My novel idea.

[Jadeie]

I was wondering if anyone likes this idea for a novel (be warned, it's MINE!)

So, 2 women were fighting their entire life - each was born with deadly powers.

One was good, another evil, they fought until their power had weakened too much to fight. So they each created 5 super humans - who were born from normal people, the super humans they created, the good children were made from the good woman and the evil woman made the evil children.

The good woman made 3 girls and 2 boys while evil made 2 girls and 3 boys.

But their power was weak and the children were only born with one power each. Now, the main character, Alexa has the power of weather.

But the plot is - Alexa falls in love with an evil boy, but she was created to destroy him. She ignores what the good woman tells her - so the good woman sets out to destroy the evil lover herself - even if it meant to kill herself by using her last power. But Alexa doesn't want anything of the sort to occur, so Alexa has to stop her.

Please tell me what you think about it :3

 

[alaskayoung]

No, I wouldn't read this. I'm sorry Jadeie, but your plots are totally unoriginal.

 

[Goggle-Face]

No, I wouldn't read this. I'm sorry Jadeie, but your plots are totally unoriginal.

Hey now. No need to be rude.

I can see this maybe being a story. Maybe a novella as long as "Short Second Life of Bree Tanner".

My problems are is that I see cliches. The Romeo and Juliet storylines are rather overdone, why don't you make Alexa's crush on Evil Boy a sideplot that still controls her decisions? You should probably focus more on Good Woman's plot to destroy the boy than Alexa being in love with Evil Boy.

(Footnote; I see you use the name Alexa alot, like in roleplays. Do you really like that name?)

 

[DaEmoBunnyOnTheMoon]

If you were to put this on the back of the book for a summary, I would not read the book. Perhaps if you were to take out some details, such as the amount of children the women had? It sorta sounds slightly choppy, and the summary needs to flow more evenly. Then, it would be a book that would persuade people to read it. Sometimes, when I read a book, there is an awesome summary, but once I open the book, I'm like "Get to the point!"

When I'm usually writing a story, I do not write the description of the character. I usually use someone else's point of view to describe what is happening. For example:

(This scene is supposed to be one of the characters flying in the air, and he sees a girl fall from nowhere in particular.)

He(I'm not giving him a name) flew through the air, enjoying his flight. His arms spread wide, he glided through the air. But at the corner of his eye, is say a white cloth flowing down with the wind. He then realized it was not a cloth, but a girl. Her skin was a pretty pale white, like an elegant lady, and her long, chocolate hair was flowing upwards, like seaweed in the ocean being pulled up with a magnet.

Well, this is just my tactic in writing. Just some information to get you started.

 

[varos19]

Hey now. No need to be rude.

Yeah, sorry. I shouldn't have been rude. I agree with you, Claire.

TROLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO~

 

[Jadeie]

Maybe I should add that the evil guy is still killing attempting to her allies? He just has a soft spot for Alexa, I guess it's not a big soft spot though. I'm still adding this to get this away from Romeo and Juliet side (I wasn't even aware it was like that XD).

I'm still thinking of writing in Alexa's POV, as I don't know how that would work but It's my best writing style (I formed my writing style through Role-playing XD).

And yes Goggle-Face, Alexa is my favourite name, next to Veruka and Eveny.

 

[Ryuk`]

This is the type of story that you would have to work really hard on to make it original. The idea has been used so many times and you'd have to be really creative with it. Maybe this evil guy Alexa is falling for kills one of her brothers- but she won't part with him out of love? Make things suspenseful. If you'd like, you can PM me about ways to build tension. If you want people to read your book you need to make sure that you're keeping a reader interested always.

I recommend some brainstorming! ;D

 

[ShutUpAndSmile]

Eh I wouldn't read it by it's current description. I feel like you could of used better words and a more original plot line. Everyone expects her to fall in love with who she can't have. Maybe have her fall in love with another good person or something. Idk.

 

[Jadeie]

It's current description was rushed.. It wouldn't be any better if I rewrote it because all I do is rush XD

 

[ShutUpAndSmile]

If you learned not to rush then you would probably have a chance of writing something really good. :3 Art can't be rushed. lol

 

[tama v4 master]

id read it : O

but i might not LIKE it

 

[Jadeie]

Okay, editing the plot a bit, no more Romeo/Juliette problem :3

Main plot:

5 on 5 in a battle to the death. Day vs Night, Tora Smith grew up with the ability to control weather at her will, in her eyes she was the towns freak. Her life is a mess, her parents don't care for her, the circus is after her, her boyfriend was killed, the killer is shrouded by mystery and it all turns into thoughts that dart through Tora's mind. She then bumps in a girl, but that girl, it was a dark version of Tora, the meeting turned into a fist-fight as quick as a twig-snap. Little did Tora know, she would be meeting dark Tora again.

I might start this as a mini-series on deviantart and if it gets popular I will start writing it to be a proper book.

 

[ShutUpAndSmile]

Much better then before :3

 

[Jadeie]

And I wrote that at mid-night and all I wanted to do is sleep XD