Newest poem *an attempt to fix for my last mistake

[Jinx3295]

okay, i made a new ryhiming one..

Lost in the memories,

The young man wept.

Over his wife; from what she ate to even where she slept.

The tears were oh so blinding,

And the man began to think he too, was dying.

And now life has led him here.

Crying over his dead beloved; he shed more than one tear.

And now he felt that death for him was near.

'Don't give up because she's gone,

Even with out her, you can live on.

Take life slow, and never let it go.'

That's what they all said,

But all he wished for was to be dead.

His eyes swelled with dread.

Making them oh so red.

He stood with a knife,

And there he took his life.

Over his dead beloved wife.

'And now he is away,

He wanted to defeat sorrows that followed him until the day.

Why did he have to go this way?'

Because of his suicidal dreams,

He could see life isn't what it seems.

He dove off the cliff of sanity, into Hell's fires and steams.

The knife covered in his blood still gleams..

 

[blue♣slip]

the ryming is kinda confusing, but i really like it.

 

[Gracethedragon]

hey my poetry is very abstract

Broken Dragons

Ice Shatters

Bears Stand

Dragons Weep

Scale to Clay

Fire Lost

Broken Dragons

Line the Ice

 

[Ichigotchi_Piggy]

Sad poem, Jinx3295...but again, I love it. You're getting better at rhyming. I should work on poetry, too.

As for Gracethedragon, your poetry isn't that bad. (Just post it in a different topic )

 

[Fishfreak]

Wow, that's a deep, deep poem. It really get's you thinking, im going to give it an 8/10.

Very beautiful Poem Jinx, Keep it up!

 

[Tamagirl_Desy]

Ohh I feel like the big bad wolf. D:

Probably not your best poem. I understand the feeling/vibe you were trying to give out, but this particular context just didn't please me.

I'm sorry...I still liked it, but as I said I personally like your others better.

Sorry.