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cutie_pop

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Well a few days ago, my mum told me and my sister that she smoked and this was something new for us and we didn't believe it at all until she showed us the cigarettes in her bag. After that me and my sister just started crying, we couldn't help it. I know that sounds really stupid but well...at school we learn A LOT about smoking and drinking and how bad it is for you and there's always a lot of ads on t.v that try to stop people from smoking. We're just worried that she might fall with a really bad illness or just something bad that I don't want to say.

She said that she only takes 5 cigarettes per day so I'm guessing that isn't too bad and it isn't like she has to reach for a cigarette every few seconds. She's been hiding her smoking from us for 5 years. I knew she smoked and she told us that she used to smoke before my dad and her got married but she quit after they got married because she knew that my dad doesn't like smoking but my mum never really got over the addiction.

I asked her if she ever thought of calling up one of those smoking addiction anonymous hotlines and she sais yes but I can't speak proper english (we're japanese). She also said that she smokes because she's stressed and it's her life so it isn't our decision on whether she quits or not but..oh I don't know, it is HER life and I respect that but we love her and we want her to stop!

What do you think I should do?

 
I'm glad you want to help your mom, but this addiction has been going on for a long time....there's nothing you can do. There are a few techniques you could try, but don't expect miracles;

1. Tell her how bad smoking is, and use the internet for sproof. This could scare her into stopping, but not the best idea. She probably already knows the possible concequences of her actions.

2. Cry whenever she smokes...this could make her see how much it upsets you, but it might make your mom angry.

There two techniques aren't very good, and probably won't work. Just sit down, talk to your mom...let her know you care and that you'll be with her every step of the way. My mom used to smoke, but she quit. She did it on her own, without calling a hotline or taking nicorette(sp?).

You have to understand that this is her life and she is the one suffering....although, you could suffer from second hand smoke, but if she's never smoked around you that's highly unlikely.

Just let your mom deal with it in whatever way she can.

 
I totally agree with SxeiMuffin on everything they said and you could also steal away her cigarettes and replace them with sugar free gum or something else that is tasty but harmless...you know. Okay that was a totally stupid suggestion...but I gues u could try it...maybe...

Chatalot

 
I disagree with the 'tell her how bad it is.'

Smokers already KNOW the risks. They know how bad it is. It's a choice to smoke.

It sucks that you're worried about her, but it's her life, her body, her choice.

Don't waste your breath telling her it's bad for her.

As for stealing her cigarettes, that's possibly one of the worst things you could do :|

She's your MOTHER. You don't steal from your parents. Regardless of what it is. Also, hello, she has money. She can buy more.

If she wants to smoke, that's her decision. Leave it alone.

 
MY mom didn't tell me, I found out on my own. I didn't tell her I know. I visit her, because I donm't live with her, and one night I woke up, looked outside and saw her smoking.

I think you should talk to her. She is your mother, and you should be able to talk about it.

 
My mom hides it from my sister and I. I saw her in the backyard one day, and she was smoking. I really want her to stop. I just wish I had a way, too. Whenever I say she smokes, she just tells me to stop saying that.

The best advice is to say how much you care about her and her body, but it really is her own decision to stop smoking. Once you smoke at first, it hurts, but then it gets addictive.

 
I agree with Sweet Kandi. There is nothing you can do. I know this is a hard fact to find out, but all you can do is what you are already doing: not smoking yourself. I am sure she already knows the facts, and how bad it is, and she won't want you to start.

And, some people smoke their whole lives and nothing happens to them. I am sorry about your mother.

*BaBi*

Ps: I jsut re-read your story, and you mother said it was about stress aswell. I suggest you suggest she get a therepist, to help with stress and help her organize her life. That may help her quit.

 
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I agree with Sweet Kandi. There is nothing you can do. I know this is a hard fact to find out, but all you can do is what you are already doing: not smoking yourself. I am sure she already knows the facts, and how bad it is, and she won't want you to start.
And, some people smoke their whole lives and nothing happens to them. I am sorry about your mother.

