My Parents are Bad Parents

[Mametchi_Queen]

First:

1) I was six years old when my parents kicked me out of their bed, and taught me to sleep in my own bed and room. Now, my brother is 8, and he still is **invited** by my parents to do this. Whenever I suggest he sleeps in the expensive loft bed they got him, I get yelled at. wtf???

2) I was six years old and my parents were constantly enforcing the fact that I had to clean my room and keep it that way. Now, my brother is 8, and my parents are completely oblivious to his room, with lego, leaves and food crumbs matted into the carpet, his 'nature area' being shoved on to the floor cuz he needs that space for his homework, which ends up curled up underneath his bed with an ice cream bowl from last weekend and a yogurt cup from who knows when. Again - wtf???

This is really annoying because my parents are just letting him run wild, and I can't take it. My maternal instincts tell me to replace my mother in the lecture of cleanliness, enforce chores and the simple 'you have a bed and room and you're old enough to live there'.

How do I convince my parents that they are almost ruining their son and get them to fix it?

 

[Band Geek]

i used to sleep in my mom's bed. I taught myself to stop when I was 11.

I was never forced.

Discuss the problem.

 

[FireCracker]

WTF

 

[tamaw/pants]

Even six is pretty old to be sleeping in the same bed as the parents. I think I always had my own bed. When I had a nightmare sometimes I would go suggle on one side for comfort but generally I was on my own.

8 is far too old, IMHO.

Just don't think it's your responciblity to be the parent of your brother. Encourage him to do what he should but if worst comes to worst you need to say something to your 'rents.

Some parents have a hard time of letting go of "their baby". I would encourage him to learn these life lessons and encourage your parents [without talking like you know better than them, even if you do in this case because they don't like that] to do the same.

I tried to get my brother to stop being rude to me - even though he's 12, lol - by having a contest. We saw who would say "shut up" the most times in two weeks and whoever did say it the most [we kept track] had to buy the other icecream. We tied but maybe you could try something like this??

 

[Sweet Kandi]

You sound a lot like my sister in a sense. Trying to take control over the younger sibling.

I'll clue you in on one thing right now. If you WANT your brother to hate you for the rest of your life, control him. If not, leave the parenting to the parents.

Parents are weird with second children sometimes. They get treated differently from first borns. I was the second born and my sister hates how my parents treated me compared to her.

The only think I can suggest is to ignore it. If you bring it up, chances are you're going to get in trouble for it.

Your parents don't sound that bad. At least you have them.

 

[Squidward is Cool]

That kinda sounds like my brothers and parents.

My brothers are autistic, so they do a lot of things that little kids do. They are almost in middle school, and my mom is finally doing my best to make my brothers a habit of sleeping in their own bed and such.

It may be just the whole "parents are looser with 2nd child" stuff, because they already know what's happening.

Just to let you know, I feel your pain a long way.

 

[Scottie_]

I think that maybe, like Squidward said, it might be the whole "second child" thing.

Believe it or not, I think you should let it go. It doesn't sound like a big deal or anything.

Plus, I'm an only child. D; I hate it because my parents seem to openly poke fun at me. They at times baby me, then turn all strict when I try to act my age. I bet if they ever had a second child I'd feel the same way. -hatehatehate-

 

[x.Ryancloud]

Does it matter THAT much??

 

[Mothra]

It does sound like the second child syndrome.

Is it just you two?

When parents know this is the last kid, that kid will always be the baby.

While I completely agree with you that this needs to stop, you need to back off. Let your parents be the parents. I know this really grinds on your nerves and I completely understand why it does. We don't really do this kind of thing in the US/Canada/English speaking world in general and it's sort of unusual to let a kid older than like.. 4 sleep with the parents.

It seems your parents can't let go of the 'baby'.

You can feel sorry for your kid brother. He's being babied too much. This can be a great injustice in the end. Hopefully it won't be but back off. Let go of the issue. I know it's easier said than done but you'll be happier if you just let them do their thing.

Ooh, I know. you should start sleping in his bed

The loft sounds like it might be nice and hey, if the mattress isn't being used, it might be nicer than yours.

 

[Sweet Kandi]

It does sound like the second child syndrome.Is it just you two?

When parents know this is the last kid, that kid will always be the baby.

While I completely agree with you that this needs to stop, you need to back off. Let your parents be the parents. I know this really grinds on your nerves and I completely understand why it does. We don't really do this kind of thing in the US/Canada/English speaking world in general and it's sort of unusual to let a kid older than like.. 4 sleep with the parents.

It seems your parents can't let go of the 'baby'.

You can feel sorry for your kid brother. He's being babied too much. This can be a great injustice in the end. Hopefully it won't be but back off. Let go of the issue.  I know it's easier said than done but you'll be happier if you just let them do their thing.

Ooh, I know. you should start sleping in his bed

The loft sounds like it might be nice and hey, if the mattress isn't being used, it might be nicer than yours. 

I have to agree here. I'm the last child and even at 19 I'm the 'baby' of the whole family.

Because I've been so taken care of and I guess you could say sheltered, I have no means of taking care of myself.

As much as it made my sister mad, I'm struggling now because I'm not motivated to do anything(school,work). I still have that 'my mommy will always be there' mentality, and it's a bad thing to have, especially at my age.

I slept in my mom's bed probably until I was 12, just because she never told me she minded it(and she had a water bed(awesome)).

As much as you hate it now, he's going to be hating it later on when he has to start doing things for himself.

