff like:

"Oh we're at my place, and we're having so much fun! what are you doing?"

Me: "Nothing..."

Them: "Too bad. We are doing all kinds of fun stuff."

Tehy then complain I try to make them feel bad.

I just feel really left out. If they did stuff together without me knowing, whatever.

But they boast about it, and I feel really unvalued as a friend.

I need help. This has brought me close to tears many times.

-Rachel.

 

[TamaMum]

Aww... that's horrible.

Honey, they are not your friends.

They are doing it because they know it makes you feel sad - and it makes them feel good that they are not the one being left out.

That's not what good friends do to each other.

Don't try to get them back. Don't play the "sad, left out friend" either.

Just move along and find some new friends to invite over to your house.

If they discover that you don't react when they try to make you feel sad and left out, they will stop - or more likely two of them will start on the third and make her feel left out instead. They are not worth your time

 

[RawryCakes.x]

Try finding new friends. I've been friends with M & I since kindergarden, but then M doesn't really like me. So she always tries to just have I all for herself. But then I always ends up complaining to me about M, but then she's never tell M. M always acts so princessy and spoiled. Try talking to the one that you trust the most.

 

[x.Rachel]

I tried talking to N. My bestie since Grade 1.

She is the quietest of the bunch. S calls all the shots, and always will...

 

[x.Kaeleigh]

I agree with TamaMum. Try to make new friends, and ignore the other girls.

S is probably jealous of you, and she's trying to make you feel bad, and if you show it, then she'll feel like she has power over you. But don't let it get to you.

Or you could just make a bunch of new friends, then do the same thing to them for payback...

 

[.:Monster:.:Trucks:.]

It doesn't sound like these guys are your friends. Ignore and make new friends

 

[Clouds.]

Those guys aren't your friends. :|

 

[x.Cant//Knit.x]

Awww.

I think that happens to everyone at one stage in their life. When Jen and I used to be friends with Sarah, I used to be ignored and pretty much the same thing was happening. They'd phone me up, saying how much fun they're having and repeat all their new in-jokes.

I suggest talking to them about it. If they ignore it, be rude, or don't actually take in what you said, they're probably not worth having as friends. Though I know how hard it is to move on, if that's what is best for you, you should go ahead.

All the best, Rachel.

 

[x.Rachel]

Thanks guys.

It is a kind of love/hate relationship. One minute they are trying to shut me out, and the next minute, they want to hang out with me. :/

I don't want to let go of a 7 year friendship. I wish there was a way to fix this...

 

[.:Monster:.:Trucks:.]

^They've been doing this for 7 years!? Yikes.

 

[x.Rachel]

No. Haha. I have been friends with them for 7 years. Sorry if that came across differently.

 

[Caillie. <3]

I'd find new friends. lol

 

[Shatagama]

How long have they been making you feel like this???

At the risk of sounding like an advice columnist, Try talking to they together. Tell them that you've been feeling left out and you want to know why they're planning events without you, in front of you. Invite them over but ask what days they're available, that way they have no reason to not come.

If things don't work, tell them that you want to make some different friends. Explain why you want to and, you never know, they might cop on and realise how mean they're being. What they're doing, leaving you out, is exclusion and is a form of bullying.

Good luck! Hope things work out!

-Shatagama-

 

[snappy c g]

That reminds me of my old friends they always did that i eventually dropped them, and got new friends i feel sorry for you

Your so called friends seem like such jerks!

 

[Fashion Queen Kate PC]

I Know How You Feel People Used To Leave Me Out

All The Time Untill I Confronted Them And Said

Stop Leaving Me Out And Told Them How I Felt.

Just Be Urself And Stand Up For Your Self

BE STONG!

Lol

-Kate xox