*BaBi*

Ps: I jsut re-read your story, and you mother said it was about stress aswell. I suggest you suggest she get a therepist, to help with stress and help her organize her life. That may help her quit.
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I did think about a therapist or something but I don't think she would be willing to see one. I know some things she's stressing about but not all I don't think.

One reason is because my sister and brother are always fighting about stupid things (eg. who won the race to the car) and they just scream and shout at each other and expect my mum to do something about it.

Another reason is because she's just frustrated when my siblings and I don't listen to what she say but most of the time, it's my sister that doesn't listen to my mum. Let's just say my sister has a short temper? (I call it an anger management problem). My mum always tells my sister to clean up her room or do her homework or get her things off the table and my sister just always says "I KNOW" or just ignores her but never does what she's told.

My mum says that she felt unneeded at these times so I tried to at least make these things better by trying to solve my sister and brother's problems and doing what I'm told and telling them to say "please" or "thank you". My sister was really upset about my mum smoking and she was good for the day after we found out but after that she just went back to normal. :)

 
Well a few days ago, my mum told me and my sister that she smoked and this was something new for us and we didn't believe it at all until she showed us the cigarettes in her bag. After that me and my sister just started crying, we couldn't help it. I know that sounds really stupid but well...at school we learn A LOT about smoking and drinking and how bad it is for you and there's always a lot of ads on t.v that try to stop people from smoking. We're just worried that she might fall with a really bad illness or just something bad that I don't want to say.
She said that she only takes 5 cigarettes per day so I'm guessing that isn't too bad and it isn't like she has to reach for a cigarette every few seconds. She's been hiding her smoking from us for 5 years. I knew she smoked and she told us that she used to smoke before my dad and her got married but she quit after they got married because she knew that my dad doesn't like smoking but my mum never really got over the addiction.

I asked her if she ever thought of calling up one of those smoking addiction anonymous hotlines and she sais yes but I can't speak proper english (we're japanese). She also said that she smokes because she's stressed and it's her life so it isn't our decision on whether she quits or not but..oh I don't know, it is HER life and I respect that but we love her and we want her to stop!

What do you think I should do?
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If shes only started thats fine. Expecialy if she takes 5 aday. My mum takes atleast 12 aday.

 
Well a few days ago, my mum told me and my sister that she smoked and this was something new for us and we didn't believe it at all until she showed us the cigarettes in her bag. After that me and my sister just started crying, we couldn't help it. I know that sounds really stupid but well...at school we learn A LOT about smoking and drinking and how bad it is for you and there's always a lot of ads on t.v that try to stop people from smoking. We're just worried that she might fall with a really bad illness or just something bad that I don't want to say.
She said that she only takes 5 cigarettes per day so I'm guessing that isn't too bad and it isn't like she has to reach for a cigarette every few seconds. She's been hiding her smoking from us for 5 years. I knew she smoked and she told us that she used to smoke before my dad and her got married but she quit after they got married because she knew that my dad doesn't like smoking but my mum never really got over the addiction.

I asked her if she ever thought of calling up one of those smoking addiction anonymous hotlines and she sais yes but I can't speak proper english (we're japanese). She also said that she smokes because she's stressed and it's her life so it isn't our decision on whether she quits or not but..oh I don't know, it is HER life and I respect that but we love her and we want her to stop!

What do you think I should do?
Click to expand...
Well if she does fall into a illness, it might be good for her...

Because my Aunt used to smoke ,but she got so ill she couldn't smoke for about a week. Then she wasn't addicted anymore (It was a sickness from smoking).

But, If I were you I would try to sneak the cigarates out of her bag, to help her.

I know it wouldn't do much good because she could go to a gas station to get more, but it would slow her down.

She probably wouldn't smoke as much.

By the way how old is she??

 
My nana had been smoking for 50 years and has been succesfully quit for 14 months. She used these patches, that you smoke, while you using them, and it blockes the senses that need the nicotine, and eventually you just think its gross. My dad did the same thing, and on the 5th day he picked up a cig. and had to put it down and though "omg, I can't believe I ever smoked these disgusting things".

 
I Dont realy know what to say...I just can say...