 

[x.addicted.x]

My parents seemed to do that too. Now look, I'm a social butterfly. Now, she's the not-attractive-looking-slightly-obese sister. She would be pretty if she took more than one shower a week(I'm not exagerating) and ate more than doritos, cheese, popsicles, and other crap. Or at least limited her portions. It would help if she got new clothes every once in a while, instead of sticking to the "comfortable" ones she's had since she was five. HER BELLY HANGS OUT. I can't give her handy downs any more. She's a size larger than me. Blah. Waistline wise and.... in other places. GAWD, SHE'S ONLY 10 AND SHE HAS SURPASSED ME BY A CUP SIZE. I'm actually jealous..... But yea, it's not healthy. I've spoken to my parents, and they don't want to do anything about it. Just because they're older doesn't mean they are smarter. Well, they are a little, but that doesn't make them perfect. They are wrong sometimes too. It might not be too horrible now, but her metabolism isn't gonna get any faster. She'll grow up with these habits, and she'll gain more weight. It's really frustrating. My parents seem to not care how much they spoil them. I'm passed that faze,(the spoiled one) but I never got obese. Well, that was just my rant on how you are not the only one suffering. Just..... wait. They'll see what happens soon.

 

[tamawho!!??]

I slept in my own room at 2. Yeah my whole family gets treated better than me..

I agree with X.Ryancloud does it really really bother you. And yeah like Sweet Kandi said if you really want him to hate you take over I guess.

 

[cecib]

I'm the last one of the family. But for me it's kind of the oppisite of your problem.

I agree with Mothra.

Cecib

 

[TAMAGIRL2008]

I'm the First-Born in the Family. I have slept in my own room since I was 2-3. I occasionly used to run screaming into my Parent's room if I had a NightMare or there was a Spider in there.

My Brother always gets the 'Best' things. I do my Homework and tidy my room all the time.

My Brother doesn't. It's kinda annoying.

 

[Ruby_Red_Robin]

My brother is still in my parents' bed and he'll be 11 in April. His excuses are:

The Aliens are gonna kill me, Big Bird is chasing me in my dreams (that was hilarious), and ever since we saw Little Shop of Horrors on Broadway when he was five. The plant came out over the seats (it went out to row L and we were in row P). His room looks like a bomb hit it. It smells like rotten apples and cheese...and like a hamster. He really needs to clean her cage.

When I was little I slept in my parents room when I got a nightmare or didn't feel good (I would usually end up puking on their bed but...Oh Well). If I have a nightmare, I have to sleep on the floor. My bed is a big double bed and it's comfy. I usually like to sleep in my parents' bed when my brother has a sleep over. Even then, if it's at our house he usually sneaks into my parents' bed after his friend falls asleep. I get the boot cuz it gets too hot.

Yeah, so basically I have the same problem.

~Ruby~

EDIT: You know what's even worse? They've tried to kick him out!!! He won't leave!!! I think they just gave up...

 

[x.Foundations]

I'm the third child, but I am treated like the first child usually. No slack or anything, my mom expects me to be perfect like my older sister, who is more so treated like the second.

It can't bother you that much >//> There parents, they know what they're doing.

 

[meowbark]

They ain't bad parents, trust me.

You know, some boys mature slower then girls (Possible reason). I never slept with my parents, once. Neither did any of my brothers. Parents change over a while, they don't stay the same.

 

[NeverEnding A.B.Y.S.S.]

It's the same way here.

I slept with my mom until I was 4-5, but I didn't HAVE to. She wanted me too.

Then we moved, my mom got married, and I have a brother (4)

He goes to a store, throws a fit, and gets what he wants, all the time.

He had been a brat ALL DAY, and we go into a department store, and he gets three to five things!

I go in, and get...NOTHING.

I never ask for anything, mmhmk?

I asked to go to a movie the other weekend, and they put it off, then finally, I just let it drop, It wasn't going to happen.

I ask to go to movies very rarely. I went to one this whole YEAR (January-November) and before that, was maybe, three years ago?!

I ask to go over a friends house, and my mom puts it off until the last minute, and then blames it on me for not reminding her (When I do.)

I ask to have a friend over, and she has an excuse.

I am only a teenager once, and I am stuck with my brother, all the time. Yet, when I ask to get paid for it, she calls me selfish because it is my brother, but of course, when it takes out of her time (Like when she sleeps, she asks me to watch him, and pays me.)

Yet, when I am in the middle of my second, and last, sleep over in the year, she asks me to watch him, I ask to be paid, because it is MY time, and she says no.

When I do get people to come over, she sits there and makes it MISERABLE.

Earlier this year, maybe last, I had a friend over, and we were trying to watch a movie, and god forbid that, every THREE MINUTES she paused the movie and asked me to do something, where she was just sitting on the couch.

...as you can tell, I feel very strongly about this.

 

[Roar The Tiger]

Im the Youngest kid in my Family. So I don't get these sort of Problems.

 

[White_Roses]

I always have had my own bed, with a big cudddly teddy bear in it! I only got into bed with my mum when she was showing me how to do something(like sewing) or reading me a story. She still reads me stories... and I'm almost 12. But really long stories like Harry Potter which I won't read myself coz' it's too big. lol..

So enough about me. Maybe you could suggest getting you brother a teddy bear or something for his birthday so he can snuggle up to that when he has nightmares or something. And tell your parents that they are treating you unfairly compared to him because he gets to do whatever he wants, though he shouldn't, because then he won't learn properely