Made Mom Cry Today...

[PrivateSunshine]

No big deal, really, but still. I feel kinda bad that she's upset, but I know she's proud of me. I was originally supposed to ship out on May 20th of this year for boot camp, and my mom was already upset about that. Then a few days ago, my recruiter called me up and said I'm possibly leaving March 18th unless they could find another female to take my place. Well my mom bawled at that, lol (my recruiter later found out and told me I owe him 25 burpees... ouch.). Command found a replacement for me, but told me I'd be leaving April 28th. My mom was upset that it was a month earlier than my original date, but was relieved to find out she had a month more with me instead of just a week. So you can probably imagine how upset she was when she found out my ship date is officially set in stone to April 22nd, instead of April 28th.

If that wasn't bad enough for her (I personally am EXCITED!), I had to sit down and have a serious talk with her about how I lost my MOS (Military Occupational Specialty), and about what my *new* MOS is... Instead of Aviation Ordnance (building/loading bombs and heavy artillery on to planes), I'll be doing Military Police. With this MOS, I have a much higher chance of getting deployed to Afghanistan. Yes, some of it will be boring, standing at gates, but it'll be in Afghanistan, and I'll have to watch for car bombs and land mines at said gates. She wasn't happy to hear that... I told her the good news, though, which is that I get more combat training, and I get to kick in doors, use more guns, all that. Not only that, but after my enlistment is up, since I know 2 languages, I'll have job opportunities in Border Patrol, FBI, and the Secret Service. My life is pretty much set.

She was happy to hear that last bit of news, but overall I just feel so bad that I keep unintentionally making her cry, but I felt I had to tell her everything that way she's not living in a false state of bliss thinking that no matter what, I'm 100% safe. I hate it when she's stressed, but I at least know how to calm her down (usually through hot tea, HGTV, and a game of chess). My problem is I won't be home when she's stressing the most, and my brother won't do anything about it. I feel like I'm abandoning her

That being said, I'm EXCITED to leave!

I just really had to get this off my chest on a site where no one knows me...

 

[SailorRosette]

Its a good thing to get it off your chest. Just make sure to prep for what maybe ahead for you.

Maybe you can find something of yours that you love or have fond memories with. Then take a picture for you and give your mom the item to hold. While she can do the samething, in that way, you will still be together wherever you are.

Moms love letters, even if they don't seem to. Even if you can't mail them, write a diary to her and give it/send it when you can. If you can get pictures of you smiling or in unique places, that may be nice too.

 

[WhiteClaw84]

Being a mom now...I can understand how she feels. Heck I cried when my 13 month old at 4 months decided he didn't want me to rock him anymore. I follow a blog amalah . com. She describes how fast your kid grows up and how it feels. Hopefully, it will give you perspective as to how your mom is feeling. It's not your fault for making her cry just understand why she is crying and know that it's not because she doesn't want to spread your wings and fly but because she is going to miss all those days she watched you practice first.

From Amalah's blog:

"Everybody tells you it goes fast; it goes so, so fast; enjoy it because FAST. They tell you this when your first baby is like, seven minutes old and the idea of him ever being anything but a fussy little non-sleeping blob sounds completely crazy. You've aleady forgotten what it feels like to sleep. It all goes so fast? THAT'S FASCINATING. OKAY, TRYING TO KEEP AN INFANT ALIVE OVER HERE, BRB.

What they don't tell you is that it goes even exponentially faster with each subsequent baby. You have a frame of reference now. You know the stages: That already-sleeping-through-the-night-newborn is nothing to brag about now (HA! N00BS!), because in a few weeks he will wake up and realize that the world around him is BRIGHT and LOUD and SUCKS.

That swaddled burrito will figure out what his arms and legs do and start rolling and scooting and general not-staying-where-you-put-him-ing. Then comes a long, hazy stage of constant injury prevention and choking hazards. Crawling, cruising, walking, falling.

Booties become shoes. Then bigger shoes. Pureed yams languish in the freezer because it's all about the finger foods and then the fork and the spoon and gimme some of your steak, plz. The pajamas that looked laughably huge just a few months ago no longer stay snapped in the crotch. He refuses to sit in a high chair or even a booster seat, his legs hang over the edge of the changing table, he helps put away the groceries and knows how to turn the TV on and how to get to Elmo videos on my phone. Mimicry gives way to independence, babble turns into conversation, and suddenly you realize you're in the final year (or maybe even months) of diapers and cribs and babyhood altogether.

And then you catch a glimpse of your reflection next to theirs in a shop window and wonder when all that happened. The lines and the eyebags and the neck. And when your babies' heads came up past your thigh, your hip, your waist, your chest. When they stopped loving Elmo and calling you Mama.

At least we're not quite there yet with this one. It'll all happen soon enough, because FAST, but...not quite yet.

And something tells me I'll be swallowing back the "baby" part of "Baby Ike" for a long, long time, because he is. And always will be."