If it realy bothers you, try talking to our mom. But be carefull, second hand smoke can cause respatory problems

My mom used to smoke, and I developed asthma. But she stopped when i was diegnosed with asthma.

thats all i can say at the moment...I hope that helpd a little

-Jennie

 
I'm sorry, but i sorta disagree with Sweet Kandi (still luv ya B) ). I think that the COMPLETELY WORST thing possible is to not do anything about it! Sure she's ur mom and older than u and can make her own decisions...but she IS ur own MOTHER (the woman who gave birth to u and whose milk fed your fragile body) and u want her do live longer, don't u? If she gets sick from smoking, it'll be partly ur fault cuz u didn't do anything to help her! So my advice is ask ur counselor or teacher or other adult u can trust! Those stupid hotlines PROBABLY won't do anything worth it...

Chatty

 
I'm sorry, but i sorta disagree with Sweet Kandi (still luv ya :D ). I think that the COMPLETELY WORST thing possible is to not do anything about it! Sure she's ur mom and older than u and can make her own decisions...but she IS ur own MOTHER (the woman who gave birth to u and whose milk fed your fragile body) and u want her do live longer, don't u? If she gets sick from smoking, it'll be partly ur fault cuz u didn't do anything to help her! So my advice is ask ur counselor or teacher or other adult u can trust! Those stupid hotlines PROBABLY won't do anything worth it...
Chatty
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Well this time...i agree with you SK! smokers know exactly what they are doing to there health. I dont know how smokers smoke..lol it just doesnt wrap around my mind that well. But still its her life, her choices, you cant stop her. and i know how you feel. My brother smokes alot and sometimes i get down about it but i cant do anything but watch sadly. If you feel that strongily about it just confirm her about it and see what happens. :angry:

~Mamitchi465

 
To anyone who said to take the cigarrettes out of her bag: That is stealinlg. Stealing is a felony. Meaning, ILLEGAL! Don't do it! It will just make your mother mad, get you in trouble, and plus, she'll just go and buy more. So you've also just wasted HER money, making her go buy more than she needs because she already had one, but you stole it.

And now, that was all I had to say. But if you want to know my opinion, well, let's just say I completely agree with Sweet Kandi.

 
Well I can't say much because I am a smoker myself, but my suggestion is to tell her that, by her smoking it is hurting you and your sister and that you both can be affected by smoking (second-hand smoking). Tell her that you are both worried for her and don't want to loose her. Another thing you can do is steal her cigarettes and dispose of them, maybe that way she'll get a hint. Trust me, smoking isn't easy to quit. Once you start, it's hard to quit. You can show her pictures of how her lungs look, and ask her if she'd want to walk around with all that tar all over her face. Show her pictures of peoples throats with the holes in them and ask her if she wants that hole in her throat. Just show her how much you both are hurt by her smoking.

 
Well if she does fall into a illness, it might be good for her...Because my Aunt used to smoke ,but she got so ill she couldn't smoke for about a week. Then she wasn't addicted anymore (It was a sickness from smoking).

But, If I were you I would try to sneak the cigarates out of her bag, to help her.

I know it wouldn't do much good because she could go to a gas station to get more, but it would slow her down.

She probably wouldn't smoke as much.

By the way how old is she??
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Yeah, me and my sister sneaked a few out of her bag and put them in the bin.

 
Well I can't say much because I am a smoker myself, but my suggestion is to tell her that, by her smoking it is hurting you and your sister and that you both can be affected by smoking (second-hand smoking). Tell her that you are both worried for her and don't want to loose her. Another thing you can do is steal her cigarettes and dispose of them, maybe that way she'll get a hint. Trust me, smoking isn't easy to quit. Once you start, it's hard to quit. You can show her pictures of how her lungs look, and ask her if she'd want to walk around with all that tar all over her face. Show her pictures of peoples throats with the holes in them and ask her if she wants that hole in her throat. Just show her how much you both are hurt by her smoking.
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Yeah, I was thinking of searching for heaps of disgusting photos of teeth and liver and things like that after smoking...

 
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