my poem

[yallita04]

[SIZE=14pt]It is you[/SIZE]

Every time I see you

My heart starts beating fast

You are the reason why I breathe

You are the reason why I would never leave

Every time im not with you

I lose my mind

You are the reason why im here

You are the reason why I overcome my fear

Every time I hear you

I want to be by your side

You are the reason why I think of the sky above

You are the reason why I believe in love

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tell me what you think and how can i make it better

 

[Tamagirl_Desy]

Nice job.

Could use a bit of work. I've said it once, and I'll say it again; watch your choice of words and phrases! <_< For example, the phrases "You are the reason I think of the sky above" doesn't go with the song.

Love, Tgd

 

[yallita04]

Nice job.
Could use a bit of work. I've said it once, and I'll say it again; watch your choice of words and phrases! For example, the phrases "You are the reason I think of the sky above" doesn't go with the song.

Love, Tgd

do you have any suggestions to replace that <_<

 

[Tamagirl_Desy]

do you have any suggestions to replace that

I can't do the work for you, so here are a couple of ryming words that ryme with love. Pick which word you think you should use:

~Dove

~Glove

~Above

~Shove

xDD Not many of them would go with the song, eh?

Since you haev run into a hard-to-ryme-word, what you do is add two words before that word. For exmple,

"That cat is fat

And so is that bat!

And so is that dog over there"

and then, if you are going to add more to the poem, you could start the next paragraph and/or sentance wuth something that rymed with your ending word if you can. The cat dog, and bat thing was just a example. xP

Love, Tgd