I need help with something....love related

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sweetpea40998

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Ok so I am 13 and I have a HUGE crush on a guy who I'm in band with. He is 13 also. I would wish not to use his name, but my best friend made a code name for him.. "Jimmy." Ok so I have liked him for like, 2 years. And this isn't the kind of crush where "oh he's cute :eek: " it's the kind that I really like him for who he is, his personality, and how he really lives up to how he says he's a Christian, just like me. He's one of my best friends, but that's it... And I kinda would like it to be more than that. Not like, boyfriend, but a step of from best friend.. ya know? so this is what I need:

Girls: Should I just act normal? Or talk to him?

Guys: what do guys look for in girls?

Thanks so much. peace :)

 
Definitely be yourself! There's nothing worse than putting on a fake persona whilst around him, and then him falling for someone who just isn't the real you, or in the worst case scenario, being put off by this fake you and not even expressing the slightest interest in you!

And, did you say he's one of your best friends? That's not really the best situation for you right now, because you never know if you're just in the "friend zone" and getting out of that and into something more can be very difficult. But, being one of his good friends, gives you the advantage to find out more about him. Ask him about his love life, if he's interested in anyone, etc etc. Just work from what you've got. Sometimes even telling him straight out that you fancy him could work the best, although if he doesn't feel the same way about you this could risk ruining your friendship.

Maybe ask some of your mutual friends to ask him what he thinks of you and jokingly (well, if they say it right he'll think it's jokingly) ask him if he'd ever date you and stuff like that. Might seem like a silly and risky idea, but trust me, it's worked for me before.

Anyway, good luck! :)

 
x.Cant//Knit.x said:
Definitely be yourself! There's nothing worse than putting on a fake persona whilst around him, and then him falling for someone who just isn't the real you, or in the worst case scenario, being put off by this fake you and not even expressing the slightest interest in you!

And, did you say he's one of your best friends? That's not really the best situation for you right now, because you never know if you're just in the "friend zone" and getting out of that and into something more can be very difficult. But, being one of his good friends, gives you the advantage to find out more about him. Ask him about his love life, if he's interested in anyone, etc etc. Just work from what you've got. Sometimes even telling him straight out that you fancy him could work the best, although if he doesn't feel the same way about you this could risk ruining your friendship.

Maybe ask some of your mutual friends to ask him what he thinks of you and jokingly (well, if they say it right he'll think it's jokingly) ask him if he'd ever date you and stuff like that. Might seem like a silly and risky idea, but trust me, it's worked for me before.

Anyway, good luck! :)
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Thanks so much! :) I definately will be myself :) you helped a whole lot! thanks again!!!

- Jacie

 
Well, Im a guy and what i look in a girl is common interest and such like that. Some dudes are more shallow than me and only look for "looks" but most look for stuff we do in common, and being his friend already kinda helps.

 
Minecraft Addict said:
Well, Im a guy and what i look in a girl is common interest and such like that. Some dudes are more shallow than me and only look for "looks" but most look for stuff we do in common, and being his friend already kinda helps.
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Thanks! That helps a lot because he's definately not shallow like that... We both like physics, he wants to be an engineer, and i want to be a pilot, so we both like airplanes. :) Thanks a lot! <3

 
I look for maturity, seriously. People who don't point and giggle and MILEYCYRUS/JUSTINBIEBEROMG if you know what I mean.

 
sweetpea40998 said:
Thanks! That helps a lot because he's definately not shallow like that... We both like physics, he wants to be an engineer, and i want to be a pilot, so we both like airplanes. :) Thanks a lot! <3
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Your welcome. and BTW Planes ROCK!!! (im such an Air Cadet)

 
I'm confused as to what a step up from best friend is, but not boyfriend status..... that's a funny grey area to me that I haven't heard about.... o_O

It sounds like you really like him and have common faith and interests. That sounds like good stable ground for a relationship. I mean, if you are his best friend, do you think you know how he might react to someone telling him that they like him... I'm not sure what kind of like exactly you have for him if you don't want him to be your boyfriend, but you could always try and be pretty honest about. I didn't start dating till I was bout 14/15, but most of the guys I did date I was just open and honest with them. And even if they didn't feel the same way, nothing was lost or hurt cause they were still my friends.Be courteous if he doesn't feel that way and say something like "okay, well I just wanted to say that I liked you, but if you don't feel the same way that is okay and I value your friendship a lot" and don't push it or force it on him. Letting someone know that you care about them is a good thing to do and most times that I can remember someone telling me that they cared about me in a way deeper than friendship has never made me feel uncomfortable to be around that person. Also, maybe don't do it at school if you think it would cause an issue - go someplace together that you hang out and then talk about it maybe? Sometimes other people being around can make something honest like this go south in a hurry...

Hope the best for you!

-Purn

 
Aww...it happens all the time, though. Like when I had my best friend and I fell in love with him. But I couldn't risk it because he was sort of a player. And so he went back to his hometown and I never got the chance to say it...
mellow.gif


BUT!! This isn't about me. It's about you. And yes, my best advice? Be yourself. No, be your BEST SELF. It helps to be good and don't be so pushy around him. Don't be so nice either. But tell him how you feel before it's too late. Unlike me -.-. Yes, act normal, and make him feel special. That way he'd know how much you like him.

But when you get hurt, don't worry. It's not the end of the world. Just let it all out on someone, move on and forget the past. The most important time is now. Always remember that. :]

 
Well, i asked my Best friend out.

She seemed a little surprised, but really happy about it. so i think it should go great for you.

 
If he rejects you. Get over him ASAP. I went through the toughest heart-break after a guy I really liked. A bit of a player he was and he didn't like me at all. But went out with me. The best thing I got from him? A hug to shut me up. Just a single hug.

Dark times. Dark times.

 
Purpurn sorry.. I love him but I'm not allowed to date. See? And I'm homeschooled anyways xD

Golden strings thanks so much

Minecraft thank u!!

Jadeie... Thanks for the encourgement o_o

 
You need to just be yourself and act normal.But Talking to him a bit won't hurt either. :)

 
You should just be yourself:) You seem like a really lovely person and it's better to be liked for who you are, rather than pretending to be someone else:)

But, if you are best friends, think about what it could do to your friendship if things go wrong. Not saying that they will, I fell in love with my best friend last summer and I've been going out with him for over a year now:) You should just try to be as nice a person as you can and just be a laugh:)

And dont worry much about love at this age, you're 13, enjoy life:)!xxx

 
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